Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Should I contact him?

Options
  • 22-07-2014 1:07am
    #1
    Bidsout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭


    Hi I recently spilt up with my boyfriend of 5 years and frankly I've been in relationships back to back sick I was 20. I'm now 34 and on a recent night out I got extremely drunk and hooked up with a guy who was very much younger than me i'm ashamed to admit it but he is only 21. This is not something I'm proud of and to be honest if I wasn't so drunk I know this would have never happened. Okay so my main problem is that we live in a very small town and im likely to see this guy out again and I cant actually remember everything, I think we may have done it although I had a flashback where I think I asked him to leave maybe before we had finished i dont know really, this is very embarrassing to say the least let alone the big age gap. i just feel awful.

    So my question is should I message this guy and just apologise for being drunk and leave it at that or not contact him at all and absolutely die of embarrassment the next time I see him? Some of you may think this isnt a big thing but for me it is I'm usually a quiet and reserved and shy type of girl. I'm totally mortified that this even happened.. any advice is very much appreciated
    Tagged:


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    I don't know for sure.

    Maybe a quick text saying apologies if I was a little off with you that night I was influenced by alcohol?

    Or you could leave it. I would not worry about it.

    But I would look into maybe stopping drinking.


  • Options
    #3
    Tilly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,987 ✭✭✭Tilly


    It's not embarrassing, it's dangerous. Not being able to remember having sex is quite worrying. You should probably look at your drinking habits.

    As for the guy. Don't stress and don't contact him unless you want a story with him.


  • Options
    #4
    droidman123
    Registered Users Posts: 5,435 ✭✭✭droidman123


    Embaressment could be the least of your worries.If you had drunken sex with a guy you should maybe be more worried about an std.


  • Options
    #5
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    I also second the fact that your behavior is dangerous.


  • Options
    #6
    alilconfused
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭alilconfused


    Hey,

    I think a quick apology text. Nothing heavy just a quick 'sorry for being so drunk the other night, it's out of character'. Then at least the next time you see him you'll have less embarrassment.

    Don't beat yourself up over this (or let others here make you feel worse). Live and learn!


    Take care


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    I wouldn't bother texting him. It's over now and there's no chance of it happening again so just leave it be. Last thing you want to be doing is texting him; he may think you're trying to strike up conversation again. If you see him out again say a polite hello and let that be that.


  • Options
    #8
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    It really depends ... I have never really been a drinker and I don't understand not being able to remember things accurately.

    You could be making things worse. You don't actually remember what happened. But you think you asked him to leave ....so it stands to reason you did not want to go through with it. He is a lot younger and maybe thats why you feel a little worried for him now thinking he may take it hard.

    I would consider saying I apologize for any offense while I was drunk all the best.

    Or Anna080's approach could be better. I would not worry too much.

    But I would worry about your alcohol habits.

    It is not a nice way to behave.


  • Options
    #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    What's with all the posts about "drinking habits"? The OP says she got drunk once. Maybe she has done it more than that, but there's no evidence of it in her post and jumping to conclusions like that is at best unhelpful, but really quite ridiculous. In fact her post suggests she's fretting about it because it's not usual for her.

    OP, I don't think you should sweat this, or do anything about it. It's not that big a deal, plenty of people do it and worse and it was a on-off. You really have nothing to be worrying about unless you had unprotected sex, in which case a quick test will put your mind at ease about the only real potential issue about the whole incident. The age thing is a red herring, you're both adults and did nothing wrong.


  • Options
    #10
    Bidsout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭Bidsout


    Thanks guys all your comments are valid all of which I know too well. Thanks for the feedback I think I'll go with anna080 on this one.


  • Options
    #11
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    Oh yeah definitely leave it


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    Guessed wrote: »
    What's with all the posts about "drinking habits"? The OP says she got drunk once. Maybe she has done it more than that, but there's no evidence of it in her post and jumping to conclusions like that is at best unhelpful, but really quite ridiculous. In fact her post suggests she's fretting about it because it's not usual for her.

    OP, I don't think you should sweat this, or do anything about it. It's not that big a deal, plenty of people do it and worse and it was a on-off. You really have nothing to be worrying about unless you had unprotected sex, in which case a quick test will put your mind at ease about the only real potential issue about the whole incident. The age thing is a red herring, you're both adults and did nothing wrong.

    I hate to play devils advocate here, but a pregnancy or std test?


Advertisement