Strong nostalgia for my childhood

LegacyUser

Probably a strange thread to post on here but I guess i'm posting it just because my feeling is so strong and it feels like an odd thing at my age. Anyway, I grew up in the 90's so i'm still relatively young, but lately I've been hit with overwhelming nostalgia for my childhood.

It only hit me when I heard the theme tune to a tv show that I used to love. It just completely brought me back to a time when everything was so much easier. Since about 12 I've been the kind of guy to ponder things a lot but for the last few years i've been going through an anxiety crisis, worrying obsessively about my health, thinking i'm going to die from all sorts of ailments and pretty much avoiding social interactions when possible. I know it's silly to dwell on the past but I just wish I could go back, i'm pretty much in floods of tears just thinking about how much easier life was.

I wish I could just enjoy my 20's more without getting all nostalgic. I suppose I'd call it a quarter life crisis if such a thing exists but I feel alone in this and I guess I just needed to write it down. Thanks to anyone who has any advice.

Rubberchikken

i remember being 12. it was the perfect age, imo. always wanted to stay that age, so i can appreciate a little how you feel.
are you in college/working?
what do you do in your spare time?

it can seem tough to see life going by when maybe things aren't going the way you imagined.
do you think that if you got the chance a chat with your gp might help?

take care.

Sun in Capri

Hi Nostalgia 24, I guess at times we all feel a bit the way you describe, the problem is letting its take over and taking away from your life as it is now. The grass is always greener and in my view this applies to the past and usually when we are not that happy in the present. It is possible that you are feeling a little depressed and it might be no harm to have a chat with your GP about it. Along with this make sure you have a healthy diet, getting plenty of sleep and getting out and about and mixing with people. Exercise is also very important and great for improving the mood. Sometimes we just have to take stock of our lives, look at the good and bad bits and put a plan in place no matter how small to seek to improve our situation. I wish you all the best.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies so far. I've spoken to my gp recently and he prescribed me something for my anxiety/depression but I've yet to take it. I think it's more of a lifestyle change that I need than meds.

I don't exercise. I drink a good bit to cope with anxious thoughts and my only social outlet is my drinking buddies. I just need more purpose to my life. I play guitar which I enjoy a lot, I like to cook and I like watching football and I enjoy listening to music. Travel is also a passion of mine. So it's not like I've nothing that interests me, but there is always a feeling of something missing. Like that carefree attitude I had when I was young. Living outside my own head more often than in it if that makes sense. Pretty much just living in the moment. I've tried meditation to help with this but it hasn't helped.

I have a very small circle of 4 people I'd call mates which also gets to me. 2 are in long term relationships and 2 i'd see fairly frequently. Then when I go on facebook I see people tagging like 16 friends in a status on a night out and i'm all like "why am I so different?" why can't I be normal like 95% of other people and have loads of mates. I barely meet women also due to my lack of social circle and i've found online dating a waste of time and effort.

I guess I just spend a lot of time thinking about what is wrong in my life. I find it difficult to accept my situation, I always want more, something is always missing. I do work at the minute thankfully. It's a job I don't particularly enjoy but it's well paid and is my first post-college job.

I still live at home and have been debating moving abroad to australia or something for a year but I'd feel very guilty leaving my parents as i'm their only child. Also the few friends I do have here would completely forget about me if I went off for a year. Sorry for the long post it just feels relieving to type all this out.

martin101

Nostalgia24 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies so far. I've spoken to my gp recently and he prescribed me something for my anxiety/depression but I've yet to take it. I think it's more of a lifestyle change that I need than meds.

I don't exercise. I drink a good bit to cope with anxious thoughts and my only social outlet is my drinking buddies. I just need more purpose to my life. I play guitar which I enjoy a lot, I like to cook and I like watching football and I enjoy listening to music. Travel is also a passion of mine. So it's not like I've nothing that interests me, but there is always a feeling of something missing. Like that carefree attitude I had when I was young. Living outside my own head more often than in it if that makes sense. Pretty much just living in the moment. I've tried meditation to help with this but it hasn't helped.

I have a very small circle of 4 people I'd call mates which also gets to me. 2 are in long term relationships and 2 i'd see fairly frequently. Then when I go on facebook I see people tagging like 16 friends in a status on a night out and i'm all like "why am I so different?" why can't I be normal like 95% of other people and have loads of mates. I barely meet women also due to my lack of social circle and i've found online dating a waste of time and effort.

I guess I just spend a lot of time thinking about what is wrong in my life. I find it difficult to accept my situation, I always want more, something is always missing. I do work at the minute thankfully. It's a job I don't particularly enjoy but it's well paid and is my first post-college job.

I still live at home and have been debating moving abroad to australia or something for a year but I'd feel very guilty leaving my parents as i'm their only child. Also the few friends I do have here would completely forget about me if I went off for a year. Sorry for the long post it just feels relieving to type all this out.

