Missing out

LegacyUser

I'll soon be 27 and since I entered my twenties I haven't even held a girls hand.

I went from a mixed school to all male course (and very geeky) and then on to very male dominated industry. So I wasn't interacting with the opposite sex during this time and I didn't have any confidence to approach women on nights out nor would any of my mates.

When I moved to Dublin nearly a year ago I realised I needed to be a lot more social so I joined Tag Rugby, Football teams, gone on holidays on my own and most importantly meetup. So since then I have met lots cool and interesting people making good friends along the way. There has been a few girls who have shown interest in me but of the ones that I was also interested I was never able to do anything about it. I also wouldn't drink more than three pints so I cannot do like a few of my mates do and get a bit of Dutch courage.

I feel really low about myself when my friends talk about their previous relationships or flings as its something I don't have any experience on and I feel like I have missed out on so much.

How can I get of my fear of getting intimate with anyone?

J_E

Big hurdle to get over is to stop thinking of women as 'the opposite sex', like they're an elusive species. Majority of women (and men too) don't like being sought after purely for sex, unless it's an explicit request. They are people with their own interests just like you. You're more likely to become more confident and have encounters if you are just friendly with women you come across in your hobbies, through your friends, etc. and any encounter you do have then is more likely to be organic rather than a nervous/desperate attempt to 'get the girl'. There's nothing to feel guilty or regretful about because there is still a lot of time in your life to let these things happen!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

27?! You're still a child!! Don't worry about your age, there's no cut off point for this kind of thing. Stop thinking about the intimate side of things, try make a few more girl friends before you look for a girlfriend. Join a club or volunteer for something. It'll happen when you're not even looking for it but if you worry too much about it, it'll make things infinitely harder.