Being the veggie half of a couple

Vojera

Hi all. This is my first time posting in this section so please bear with me!

I'm not currently a veggie, but I am considering it. I actually was a vegetarian for seven years before, but it was more an exercise in willpower than any moral or health reason. However, now that I'm a bit older I really am starting to feel awful about every piece of meat that I eat, so I'm considering changing back.

However, my wife would never even consider being a vegetarian. So my question is, are any of you the veggie other-half of a non-vegetarian and if so, how does it work out for you? How do you find cooking meals for each other? Does your shopping end up being a lot more expensive?

I'm trying to see the logistics of just one of us cutting out meat, but I'm finding it hard to see how it will work.

Shenshen

I used to be the non-veggie half - my now husband was already vegetarian when we moved in together a few years back.

I'm not sure our situation compared, though, as I was the one doing all the cooking, and I didn't really have an issue cooking and eating vegetarian. So most of our meals were vegetarian, with me maybe having a fry-up with sausages and rashers on a Sunday, and me eating meat when we would be going out for meals.

However, I don't think it has to be difficult, there are a lot of dishes I can think of that you can prepare without meat and just add the meat to one half at the very end.

When you say your wife would never consider to be vegetarian, does that mean she will insist on meat 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, or is she just not willing to cut it out of her diet entirely but would be quite happy to just 2 or 3 meals with meat a week?

Vojera

She'd be happy to cut down the amount of meat she eats but not to cut it out altogether. As it is we eat vegan or vegetarian breakfasts most days (just because they're tasty, not on purpose), lunch is generally leftover dinner and there are a few vegetarian dinners that I cook which she enjoys. So actually from that perspective it doesn't seem so insurmountable.

Benny_Cake

From personal experience, get used to staff serving the vegetarian dish to your wife when eating out!

I'm a vegetarian, my OH isn't. We split the cooking between us though and in general she has adopted a largely vegetarian diet. Being able to cook veggie alternatives to favourite meals is a definite help.

Gunslinger92

Benny_Cake wrote: »

From personal experience, get used to staff serving the vegetarian dish to your wife when eating out!

haha yes! I'm the veggie one and not once have restaurant staff given the veggie meal to my boyfriend!

DonnieScribbles

Vojera wrote: »

She'd be happy to cut down the amount of meat she eats but not to cut it out altogether. As it is we eat vegan or vegetarian breakfasts most days (just because they're tasty, not on purpose), lunch is generally leftover dinner and there are a few vegetarian dinners that I cook which she enjoys. So actually from that perspective it doesn't seem so insurmountable.

From the above I'd say ye'd be grand. I'm vegetarian and my boyfriend isn't. But there are places we like to eat that serve both, and he's fine eating veggie regularly.

Shopping wise it's probably cheaper, but I do most of it and I'm the frugal sort so it could be just that.

It's no big deal really to be honest.

Vojera

Cool, thanks for the input everyone. I'm going to sit down and make some meal plans to make this happen!

Joya

Hi OP,

I was married for 12 years and my husband was not a vegetarian when we started (i am since i was 16), however I was making no issue but cooked vegetarian for myself and he enjoyed it, so gradually through short period of time he became a vege as he figured out it suits him actually much better.. He felt better and now even we divorced few years ago he is still a vege.. (his now wife is not)..

So, I think, it definitelly can work out with no fuss, and I wish you a good luck and hope you both will enjoy the process : )..

Tar.Aldarion

It can work out as long as you are willing to accept it from the start, that is if it doesn't put you off somebody over time.
I can imagine it being annoying, I wouldn't cook meat for somebody etc and I can imagine it causing friction. As long as there is some form of compromise that you two work out between each other.

eviltwin

I'm veggie most of my life and live with a man who lives for meat. Its not a big deal. Most of the time he will cook his own meals in batches so he just takes what he wants out of the freezer, I'll cook a veggie meal for myself and the kids. On the days where we cook together his meat will be cooked first, we cook a veggie meal and then he adds his meat to his portion. He still eats as much meat as he ever did and that won't change but that's okay. Having two frying pans also helps

guernica

My sister is the veggie (now vegan) half and she and her husband just eat separate dinners most nights. Not sure what the big deal is - you don't have to eat the same food (although I accept it's more efficient to cook once).

When i move in with my partner we plan to just look after ourselves most nights - different working hours/eating habits etc. Just like in my shared house!

orchidsrpretty

I do most of the cooking and shopping in our house so my boyfriend can go a long time without eating meat. I do sometimes cook with quorn mince though. I would also sometimes get him a meaty pizza or some meat for a sandwich.
It's never really been an issue. When we started going out, I made a effort to cook him meat but as I have never eaten or cooked it before, it didn't taste too good, and have long given up on it.

--LOS--

I hate to be on the opposing side but....I would have sorta strong reservations about getting involved with meat-eaters Not in the beginning, but eventually, how can it not bother you eventually if someone has a distinct lack of compassion/disregard for the lives of others I know people will read this and think that's extreme but ya know, it's really not. I would never judge someone initially, but if it was to become more serious, and they hadn't made the choice to change their ways on their own, then I just don't see how that could be resolved. I'm quite positive though and I do believe everyone has the capacity for change, I also maybe naively believe if someone was around me that much then they're likely to change, not because of me per se, but just the fact that they are opened up to it.

kisaragi

--LOS-- wrote: »

I hate to be on the opposing side but....I would have sorta strong reservations about getting involved with meat-eaters Not in the beginning, but eventually, how can it not bother you eventually if someone has a distinct lack of compassion/disregard for the lives of others I know people will read this and think that's extreme but ya know, it's really not. I would never judge someone initially, but if it was to become more serious, and they hadn't made the choice to change their ways on their own, then I just don't see how that could be resolved. I'm quite positive though and I do believe everyone has the capacity for change, I also maybe naively believe if someone was around me that much then they're likely to change, not because of me per se, but just the fact that they are opened up to it.

Most people who eat meat don't see it that way. They don't see eating meat as killing "others" (actually I'm a veggie and I don't see it as killing others either, I'd reserve that for cannibalism). It's like when most people buy their iPhone they don't think about the horrible conditions whoever made it worked in, or about the child labourer who made their high street top in a sweatshop for 5 cents a day.

As someone with a non-veggie partner (for 3 years) I can tell you that just being around a vegetarian all the time is not enough to change everyone's mind My partner refuses to eat any quorn/tofu products and only likes about 5 vegetables so making meals for him is nigh-on impossible haha. Sometimes I'll make us veggie food and he'll put meat in his portion just for the sake of it It's still not a big deal though, we just generally eat/prepare separate meals... Don't tell him I said this but he's actually a terrible cook so it suits me fine that way haha .

Being veggie for me is a personal thing so it doesn't bother me if someone I know chooses to eat meat - that's their prerogative.

pwurple

--LOS-- wrote: »

how can it not bother you eventually if someone has a distinct lack of compassion/disregard for the lives of others I know people will read this and think that's extreme but ya know, it's really not.

It's a bit of a huge leap to say there is a "lack of compassion/disregard for others" because of a difference in ethical standpoint. I consider imprisoning any animal in houses as pets to be an ethical step too far for me, but I don't judge people who do so to be anything other than having different ethical standards to myself.

There's a difference in the amount of meat consumed in my house. Husband doesn't consider a meal to be a meal without meat... I tend to go for meat maybe two or three times a week. He just adds meat, so he keeps a stash of cooked stuff in the freezer. He will throw in chopped stuff to stir-frys or onto salads.

He has come around more to my way over the years, doesn't bother adding it to a lentil curry anymore.