Missed Opportunities -

Confused12345

Advice needed please I seem to be able to give great advice to others

but don't seem to be able to follow my own



I broke up with someone last year and haven't really put myself back on the dating seen yet

was more looking after getting myself back on track

I got all the terrible advice of get back out there and only way to get over one man is with another blah blah blah



I was working at a temp job for a while and got friendly with some of the people the thing is I found myself being attracted to one of them I tried to stop myself as it came as a bit of a shock ( remember I was off men ) so hit me like a brick , we got on really well but I'm not sure if he was just being friendly . I have this great talent of being able to flirt with people I'm not interested in and get lost for words if I like someone

I finished up in the job and was hoping before I left he would ask for my number he didn't

For different reasons I needed him to ask me ( I done most of the work in the last relationship and wasn't making the same mistake again )

So I suppose my questions is how do I make sure the next time I don't miss an opportunity like this - is it worth a bruised ego confidence is still a bit low but I'm working on it

thefeatheredcat

Confused12345 wrote: »

I finished up in the job and was hoping before I left he would ask for my number he didn't

For different reasons I needed him to ask me ( I done most of the work in the last relationship and wasn't making the same mistake again )

You learned from the past doing all the work was a mistake, yet in this you've learned that maybe it was a missed opportunity in taking a different action. I think you should cut yourself some slack and not kick yourself too much over not getting his number or him not getting your number. I would actually take the experience as a positive, while nothing came of it, you still had the confidence to be friendly on a temp job and be open to possibilities to even a relationship with someone.

If it feels like a missed opportunity the best thing you can do is make a promise to yourself in a similar position to choose a different action, such as asking them out. If they say no, then it's no big deal, you took a chance and fair play to you. If they say yes then you're away with it.
A harsh lesson for me was a guy I worked with and he and I got on very well, I think we did both really like eachother but neither of us did anything about it, and he left the company. I kicked myself over that one for a while but next time when I liked someone I took the chance and asked them out. I did get a nice no, but I felt better for asking than wondering or considering it another missed opportunity.

Confused12345

thefeatheredcat wrote: »

I would actually take the experience as a positive, while nothing came of it, you still had the confidence to be friendly on a temp job and be open to possibilities to even a relationship with someone. .

Thank you think this is the important bit that perhaps I was missing. it's a step in the right direction

Rubberchikken

i agree. it shows that you're willing to relax and let your guard down a bit and start to enjoy life again.
you need to see that you can do this and in turn your self-esteem and confidence will be back to normal.
take care

Privileged White Male

If it makes you feel better op, the guy probably wanted to ask for your number, was too shy, and is now beating himself up over it.

Confused12345

Privileged White Male wrote: »

If it makes you feel better op, the guy probably wanted to ask for your number, was too shy, and is now beating himself up over it.

That's a nice thing to say thank you

Us woman forget men can be shy too

CaraMay

Confused12345 wrote: »

That's a nice thing to say thank you

Us woman forget men can be shy too

Can you go back and meet them for a night out?

Lainomac

Confused12345 wrote: »

Advice needed please I seem to be able to give great advice to others

b

For different reasons I needed him to ask me ( I done most of the work in the last relationship and wasn't making the same mistake again )



And, There is your problem right there!
Stop comparing the present to the past or you will never move forward, he is a new person, a new situation, a new opportunity, take it for what it is, and never let things pass you, Id rather ask someone for their number and get shot down than ponder on it afterwards when it was too late to do anything about it.

Confused12345

Lainomac wrote: »

Confused12345 wrote: »

Advice needed please I seem to be able to give great advice to others

b

For different reasons I needed him to ask me ( I done most of the work in the last relationship and wasn't making the same mistake again )



And, There is your problem right there!
Stop comparing the present to the past or you will never move forward, he is a new person, a new situation, a new opportunity, take it for what it is, and never let things pass you, Id rather ask someone for their number and get shot down than ponder on it afterwards when it was too late to do anything about it.

This is true I'll remember that