Will I ever find a career, given all my health issues?

Galbin · 23-07-2014 1:54pm #1

I have many great things in my life (great marriage, family, friends, lovely home etc.) and I do not take them for granted.

However, I just do not know what to do about a career and am very upset about it. I’m not sure whether this should be in jobs or personal problems, but decided to put it in here. Sorry it’s so long...

I have a circadian rhythm disorder that means I cannot do the 9-5 thing, accompanied by a host of other autoimmune conditions. So, despite optimising my care as much as possible and following an excellent diet (low sugar, high in fruit and veg, low in bad fats), I still have significant disability compared to someone else. Six months ago I was housebound, unable to do even leave the house for more than 20 minutes, and unable to walk. The doctors said I was stuck that way and there was nothing I could do. So I did a lot of research and found a new pioneering treatment. Now I am doing better and keen to succeed in life.

I used to work full-time from home as a contractor, as that worked with my health issues. However, I was made redundant from my job last year. Even then, I only ever managed well when I combined my part-time position with freelance work. Once I lost my main job that was it. There are no real career prospects in the industry I was in (I was extremely lucky to snag a position working from home and the wages were very low as a result), and I am sick of dealing with clients who don't understand that people need to be paid a living wage. I also find the business aspects of being self-employed to be very stressful, despite being an organised person and having a good accountant.

I feel like I am in a position where my ambitions and brains do not at all match up with my body. I have this active and thriving brain, but just don't have the stamina to work full-time unless I could work half the time from home.

I went to a careers counsellor in May. We did a tremendous amount of tests, looking at both my interests and abilities and also my aptitudes. At the end she suggested law or nursing. However, I don't think she fully understood my issues, aside from stating that the sleep disorder I have is classed as a disability so the college will give me "reasonable accommodations". Yes, a college can. However, I am looking to the future and a career, and it seems that most places would just choose a healthy person over me. I have even been told by some folks on here that most law firms simply would not pick me due to these issues.

Law sounds very, very interesting and I even went to a summer school law day at the local university. However, I have never heard of a part-time lawyer and every lawyer I have ever met talks about how crushing the hours are. Also, I don't think the hours are flexible unless you have your own practice. The plan with law was for me to go into academia. However, I don't think it is wise to do a course with the sole plan of going into academia. There may not be jobs there, so one needs to be able to work in the field.

Then, I always wanted to do something with health. I actually didn't realise until I did the research just how many great opportunities there are in nursing. I always thought nursing just involved working in hospitals. However, there are loads of specialities I would be interested in, such as nurse tutor, lecturer, nurse practitioners and community nursing. To do anything in health though I would need to do Chemistry and Biology this year, as I did not do these in my Leaving Cert. I would definitely have the time to study hard and get good grades in these subjects this year. I could also volunteer with the Order of Malta and a local disability group to enhance my application. However, I am told that nurse training is a nightmare that involves studying AND working full-time. They actually state on their course material that you have to have excellent health in order to be accepted. And you can't train for community nursing or research until you've done your year in the hospital after the four-year course. The other health courses I am interested in such as occupational therapy also involve studying and working full-time.

I also would love to do some type of work with people with eating disorders. I would particularly like to work with a clinical population and do research into the biochemical and societal causes of eating disorders. I'm not sure what this would involve. Some have suggested counselling, but not sure if that would equip me to work in this area. I looked into counselling psychology in Trinity and it is about 40K for three years (!), plus it again is also a full-time course with a heavy workload. I am well capable of working from home half the week, but the issue with my disabilities is that I just wouldn’t be able to go to college five days a week and also do work placements five days.

In doing some research it seems that most ppl with my issues either work in flexible industries, are self-employed or on disability. I can’t get disability as I am married to a spouse with a good job, and that isn’t what I want anyhow. So, the other options are to find something flexible.

