Incredibly unhappy at work

Milky Moo

I am 27 and I feel like I have just fallen into my career path. I was made redundant in June but luckily found a new position, been here 6 weeks and to say I hate it would be an understatement, it is a professional role which I have a Masters in and have been told by previously colleagues I am good at.

I have no interest in the field or the organisation of this new role,(red flag I know but I needed a job) the organisation is directionless and seems to have come down to me to fix all their issues. I have worked with clients before who I haven't exactly been enthusiastic about but I got the job done. The boss basically told me since I got here I have added nothing to the role, moved my probationary period from 3 to 6 months. I feel like this company has targets and expects this new person, me, to come in and reinvent the wheel. Also the boss is not the type of guy you could sit down with and work through these issues.

In my previous position there were aspects I truly enjoyed which are non existent in this position. In 6 weeks I have turned from being a happy chatty person, who wasn't completely confident in my abilities but had a can do attitude to some one who cries before work, has zero confidence in being able to do anything and it is all I talk about. I feel like I spent 4 years in college and it must have been a fluke, from working here I feel like I am incapable of anything and it has even drawn my intelligence into question.

I can't keep going like this. I think a good first step would be to do some career guidance. I have done some research and the fees, in the Dublin area, seem to range wildly between 80e to 600e. I would greatly appreciate some advice on this.

Tokyo

With all due respect OP, I can certainly see your boss's point of view in changing your probationary period form 3 to 6 months - by your own admittance you have walked into this job with no interest in the field, no interest in the organisation, and zero enthusiasm overall. Your boss is right to be concerned, and it's good that you recognise this in yourself too.

I'm not saying this to get you down even further, but in a lot of ways you are taking your unhappiness with your career path out on your current job, and that is quite unfair to your boss and your colleagues, and your clients. You can still do your job to the best of your abilities, while exploring other avenues at the same time in terms of retraining in another field, or seeing what courses are available that you might be interested in.

I can't help you with the career guidance aspect - I'm sure that others will be along shortly with experience in this area - but I do think you need to step up your game at work ASAP, otherwise you'll be sitting at home on the dole instead, but still faced with the same problems in what to do next with your life.

Dial Hard

Jesus, you're me three years ago. Get out of there now, take it from me. Things won't improve and the longer you stay, the harder it will be to move on; you will kill yourself thinking "But what if the next place is even worse???" It won't be, believe me.

I spent over two years in a job that I literally loathed every single second of. They are two years of my life I'm never getting back. Like you, I had been made redundant from my previous role. Like you, I knew at the interview stage that I wasn't going to like the role, but, like you, I needed the job. So, in spite of my misgivings, I took it. And I spent over two years in abject misery. I'd bounce in the door on Friday evenings delighted to be out of the place for the weekend, but by Saturday morning I'd already be dreading going back on Monday. I used to dream I was at work at least three or four nights a week, so by the time I went in the next morning, it felt like I'd never left. It turned me into a horrible, negative person and I took a lot of that out on my (now ex) husband. It wasn't the only issue in our marriage, but I 100% firmly believe that if I'd just left that fcuking job sooner, I'd still be married. That's a lot to have to deal with, I can tell you.

Oh, and like you, my manager extended my probationary period from 3 months to 6.

I don't know what finally made me crack - there was no big incident or drama - I just realised one morning that I couldn't physically do this anymore, so I handed in my notice, with absolutely nothing else lined up. This was in 2011, when the job market was absolutely dismal, and everyone (bar my dad) told me I was mad, but the sense of relief once I'd handed in my notice was almost physical. I never, ever looked back, and the only regret I have about the whole thing now is that I didn't do it two poxy years earlier.

Get out of there, OP. No job is worth it.

Milky Moo

mike_ie wrote: »

With all due respect OP, I can certainly see your boss's point of view in changing your probationary period form 3 to 6 months - by your own admittance you have walked into this job with no interest in the field, no interest in the organisation, and zero enthusiasm overall. Your boss is right to be concerned, and it's good that you recognise this in yourself too.

I'm not saying this to get you down even further, but in a lot of ways you are taking your unhappiness with your career path out on your current job, and that is quite unfair to your boss and your colleagues, and your clients. You can still do your job to the best of your abilities, while exploring other avenues at the same time in terms of retraining in another field, or seeing what courses are available that you might be interested in.

