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Help I have workmen in my house

  • 25-07-2014 3:38pm
    #1
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭


    So im trapped upstairs trying not to make noise as they take over the downstairs, I have offered them a cup of tea but they seem to be the "no i'll fire away boss" type. I can't take another "jeez, thats some hot weather" talk anymore which I seem to have to take part in every time I pass.

    The problem is I really need a crap, its on the verge of poking its head but I don't want to go take one with them outside the door, what do I do?


Comments

  • #2
    DamagedTrax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,277 ✭✭✭DamagedTrax


    turn on the tap. our bathroom is like a natural amplifier here :o turning the tap on full is sometimes the only option in 'certain' situations.

    .. or ask if they wanna watch. either is good.


  • #3
    Buzz Killington the third
    Closed Accounts Posts: 937 ✭✭✭Buzz Killington the third


    Well... apt name anyway


  • #4
    irish_goat
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 5,840 Mod ✭✭✭✭irish_goat


    Whack the radio on in your room with the door open while you're dropping the kids off at the pool.


  • #5
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    You have the workmen in? Is that some sort of euphemism? Is there a painter's radio involved?


  • #6
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    DamagedTrax wrote: »
    turn on the tap. our bathroom is like a natural amplifier here :o turning the tap on full is sometimes the only option in 'certain' situations.

    .. or ask if they wanna watch. either is good.

    But if I spend an excess amount of time in there they'll know what im doing.


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  • #7
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    You have the workmen in? Is that some sort of euphemism? Is there a painter's radio involved?

    I have the kids inside and I have to dodge the workmen.


  • #8
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Tell them your off to the library or the Internet cafe and that you'll be a while!


  • #9
    iwillhtfu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,373 ✭✭✭iwillhtfu


    I bet that bowls been well pebble dashed already. ;)


  • #10
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    I have the kids inside and I have to dodge the workmen.

    I don't know if that makes it sound less or more like a euphemism.


  • #11
    SweetChaos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭SweetChaos


    Take a shower that will sort out excessive amount of time and also LOL :pac:
    Im interested to see how this pans out


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  • #12
    Witcher
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,824 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    You have the workmen in? Is that some sort of euphemism? Is there a painter's radio involved?

    They're laying pipe:pac:


  • #13
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    gjc wrote: »
    Tell them your off to the library or the Internet cafe and that you'll be a while!

    "Just gonna leave for the library through the bathroom window, jeez thats some weather"

    Sorted.


  • #14
    Shady Tady
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Shady Tady


    gjc wrote: »
    Tell them your off to the library or the Internet cafe and that you'll be a while!

    Tell them revenue are just down the street calling to a building site and watch them disappear!


  • #15
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    SweetChaos wrote: »
    Take a shower that will sort out excessive amount of time and also LOL :pac:
    Im interested to see how this pans out

    The shower is out of action as they're also working in the upstairs bathroom, so that's out of the question.


  • #16
    Donkey Oaty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,533 ✭✭✭Donkey Oaty


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    But if I spend an excess amount of time in there they'll know what im doing.

    Normal bowel evacuation is acceptable when workmen are present.

    However, in these circumstances it is best not to prolong matters in anticipation of a bonus ball.


  • #17
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Have any of them asked to use your ensuite yet?


  • #18
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Donkey Oaty wrote: »
    Normal bowel evacuation is acceptable when workmen are present.

    However, in these circumstances it is best not to prolong matters in anticipation of a bonus ball.

    I dunno, I have to relax on the jax.


  • #19
    DamagedTrax
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,277 ✭✭✭DamagedTrax


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    But if I spend an excess amount of time in there they'll know what im doing.

    quick jog down the shop for some prune juice. it'll be in and out like a SAS operation. they wont have a clue!


  • #20
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    gjc wrote: »
    Have any of them asked to use your ensuite yet?

    Thats the upstairs one they're in now.


  • #21
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Have u tried crossing your legs?


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  • #22
    SweetChaos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭SweetChaos


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    The shower is out of action as they're also working in the upstairs bathroom, so that's out of the question.

    Well then you about to be up to your neck in sh..


  • #23
    Witcher
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,824 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    Ask them have they a shovel going spare and go out behind a bush.


  • #24
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    You could drop down to the local, order a pint, drop a deuce, and go home.


  • #25
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Maximus Alexander wrote: »
    You could drop down to the local, order a pint, drop a deuce, and go home.

    Its not going to happen, its a struggle standing up never mind hopping in the car.


  • #26
    Odelay
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,921 ✭✭✭Odelay


    Bring one of the kids in with you and blame smell/noise on them.


  • #27
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Have they not said jeez it's ten to five lads before the jeez that some hot weather out there


  • #28
    Satriale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,023 ✭✭✭Satriale


    by any chance, have you a plastic bag and a towel?


  • #29
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    gjc wrote: »
    Have they not said jeez it's ten to five lads before the jeez that some hot weather out there

    The plumbers are wrapping up but its going to be all evening for the floor people


  • #30
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    **** it, going for it.


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  • #31
    y0ssar1an22
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,750 ✭✭✭✭y0ssar1an22


    Any chance you're hungry?


  • #32
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Tell them to stick the kettle on and make yourselves at home I reckon that could buy yourself some time


  • #33
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Chickened out there's 3 of them right outside the door


  • #34
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    y0ssar1an22 wrote: »
    Any chance you're hungry?

    I like your rancid, highly repugnant style.


  • #35
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    On the pot.


  • #36
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Tell them a story about a man mad neighbour of yours that frequently topless sunbathes in fact is that her outside now


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  • #37
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    Crisis averted.


  • #38
    Witcher
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,824 ✭✭✭✭Witcher


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Crisis averted.

    Wait until one of them goes into the bog in a few mins and passes out with the smell:pac:

    Celly smunt:p


  • #39
    gjc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭gjc


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Crisis averted.


    All windows open.... Jeez that was quick I normally get the whole paper read while doing a dump


  • #40
    OldNotWIse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    But if I spend an excess amount of time in there they'll know what im doing.

    If it's already er...crowning, you probably wont need to spend a lot of time :)


  • #41
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    Celly Smunt wrote: »
    Crisis averted.

    Ah jaysus the ****ing smell!

    -Posted from my Samsung Galaxy S4 at Celly Smunt's house.


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  • #42
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    gjc wrote: »
    All windows open

    I even lit one of her smelly candles.


  • #43
    neamhspleachi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 347 ✭✭neamhspleachi


    They're builders FFS & you're in your own home.

    Go pinch a loaf & make sounds like two over-sexed Orangutans rutting, you'll be their new hero :D


  • #44
    P_1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,681 ✭✭✭✭P_1


    It's your gaff OP, you're paying them to do a job and I'm sure at least one of them has probably used your jacks. I doubt they'll give a sheeps shtie if you were to go for one.


  • #45
    Celly Smunt
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    P_1 wrote: »
    It's your gaff OP, you're paying them to do a job and I'm sure at least one of them has probably used your jacks. I doubt they'll give a sheeps shtie if you were to go for one.

    Still though....


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