My spouse says he is willing to work outside the home while I am a homemaker/volunteer etc. He told me to do “what makes me happy”. However, trouble is my body and mind doesn’t match up there. My mind is active and healthy, and my body isn’t where it needs to be thanks to my health problems. I did well at school and very well in college in my Psychology degree, and that was while operating below-par. So I feel like there must be a career out there where I can use my skills and brains so that when I reach 80, I feel like I have achieved something. Unfortunately, with my current situation though, there is just no way I could work or study full-time unless I could do half the work from home. I don't have the hyper energy of youth or the great health that would be needed for that. My husband has seen me struggle through the working world trying to act like I have the health of other people and he really doesn’t want me to do that. Truth be told, it was hellish trying to keep up. I would be happy to get some type of part-time career. It just seems that all the decent careers don’t tend to lend themselves to part-time training or part-time working.

So to sum it up, my options are:

1. Sign up for a *very expensive* law degree that I may not even be well enough to do this year. It is actually a three year law degree crammed into two years, according to the professor, whom I met. So it sounds like it would be tough enough for a healthy person, let alone someone like me. And then there is the worry of whether I could actually "be" a lawyer if I couldn't get into academia. It sounds very interesting though and the careers lady thought it would be perfect for my skills and abilities.

2. Spend the year doing Leaving Cert Chemistry and Biology, various volunteer positions and apply to do some health related course in the year 2015, or after I have kids. I could also do a course on running my own business as it seems that ultimately that is the only way I could work with my health issues. Employers talk about being flexible, but that generally means one can start work at 10 instead of 9 or work from home one day a week. It doesn’t generally translate to starting work later or working from home three days a week. Either way, once I have the science subjects under my belt, I’d have a lot more leeway in my career choices. This would also allow me to continue the volunteer work I am doing currently and I may be offered some paid health related work. However, will I feel like a loser not doing anything? Taking a year out when you are in your 30s seems a bit “out there”.

3. Resign myself to the fact that employers aren’t interested in having someone like me as an employee, and just stay home and be a housewife. I would find this very depressing, to be honest. I’d also like to have some of my own income.

marko747 · 23-07-2014 4:08pm

I have read through your full post, and as brisk and sharp as this may seem, TRY IT! I understand fully your predicament, but employers will take someone 'like you' on. There are anti-discriminatory laws. If you have the qualification, they have to at least give you a chance. Even if you don't find work, you can at least say you have a degree. Look at Oscoil, distance learning, which wouldn't require you to attend college full time.

And top tip, focus more on the positives. What you can do. Don't let your condition limit you. I do accept that it is very serious, I understand that, but you are a young woman, make your mark on the world. Be recognized for something other than your health problems. So when your 80, as you said, you can feel, 'yeah, I did do something meaningful with my life'.

blatantrereg · 23-07-2014 4:45pm

A law degree would be a lot of time and expense unless you can expect to become a lawyer at the end of it. I suggest you discuss with your doctor what sort of careers should be ruled out.

professore · 23-07-2014 4:51pm

Hi OP,

My wife has similar issues to you, and has found exercise, in her case running, to be a fantastic help. Her energy levels are up, she sleeps better etc. She started off very modestly a few years ago and ran a half marathon last year!

A bit off topic I know, but thought it might be of some help.

ash23 · 24-07-2014 1:38pm

OP you need to be logical about it. It's not nice to have choices taken from you as a result of a disability, however having a disability means you need to be practical. Don't ever let work compromise your health.

My advice is to do what you love but in a roundabout way if need be. So you could start with a lower level course, something manageable in the field that you enjoy. From there you can progress to a follow on course.

This will of course, take more time. You'll be taking the long route but if that is what is manageable, then that's what's needed.
There's zero point signing up for something you know you probably will struggle with to such an extent that you end up dropping out.

There are so many routes to various career paths. Try contacting the colleges and see if there are other options to working your way towards the qualifications you need.

Don't give up on a career but accept your own limitations also would be my advice. So I'd go with Option 2 in the scenarios you listed.

My sister started as a volunteer and now has a big fancy pants career in a section she loves. No degree or anything but often, vast amounts of experience can trump a degree.