I can totally relate to your situation. Cause I can see myself in you. I'm also an only child. I'm slightly older than you but I too look back at when I was younger thinking things were great. But this is just a phase, when I was single I think I looked back more but you have to look forward. I too have a very small group of friends, four aswell. I used to try my best with new people in the hope they would become friends with me but as I got older I thought to myself, what's the point, let people like me for me and if they don't then so what. I don't agree with the online dating thing either. My fiancé and I met online so just keep trying. Maybe try to cut down on the drink a little too if you can and get a little exercise. Even a walk 5 days a week in the evening to clear the head. Exercise makes you feel better about yourself . I try to run a few times a week and I find it helps with any stress I have or anxiety.if you want to pm me feel free to do so. But keep the chin up. I know what your going through and with a bit of work you'll be fine. Take care

Lou.m

Op I think the way you feel has nothing to do with your life. It seems perceptions of yours are affected by internal moods. Your life seems pretty fine. I think it is an internal issue.

LegacyUser

Nostalgia24 wrote: »

I've spoken to my gp recently and he prescribed me something for my anxiety/depression but I've yet to take it. I think it's more of a lifestyle change that I need than meds.

I don't exercise. I drink a good bit to cope with anxious thoughts and my only social outlet is my drinking buddies. I just need more purpose to my life. I play guitar which I enjoy a lot, I like to cook and I like watching football and I enjoy listening to music. Travel is also a passion of mine. So it's not like I've nothing that interests me, but there is always a feeling of something missing. Like that carefree attitude I had when I was young. Living outside my own head more often than in it if that makes sense. Pretty much just living in the moment. I've tried meditation to help with this but it hasn't helped.

I have a very small circle of 4 people I'd call mates which also gets to me. 2 are in long term relationships and 2 i'd see fairly frequently. Then when I go on facebook I see people tagging like 16 friends in a status on a night out and i'm all like "why am I so different?" why can't I be normal like 95% of other people and have loads of mates. I barely meet women also due to my lack of social circle and i've found online dating a waste of time and effort.

I guess I just spend a lot of time thinking about what is wrong in my life. I find it difficult to accept my situation, I always want more, something is always missing. I do work at the minute thankfully. It's a job I don't particularly enjoy but it's well paid and is my first post-college job.

I was like you many years ago. I wasn't nostalgic but I wasn't enjoying life that much.

95% of people don't have loads of mates. They have a couple of good friends. It was the same when I was 20... it's the same now that I'm 40. I know some people with no friends. I know people with a few friends. There is no standard amount. If you have four good friends, you're doing very well.

I used to drink as a coping mechanism... it was good in the short term (the night i was drinking) but it didn't do anything for me in the long run.

My favourite time was when I was 15/16 because it's the last time I remember not worrying about life. Thing is, everyone has their own worries - they just don't show them or admit them. That's a generalisation but talk to anyone with a house... or kids... or a pressurised job.

You have hobbies and that's a great thing. Could you develop those further - dedicate time to perfect your cooking / organise some dinner parties? Set up a band or go to open mic nights? (My dad does this now that he's in his 70s and he could be out 2 or 3 nights a week).

Two books I'd recommend... The Road Less Travelled and The Feeling Good Handbook.

If travel interests you, why not plan some weekends away. Book some cheap flights to European cities and go with your friends or on your own.... It mean that you've something to look forward to.

In fact, is that where some of your issues are arising from - that you don't have things to look forward to and therefore you are looking back to your youth?

ManOfMystery

Facebook has a way of making everyone look like they have lots of close friends. That the point of it!

In reality I'd agree that most people have a small circle of 'close' friends, and then maybe a wider circle of acquaintances. So don't read into it too much and feel like you're missing out just because of what you see on FB - I go out regularly with a group of 4 close friends but when we're out we inevitably end up getting tagged by anyone we vaguely recognise, and it looks like a big party.

I think you just need to get out and do more. You say you don't exercise - you should. Exercise helps your body release endorphins, which in turns make you feel better and as a bonus, you get fitter and if you go to a gym you'll meet new people.

You say you drink a good bit - alcohol, as we all know, is a depressant, so you should try and cut that down too.

There are 2 things alone which are easily changeable within your reach and which will make you feel better straight away. It won't even cost you anything really - the money you save by drinking less could go on gym fees, or else you can just go jogging outside.

Also, you play guitar - why not do it professionally? I played for years before joining a band and I have to say I love doing it, gigging is good fun and it's a bit of extra cash. Even if you don't want to do it professionally, look on the community/music section on something like Gumtree and you'll see lots of local likeminded musicians looking to get together just to jam or rock out once or twice a week. Great way to share a hobby and make new friends.

I'm no expert, but from the outside looking in it seems like your life is ok but you don't have anything which really grabs you or motivates you. I think you should work on making yourself feel better about yourself first (less drink, more exercise) then invest some time in a hobby or passion. And if you're still feeling like you're missing something, that might be the point to consider travelling and looking farther afield.

whiskeyman

Is there anything you could do to keep you in touch with your inner child?
Do you still play sports that you did when younger?
this for me is my link back - I've fond memories of playing football and golf, and I still keep playing them, and feel like a kid playing.

skallywag

I think it's pretty common OP to look back with a sense of nostalgia on one's childhood, although I think that the majority of those who do will tend to remember things being a lot rosier than they actually really were. The realization that these days are permanently gone does not sit comfortably with everyone, it can be quite natural to yearn for the good old days. It's one of the sad truths about this life that time's arrow can only point in one direction, with only one ultimate outcome to it all, sooner or later. It's what we can do along the way that makes it more bearable though :-)