I can't help you with the career guidance aspect - I'm sure that others will be along shortly with experience in this area - but I do think you need to step up your game at work ASAP, otherwise you'll be sitting at home on the dole instead, but still faced with the same problems in what to do next with your life.

Firstly I have no clients, secondly even with feeling bad about myself and my abilities I can see I have made positive changes and progress in this role and have hit targets set out for me, there has never been acknowledgment of this though.

It is an incredibly small org and I have no other colleagues, I come in everyday with a cheery attitude, despite how I feel on the inside, so to say I am possibly dragging down the organisation because of the above issues would be false.

Milky Moo

Sorry just to add, my boss has it set up so all my work emails go to his email address, when I make a phone he listens in and every time he gives me a critique on what I should have said or what I said wrong according to him. These are not important calls either. Also at the start I was confused over the number on my payslip and asked him to clarify, you swear I asked whether food goes in your mouth. There is no asking questions of him be they big or small, he assumes when you ask a question you must be an idiot for not immediately knowing the answer.

Milky Moo

Dial Hard wrote: »

Jesus, you're me three years ago. Get out of there now, take it from me. Things won't improve and the longer you stay, the harder it will be to move on; you will kill yourself thinking "But what if the next place is even worse???" It won't be, believe me.

I spent over two years in a job that I literally loathed every single second of. They are two years of my life I'm never getting back. Like you, I had been made redundant from my previous role. Like you, I knew at the interview stage that I wasn't going to like the role, but, like you, I needed the job. So, in spite of my misgivings, I took it. And I spent over two years in abject misery. I'd bounce in the door on Friday evenings delighted to be out of the place for the weekend, but by Saturday morning I'd already be dreading going back on Monday. I used to dream I was at work at least three or four nights a week, so by the time I went in the next morning, it felt like I'd never left. It turned me into a horrible, negative person and I took a lot of that out on my (now ex) husband. It wasn't the only issue in our marriage, but I 100% firmly believe that if I'd just left that fcuking job sooner, I'd still be married. That's a lot to have to deal with, I can tell you.

Oh, and like you, my manager extended my probationary period from 3 months to 6.

I don't know what finally made me crack - there was no big incident or drama - I just realised one morning that I couldn't physically do this anymore, so I handed in my notice, with absolutely nothing else lined up. This was in 2011, when the job market was absolutely dismal, and everyone (bar my dad) told me I was mad, but the sense of relief once I'd handed in my notice was almost physical. I never, ever looked back, and the only regret I have about the whole thing now is that I didn't do it two poxy years earlier.

Get out of there, OP. No job is worth it.

I am hoping to do some guidance counselling before I go so at least I have some direction. It is really good to hear your story, I do feel like you did on a Friday evening and worry what if the next place is worse!

I am coming from a position where my coworkers were incredibly supportive and I could work hard but have a laugh. Here it is just a drudge from one hour to the next.

Jenneke87

Milky Moo wrote: »

Sorry just to add, my boss has it set up so all my work emails go to his email address, when I make a phone he listens in and every time he gives me a critique on what I should have said or what I said wrong according to him. These are not important calls either. Also at the start I was confused over the number on my payslip and asked him to clarify, you swear I asked whether food goes in your mouth. There is no asking questions of him be they big or small, he assumes when you ask a question you must be an idiot for not immediately knowing the answer.

This sounds like he's deliberately setting you up for failure and gathering evidence by keeping copies of your emails and listening in to your phonecalls(and possibly recording them) so that when the time comes, he can get rid of you with a mountain of "evidence" against you while gleefully ignoring all the good things you've done. This sounds very concerning to me.

Milky Moo

Jenneke87 wrote: »

This sounds like he's deliberately setting you up for failure and gathering evidence by keeping copies of your emails and listening in to your phonecalls(and possibly recording them) so that when the time comes, he can get rid of you with a mountain of "evidence" against you while gleefully ignoring all the good things you've done. This sounds very concerning to me.

I never even considered that but it completely makes sense. I often joke I could give him a unicorn and he would shrug and find another issue with my work.

Rubberchikken

Tbh your boss sounds crap.
You're hired and no matter what qualifications/experience he houkd be encouraging you to do the best you can.
I probably sound v innocent but i can't see the logic in hiring someone and them treating them like you're being treated.

Leave immediately if you can't take anymore. If you can bear to stick ot out while looking for another job then do that.
Good luck