JuliusCaesar · 25-07-2014 5:22pm

You might find talking with the people at National Learning Network useful.

chinacup · 27-07-2014 10:24am

Galbin wrote: »

I have many great things in my life (great marriage, family, friends, lovely home etc.) and I do not take them for granted.

However, I just do not know what to do about a career and am very upset about it. I’m not sure whether this should be in jobs or personal problems, but decided to put it in here. Sorry it’s so long...

I have a circadian rhythm disorder that means I cannot do the 9-5 thing, accompanied by a host of other autoimmune conditions. So, despite optimising my care as much as possible and following an excellent diet (low sugar, high in fruit and veg, low in bad fats), I still have significant disability compared to someone else. Six months ago I was housebound, unable to do even leave the house for more than 20 minutes, and unable to walk. The doctors said I was stuck that way and there was nothing I could do. So I did a lot of research and found a new pioneering treatment. Now I am doing better and keen to succeed in life.

I used to work full-time from home as a contractor, as that worked with my health issues. However, I was made redundant from my job last year. Even then, I only ever managed well when I combined my part-time position with freelance work. Once I lost my main job that was it. There are no real career prospects in the industry I was in (I was extremely lucky to snag a position working from home and the wages were very low as a result), and I am sick of dealing with clients who don't understand that people need to be paid a living wage. I also find the business aspects of being self-employed to be very stressful, despite being an organised person and having a good accountant.

I feel like I am in a position where my ambitions and brains do not at all match up with my body. I have this active and thriving brain, but just don't have the stamina to work full-time unless I could work half the time from home.

I went to a careers counsellor in May. We did a tremendous amount of tests, looking at both my interests and abilities and also my aptitudes. At the end she suggested law or nursing. However, I don't think she fully understood my issues, aside from stating that the sleep disorder I have is classed as a disability so the college will give me "reasonable accommodations". Yes, a college can. However, I am looking to the future and a career, and it seems that most places would just choose a healthy person over me. I have even been told by some folks on here that most law firms simply would not pick me due to these issues.

Law sounds very, very interesting and I even went to a summer school law day at the local university. However, I have never heard of a part-time lawyer and every lawyer I have ever met talks about how crushing the hours are. Also, I don't think the hours are flexible unless you have your own practice. The plan with law was for me to go into academia. However, I don't think it is wise to do a course with the sole plan of going into academia. There may not be jobs there, so one needs to be able to work in the field.

Then, I always wanted to do something with health. I actually didn't realise until I did the research just how many great opportunities there are in nursing. I always thought nursing just involved working in hospitals. However, there are loads of specialities I would be interested in, such as nurse tutor, lecturer, nurse practitioners and community nursing. To do anything in health though I would need to do Chemistry and Biology this year, as I did not do these in my Leaving Cert. I would definitely have the time to study hard and get good grades in these subjects this year. I could also volunteer with the Order of Malta and a local disability group to enhance my application. However, I am told that nurse training is a nightmare that involves studying AND working full-time. They actually state on their course material that you have to have excellent health in order to be accepted. And you can't train for community nursing or research until you've done your year in the hospital after the four-year course. The other health courses I am interested in such as occupational therapy also involve studying and working full-time.

I also would love to do some type of work with people with eating disorders. I would particularly like to work with a clinical population and do research into the biochemical and societal causes of eating disorders. I'm not sure what this would involve. Some have suggested counselling, but not sure if that would equip me to work in this area. I looked into counselling psychology in Trinity and it is about 40K for three years (!), plus it again is also a full-time course with a heavy workload. I am well capable of working from home half the week, but the issue with my disabilities is that I just wouldn’t be able to go to college five days a week and also do work placements five days.

In doing some research it seems that most ppl with my issues either work in flexible industries, are self-employed or on disability. I can’t get disability as I am married to a spouse with a good job, and that isn’t what I want anyhow. So, the other options are to find something flexible.

