Arguments.

FullblownRose · 21-07-2014 4:34pm #1

Do you think things that are said in ''the heat of the moment'' are not genuinely felt or meant, and are thrown at the other person in order to 'win' an argument?

I find that difficult to believe. I don't think, for example, you can be a racist when cross with your friend who is a different colour, and want to upset them to 'win' an argument, so you throw racist insults at them,but normally you don't have a racist opinion of them when you're not arguing.

No Pants · 21-07-2014 4:36pm

I believe the exact opposite; what gets thrown out and later gets claimed to be a remark made "in the heat of the moment" is what the person really thinks.

wazky · 21-07-2014 4:38pm

I think people's real side come out in argument, so if you do racially abuse someone in an argument you are probably just a plain ol racist.

solomafioso · 21-07-2014 4:38pm

Veiled 'I said something in the heat of the moment, and I want my internet buddies to back me up' thread. :pac:

frag420 · 21-07-2014 4:40pm

Anyone that throws a racist remark at their friend in the heat of the moment or not just to get the upper hand in an argument then you are a c*nt,a scummy racist c*nt!!

Lapin · 21-07-2014 4:41pm

If there's drink involved - The truth comes out when the spirit goes in.

wp_rathead · 21-07-2014 4:41pm

FullblownRose wrote: »

Do you think things that are said in ''the heat of the moment'' are not genuinely felt or meant, and are thrown at the other person in order to 'win' an argument?

I find that difficult to believe. I don't think, for example, you can be a racist when cross with your friend who is a different colour, and want to upset them to 'win' an argument, so you throw racist insults at them,but normally you don't have a racist opinion of them when you're not arguing.

hmm very specific example there Rose

SEPT 23 1989 · 21-07-2014 4:44pm

Were you wearing your full Klan robes at the time?

gugleguy · 21-07-2014 4:45pm

Personally I believe that there is connection between ’heat of the moment’ and ’true flying colours’ . Like certain the ex minister in the government who performed his now famous rant against Pat Carey on prime time in the dying days of the FF administration.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

No Pants · 21-07-2014 4:48pm

FullblownRose wrote: »

I don't think, for example, you can be a racist when cross with your friend who is a different colour, and want to upset them to 'win' an argument, so you throw racist insults at them,but normally you don't have a racist opinion of them when you're not arguing.

Don't worry about it. If they get upset over whatever you just said, hit them with the "It's political correctness gone mad!" card. Instant winner.

Awkward Badger · 21-07-2014 4:49pm

Its not what people genuinely think nor is it a good gauge of it. In fact its the opposite imo. You do, say and think things you normally don't because you're angry and not able to think clearly and just reacting in an offensive way.

21-07-2014 4:51pm

Both sides are possible.

Yes, I'm that person.

Sometimes the truth will come out, and sometimes it will be something that the person saying it knows will really hurt the other person. Like thinking someone is gorgeous but knowing they're unhappy with how they look so telling them they're ugly just to hurt them.

Wanting to really hurt someone is pretty nasty, I'd nearly prefer the person who had just held the truth in for so long than the person who tries to hurt you.

Racist slurs though - that's just the mark of a prick.

Hotfail.com · 21-07-2014 4:57pm

FullblownRose wrote: »

Do you think things that are said in ''the heat of the moment'' are not genuinely felt or meant, and are thrown at the other person in order to 'win' an argument?

I find that difficult to believe. I don't think, for example, you can be a racist when cross with your friend who is a different colour, and want to upset them to 'win' an argument, so you throw racist insults at them,but normally you don't have a racist opinion of them when you're not arguing.

How on earth would anyone think that making a racist remark would help you win an argument?

Pawn · 21-07-2014 5:04pm

FullblownRose wrote: »

I don't think, for example, you can be a racist when cross with your friend who is a different colour, and want to upset them to 'win' an argument, so you throw racist insults at them,but normally you don't have a racist opinion of them when you're not arguing.

This would be a totally stupid, rude and dick-like behavior so I agree with you on this one. To sum it up, whoever does that to a friend (or in fact anyone) is stupid, rude and a dick.

Czarcasm · 21-07-2014 5:14pm

Ahh racism, discriminatory and derogatory remarks comes from a different place altogether than your average argument or intent to cut someone short. It would also be context dependent, like you should be able to tell when the person does and doesn't mean something they said, and judge it on the balance of what they're normally like.

Otherwise my best mate really does think I'm a knob jockey, and my wife really does think I'm an unconscionable bastard.

If someone was inherently racist/homophobic etc, they wouldn't just be discriminatory or derogatory with you, they'd be like that with everyone.

ElvisChrist6 · 21-07-2014 5:18pm

I wouldn't be one to insult in the heat of the moment myself, but I do think most people who do just want to hurt the person and find the easiest route to do so. I don't think Michael Richards for example is a racist, just a bad comedian who wanted to hurt the person for hurting him. Perhaps he tried to shock too, but some people do just find the easiest way to hurt others.

RDM_83 again · 21-07-2014 5:28pm

In the context the OP is talking about is it much worse to use a Racist insult than too use someother aspect of their physical appearance or social background such as weight, height, looks or nationality or 'social class'. Each of these is too some extent unchangeable like race is.
I do get why its worse in terms of the wider social context due to the historical background but Between friends?
Someone could be much sensitive about some other aspects of themselves than skin colour.

ash23 · 21-07-2014 5:37pm

If you were racist or homophobic, you're unlikely to be friends with a black person or a gay person though so it would be most likely that it's something just said in order to hurt their friend in the heat of the moment.

However you can't choose your family or colleagues so I think if it was said then it might have a grain of truth in it with regards to what the person really thinks

Elegant Elliot Offen · 21-07-2014 5:40pm

If they want to fight then they should be prepared to hear certain unpleasant things.

whupdedo · 21-07-2014 5:58pm

I agree with the op, when having an argument everything comes out, and isn't that what an argument is about, i don't have many arguments but when I do have can lose the rag and say something I usually regret, but it's an argument these things happen

also if your having an argument with a fat guy, you'll call him a fat bastard, I've never had an argument with a black person but if I did, id probably call him a black bastard, because at the time of arguing he's black and he's a bastard, so the next logical point in your argument would be to call him a black bastard

Things get said in the heat of the moment and the main thing is to get over it and move on

robindch · 21-07-2014 6:04pm

FullblownRose wrote: »

Do you think things that are said in ''the heat of the moment'' are not genuinely felt or meant, and are thrown at the other person in order to 'win' an argument?

Some people do that, some people don't. Personally, I think it's best to avoid heated arguments and prevent the situation from arising in the first place.

If a friend views "winning" the argument as more important than resolving the underlying difference or remaining honest, then, well, perhaps they need different friends.

Arguments.

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