boyfriend is thinking of moving to Austarlia

LegacyUser

i have being going out with my boyfriend since last October, everything is going great now he is only working a few hours per week in a shop and wants to move to Australia there is noway i can go im doing a fas course and just getting by day by day, he has savings to get him there and sorted, but that will mean us breaking up, i dont want to hold him back but some where inside i taught he might be the one, we had even talked about getting a place together, i have lost contact with most of my friends and spent all my time with him since October, my life will fall apart if he leaves, il have to start from scratch. what do i do

Nozzer

That's a tough one and I can imagine it must be hurting. I think the two of you need to have a chat. You need to find out if he sees you in his future and would he be open to the idea of you following him out there? I know you have a fas course but if you knew you were going you could seriously start saving. If he doesn't seem open to that, I don't think his heart is fully in this relationship.

R.D. aka MR.D

I agree with the other poster.

Also, even if you guys do break up, it's not the end of the world. You will pick yourself up and move on. It won't be as bad as you are imagining right now.

Greenduck

I'm not to trying to make you feel worse OP, but you should never shut down your life for anyone! Seeing your friends is so important, not only for your relationship but yourself as a person.

Being that reliant on someone gives them the control of your happiness whether they like it or not. With regards to your issue, there is zero you can do to stop him from going if he wants. It might be the time to sit and have a proper conversation with him to see if he is serious about it.

Stavro Mueller

OP you're only with this guy since October - how did you survive before that? Seriously?

As as already been pointed out, you should never ditch your friends for a boyfriend. It's not good for you, it's not good for your relationship long-term and as you're learning, it can come back to haunt you.

How about trying to rebuild bridges with the friends you've lost contact with? Admittedly some of them might not be impressed that you ditched them and are now crawling back but others might be happy that you've got in touch again.

You said you're doing a FAS course at the moment. Would you consider moving out to Australia in the future once you've got your qualifications? This depending of course on where your boyfriend sees things going? Have a chat about that.

Idle Passerby

It's not a great sign that after less than a year together it seems you have built your whole life around this guy, to the point that you have lost touch with friends. It's possible he finds this very stifling.

The fact that he is contemplating moving to Australia without you suggests he is not as invested in the relationship as you are.

Is he open to you coming with him? If he doesn't seem bothered by you staying behind, my guess would be he doesn't share your feelings of this being "the one".

You should try to reconnect with your friends or make some new ones. Make sure you have other people around you and projects of your own when he leaves so your life cant fall apart.

whirlpool

It sounds to me like you really need to learn to be on your own anyway. If you really feel like your world would fall apart without him, then there are probably personal issues you would benefit from working on before committing to any romantic relationship. If you are this afraid of a nine month relationship coming to an end, think how you would feel after a few years. That's scary. I think you need to work on yourself and being okay with being alone, for your own sake. This could be your perfect chance.

To echo a previous poster, your boyfriend's heart isn't totally in the relationship. That's absolutely nothing to do with you personally, even though it will feel like it and it may hurt like crazy. It doesn't mean that you don't have a very happy life ahead of you, and it doesn't mean that you're not a fantastic and attractive person - it just means that where he is in his life right now is not where you are in yours. And that's okay. It's nothing to do with you, so don't take it personally.

Flippyfloppy

Don't worry your friends will take you back. And when he does go, please work on feeling ok when you're alone.

Thespoofer

' Dry your eyes mate, its so hard to take but his mind has been made up, theres plenty more fish in the sea '