My spouse says he is willing to work outside the home while I am a homemaker/volunteer etc. He told me to do “what makes me happy”. However, trouble is my body and mind doesn’t match up there. My mind is active and healthy, and my body isn’t where it needs to be thanks to my health problems. I did well at school and very well in college in my Psychology degree, and that was while operating below-par. So I feel like there must be a career out there where I can use my skills and brains so that when I reach 80, I feel like I have achieved something. Unfortunately, with my current situation though, there is just no way I could work or study full-time unless I could do half the work from home. I don't have the hyper energy of youth or the great health that would be needed for that. My husband has seen me struggle through the working world trying to act like I have the health of other people and he really doesn’t want me to do that. Truth be told, it was hellish trying to keep up. I would be happy to get some type of part-time career. It just seems that all the decent careers don’t tend to lend themselves to part-time training or part-time working.

So to sum it up, my options are:

1. Sign up for a *very expensive* law degree that I may not even be well enough to do this year. It is actually a three year law degree crammed into two years, according to the professor, whom I met. So it sounds like it would be tough enough for a healthy person, let alone someone like me. And then there is the worry of whether I could actually "be" a lawyer if I couldn't get into academia. It sounds very interesting though and the careers lady thought it would be perfect for my skills and abilities.

2. Spend the year doing Leaving Cert Chemistry and Biology, various volunteer positions and apply to do some health related course in the year 2015, or after I have kids. I could also do a course on running my own business as it seems that ultimately that is the only way I could work with my health issues. Employers talk about being flexible, but that generally means one can start work at 10 instead of 9 or work from home one day a week. It doesn’t generally translate to starting work later or working from home three days a week. Either way, once I have the science subjects under my belt, I’d have a lot more leeway in my career choices. This would also allow me to continue the volunteer work I am doing currently and I may be offered some paid health related work. However, will I feel like a loser not doing anything? Taking a year out when you are in your 30s seems a bit “out there”.

3. Resign myself to the fact that employers aren’t interested in having someone like me as an employee, and just stay home and be a housewife. I would find this very depressing, to be honest. I’d also like to have some of my own income.

First of all I'm sorry to hear about the stress you are going through in trying to find the right career. Its stressful enough for a healthy person trying to decide but I think your ambition outweighs a lot of healthy people too so you are going to be fine. Have you contacted the access officers of different universities and explained your situation? I've found them to be so resourceful and give great advice so make sure to have a good long chat with them if you haven't already. Also the other thing that sprung to mind is the college of naturopathic medicine which may or may not be up your alley at all. I know you can do your degree through one weekend a week/month and the workload is quite manageable. Also the alternative medicine industry is booming so if you're smart there is money to be made.

The other thing is doing a course part time? Have you searched the qualifax website upside down? Health is so broad there has to be other ways for you to enter a good career. Don't let the career guidance counselor limit your options to two that's bizarre! I would ring them back up and say you weren't really any better off from the session and ask to explore your options in more detail because it should really be opening up your options not leaving you feeling limited. I had a similar experience with a career guidance counselor and she really set me on the wrong path. Sometimes it takes a couple of visits before you get somewhere!

MouseTail · 28-07-2014 9:03am

Both those career paths identified by the Career Counsellor require painstaking training and high barriers to entry. I don't think she took your own barriers and health issues into account at all.
What is it about law and nursing that you are suited to? Working with people, advocating etc. What is your existing skill set, passion and education, what have you worked at before?

Galbin · 01-08-2014 2:19pm

blatantrereg wrote: »

A law degree would be a lot of time and expense unless you can expect to become a lawyer at the end of it.

My thoughts exactly. I feel it is too risky to go down that road unless I could guarantee a job as a lecturer at the end, and I of course can't.

professore wrote: »

My wife has similar issues to you, and has found exercise, in her case running, to be a fantastic help. Her energy levels are up, she sleeps better etc. She started off very modestly a few years ago and ran a half marathon last year!

Does she have a circadian rhythm disorder also? Did the running help with that? Thanks!

ash23 wrote: »

OP you need to be logical about it. It's not nice to have choices taken from you as a result of a disability, however having a disability means you need to be practical. Don't ever let work compromise your health.

My advice is to do what you love but in a roundabout way if need be. So you could start with a lower level course, something manageable in the field that you enjoy. From there you can progress to a follow on course.

