Stuff in laws say and do

DHFrame

I'll start with a few.

(Referring to me working for myself as a Graphic Designer for the past 6 years I've known them) -
MIL "Whatever it is your at upstairs I couldn't do it. You need to get out and breath some air."

(After working to a deadline one day)
MIL "How do you sit upstairs like that?"

(Home Made Carrot and Apple Juice.)
MIL 'What's that ****e your drinking?' FIL takes a sip - 'Jesus Wow, that's ****ing disgusting. Your not right in the head!'

(After a few hours of shovelling gravel I offer FIL very cold water.)
'No Thanks, I don't drink Water'

(I offer MIL some Coleslaw. "Would you like some Coleslaw?")
"What is it?"

(In my clearest English accent I say to my MIL - "Oh, my car tax is due as well")
Turns to my Wife and says "What did he say?"

(After buying a 2006 BMW this year for 5k)
MIL What's that. Won the lotto?

(This is an ongoing thing - In Laws ring in the middle of the day while my wife is at work all day everyday for the past 10 years, Mon - Friday)
MIL "I cant get hold of ((my wife)) do you know where she is?"

(A few days before Wife's Birthday - SIL rings me to ask something)
"What have you got her?" - "I am getting her a surprise trip to Germany" - "Brilliant I will put in half, we can say it's from the both of us"

(Call from SIL)
Hi, Can you get ((wife)) to ring me please. Hangs up.

(Call from SIL)
Hi, Are you busy? - Yes I am working - Oh right.... I was wondering if you can come collect my car (25 miles away) and take it to the NCT for me (25 miles back) - Why didn't you book it in near your house. - I like it down home better.

(Call from MIL on her mobile)
Hi, the phone isn't working here. - Oh right. Is there a dial tone? - No, when I try and go to Donedeal it doesn't work. - On The Internet? - No. The phone thingy on my phone..... I direct her to the Internet router - Are the lights on? No. Ok you need to restart it. You Which? The white box thingy? Oh I put it upstairs in a box because it annoys me.

(MIL Referring to my beard growth)
You need to go on 10 Years Younger. A beard is disgusting.

(MIL Referring to 2 ton of earth which I dug out the day earlier.)
Oh Lovely - Jesus ((my wife)) is such a great worker.

(MIL in kitchen talking, with me and 'her' SIL)
Would you like to be a builder? - I answer, no not really - MIL says ''No he prefers to sit upstairs all day."

(I overhear SIL talking to my wife about the Penny's bag I brought back with a few T- Shirts in)
Have you seen that bag? eh? lol.. Its full of T-Shirts? You're too good to him.

(Whilst giving a lift to MIL in my 2006 BMW)
"I heard on the radio they are doing a recall." Who? "BMW..." Oh right. "Nothing but ****e. I don't know why anyone would buy one of these." I replied, Most car companies would do some recalls. "Nope....." I said, Toyota did one a while back, remember. ''Yeah - But that's because there a good car."

Note: I am sorry - But this is fcukin designed to rise me. It has to be........

This is just the recent stuff I can come up with...

Tilly

What exactly is the problem you need help with?

DHFrame

Tilly wrote: »

What exactly is the problem you need help with?

What? I don't need help. I am sharing....

Admin. Does this need moving somewhere else?

Moving thread ...