This will of course, take more time. You'll be taking the long route but if that is what is manageable, then that's what's needed.
There's zero point signing up for something you know you probably will struggle with to such an extent that you end up dropping out.

My sister started as a volunteer and now has a big fancy pants career in a section she loves. No degree or anything but often, vast amounts of experience can trump a degree.

I agree with you there. Back in the day I did used to let work compromise my health and lived like a zombie for years doing the 9-5 thing. Flexible working changed all that. It's just a pity the industry I ended up in is a dead-end.

I am considering signing up for an evening course in counselling to see if I like that. Maybe volunteering is indeed the way to go, as it seems like networking is so much more important in Ireland than it is in other parts of Europe (where I previously worked).

chinacup wrote: »

First of all I'm sorry to hear about the stress you are going through in trying to find the right career. Its stressful enough for a healthy person trying to decide but I think your ambition outweighs a lot of healthy people too so you are going to be fine. Have you contacted the access officers of different universities and explained your situation? I've found them to be so resourceful and give great advice so make sure to have a good long chat with them if you haven't already. Also the other thing that sprung to mind is the college of naturopathic medicine which may or may not be up your alley at all. I know you can do your degree through one weekend a week/month and the workload is quite manageable. Also the alternative medicine industry is booming so if you're smart there is money to be made.

The other thing is doing a course part time? Have you searched the qualifax website upside down? Health is so broad there has to be other ways for you to enter a good career. Don't let the career guidance counselor limit your options to two that's bizarre! I would ring them back up and say you weren't really any better off from the session and ask to explore your options in more detail because it should really be opening up your options not leaving you feeling limited. I had a similar experience with a career guidance counselor and she really set me on the wrong path. Sometimes it takes a couple of visits before you get somewhere!

Thanks for your kind comments. I never realised I was ambitious, but I guess I am. I just feel like a loser most of the time, as I am surrounded by all these successful folks.

Is the alternative medicine industry really booming?! I thought it wasn't so popular in Ireland...

I do feel the counsellor didn't get it. I felt like she was so keen to get me into a career that would suit my ambitions and intelligence that she didn't really account for my health issues. For example, she talked about people finishing work at 5, whereas my issue is that I need to start work *later*, not that I need to finish early or on time.

If you don't want to go into detail here, could you pm me about your experience with the career counsellor?

Thanks for the qualifax info!

MouseTail wrote: »

Both those career paths identified by the Career Counsellor require painstaking training and high barriers to entry. I don't think she took your own barriers and health issues into account at all.
What is it about law and nursing that you are suited to? Working with people, advocating etc. What is your existing skill set, passion and education, what have you worked at before?

I agree about my health issues. Law and health work were both suggested for me due to my love of research, my strong verbal skills, my work history of advocacy and my interest in both areas. I have a degree in Psychology. I would love to work with people with eating disorders if I were to go down the psychology route.

MouseTail · 01-08-2014 3:28pm

Sounds like research might suit, something like this, but on a freelance basis http://www.activelink.ie/content/vacancies/health/16735
Bodywhys are always looking for volunteers. http://www.bodywhys.ie/getInvolved/

Galbin · 07-08-2014 10:36am

MouseTail wrote: »

Sounds like research might suit, something like this, but on a freelance basis http://www.activelink.ie/content/vacancies/health/16735
Bodywhys are always looking for volunteers. http://www.bodywhys.ie/getInvolved/

Yes. Surely one needs a social policy qualification for that though. I find it very tough the way we need a certificate for everything in Ireland. My psychology degree opened a variety of doors for me when I lived in the UK, and that was enough. Whereas Ireland is so specialised...

Cuddlesworth · 07-08-2014 10:52am

Galbin wrote: »

Yes. Surely one needs a social policy qualification for that though. I find it very tough the way we need a certificate for everything in Ireland. My psychology degree opened a variety of doors for me when I lived in the UK, and that was enough. Whereas Ireland is so specialised...

Are you deciding that before applying for the role? Research has shown males are more likely to get better roles simply because they are more likely to apply for them. A male will apply for a job in which they meeting 50%+ of the criteria. Whereas women will only apply when they match over 90%.

There is no harm in trying.

ShowMeTheCash · 07-08-2014 4:02pm

Can I ask, when did you complete your Psychology degree? And where?
What work did you do free-lance, was it from your home?

Also when did you get diagnoised with your condition?

If your health was not an issue what woud you want to do?

Galbin · 11-08-2014 3:33pm

ShowMeTheCash wrote: »

Can I ask, when did you complete your Psychology degree? And where?
What work did you do free-lance, was it from your home?

Also when did you get diagnoised with your condition?

If your health was not an issue what woud you want to do?

I graduated from my Psychology degree in UCD in 2003. My father had just died and I was clueless about life and didn't understand at all about how the world of work operated. So I spent time teaching for a year and then went and did a useless masters in the arts field. Luckily, given it was in the UK, I was then able to find work afterwards in the NFP sector. I had been doing some volunteer work in that sector and loved it. However, that is when I should have gone on to further my Psychology education. Then, life intervened and I developed an eating disorder. I came back to Ireland and was unemployed for a year, finding that work in the NFP sector was much harder to come by. I went to so many interviews, but was later told that I was getting bumped off the spots because I didn't have a social work or social care qualification.

I then fell into a NFP job that utilised my writing skills. I did this job and combined it with freelance journalism on the side. However, freelance journalism is a dead industry. I have many friends in it and they are all leaving in droves. I cannot make enough to sustain myself on freelance clients alone, and, I have no desire to continue to try and work in the sinking filed that is journalism nowadays. Sadly, there is just way too much competition from writers in Asia who will literally work for $10 a day.

If I had no health issues, I'd train to be a doctor.

The bladder condition I have was diagnosed in 2013, and that is quite limiting, but someday could hopefully resolve. I was only diagnosed with the sleep disorder this year and that is incurable. I had had it undiagnosed for many, many years. Given my work from home situation though, I was able to start work late and finish late and so my condition really didn't have a negative impact on my life. Now that I am looking for a proper career I see how limiting it truly is.

The sad thing is that if I had a physical disability I would have allowances made for me. When it comes to sleep disorders, employers are supposed to make "reasonable accommatations", but the truth is they generally just think you are lazy and don't make accommadations much. I've been told that the only routes for careers that don't result in constant sleep deprivation are being self employed or working in academia. I've also been told that you either choose between having a career and being exhausted all the time or having no career and feeling rested. Lovely choices there.

It's like people like myself are maybe meant to have part-time jobs, but not really careers. I am such a hard-worker though and I am told all the time that I am smart too. I truly loved college, for example. So I want a career so badly.

ShowMeTheCash · 12-08-2014 3:47pm

Galbin wrote: »

I graduated from my Psychology degree in UCD in 2003. My father had just died and I was clueless about life and didn't understand at all about how the world of work operated. So I spent time teaching for a year and then went and did a useless masters in the arts field. Luckily, given it was in the UK, I was then able to find work afterwards in the NFP sector. I had been doing some volunteer work in that sector and loved it. However, that is when I should have gone on to further my Psychology education. Then, life intervened and I developed an eating disorder. I came back to Ireland and was unemployed for a year, finding that work in the NFP sector was much harder to come by. I went to so many interviews, but was later told that I was getting bumped off the spots because I didn't have a social work or social care qualification.

I then fell into a NFP job that utilised my writing skills. I did this job and combined it with freelance journalism on the side. However, freelance journalism is a dead industry. I have many friends in it and they are all leaving in droves. I cannot make enough to sustain myself on freelance clients alone, and, I have no desire to continue to try and work in the sinking filed that is journalism nowadays. Sadly, there is just way too much competition from writers in Asia who will literally work for $10 a day.

If I had no health issues, I'd train to be a doctor.

The bladder condition I have was diagnosed in 2013, and that is quite limiting, but someday could hopefully resolve. I was only diagnosed with the sleep disorder this year and that is incurable. I had had it undiagnosed for many, many years. Given my work from home situation though, I was able to start work late and finish late and so my condition really didn't have a negative impact on my life. Now that I am looking for a proper career I see how limiting it truly is.

The sad thing is that if I had a physical disability I would have allowances made for me. When it comes to sleep disorders, employers are supposed to make "reasonable accommatations", but the truth is they generally just think you are lazy and don't make accommadations much. I've been told that the only routes for careers that don't result in constant sleep deprivation are being self employed or working in academia. I've also been told that you either choose between having a career and being exhausted all the time or having no career and feeling rested. Lovely choices there.

It's like people like myself are maybe meant to have part-time jobs, but not really careers. I am such a hard-worker though and I am told all the time that I am smart too. I truly loved college, for example. So I want a career so badly.

I guess no one can really speak for you, you yourself can only know what you are physically capable of doing.

But I am afraid there are certain inalienable truths we sometimes needs to face.

The truth is life is not fair!
I think people make the mistake that life is suppose to be fair, it's not!

If you have a serious sleep disorder you will be limited to certain roles as you could potenitally be a danger to other people, it may not be fair but is at least understandable.

Can I ask what the sleep disorder is?

All I can perhaps add is, life is long we tend to get stuck in our own perspetive and cannot see what the world has on offer for us, maybe try and change that perspetive you may find where you are suppose to be.

G Luck and stay possitive.

Galbin · 13-08-2014 12:03pm

Hi, ShowMeTheCash

First of all, I want to say thanks to you and everyone here. I really appreciate all these anonymous strangers taking time out of their lives to help me.

Anyway, I have been seeing a therapist who specialises in working with people with chronic illnesses and she made the very valid point that if I don't make a move towards something I will remain stuck and even more upset about my situation.

I have delayed sleep phase disorder. Technically it's more of a circadian rhythm disorder as I can sleep fine if allowed to sleep on my own clock. Anyway, for once, the Wikipedia entry on it is very accurate.

"Delayed sleep-phase disorder (DSPD), also known as delayed sleep-phase syndrome (DSPS) or delayed sleep-phase type (DSPT), is a circadian rhythm sleep disorder affecting the timing of sleep, peak period of alertness, the core body temperature rhythm, hormonal and other daily rhythms, compared to the general population and relative to societal requirements. People with DSPD generally fall asleep some hours after midnight and have difficulty waking up in the morning.

Affected people often report that while they do not get to sleep until the early morning, they do fall asleep around the same time every day. Unless they have another sleep disorder such as sleep apnea in addition to DSPD, patients can sleep well and have a normal need for sleep. However, they find it very difficult to wake up in time for a typical school or work day. If, however, they are allowed to follow their own schedules, e.g. sleeping from 3 a.m. to noon (03:00 to 12:00), they sleep soundly, awaken spontaneously, and do not experience excessive daytime sleepiness.

Lack of public awareness of the disorder contributes to the difficulties experienced by people with DSPD, who are commonly stereotyped as undisciplined or lazy. Parents may be chastised for not giving their children acceptable sleep patterns, and schools and workplaces rarely tolerate chronically late, absent, or sleepy students and workers, failing to see them as having a chronic illness.

By the time DSPD sufferers receive an accurate diagnosis, they often have been misdiagnosed or labelled as lazy and incompetent workers or students for years.

People with DSPD who force themselves to live on a normal 9-5 day "are not often successful and may develop physical and psychological complaints during waking hours, i.e. sleepiness, fatigue, headache, decreased appetite, or depressed mood. Patients with circadian rhythm sleep disorders often have difficulty maintaining ordinary social lives, and some of them lose their jobs or fail to attend school."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_sleep_phase_disorder

I am on melatonin for it, but the general attitude from doctors towards it is to "find a flexible job" or just accept that you can't work or will be permanently jet-lagged in a normal job. Since it was only identified in 1981, research is still very new in the field. There is a new drug just out that I am going to ask my doctor out, but a) it is very new so no real long-term studies on it and b) not sure if it would be available in Europe yet.

Will I ever find a career, given all my health issues?

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