Problem with my debs

Davidf1

I did my Leaving Cert in June, and my debs is near the end of august.

I don't have anyone to go with. My brother told me to bring one of my cousins ( well she's not a first cousin or a second cousin, but we are related somehow). Would it be weird to bring her?

Thanks

Peregrine

Is going alone an option? I know lots of people who did/are doing that.

I guess it would depend on whether there are many others who aren't bringing a date. You should ask around.

aimzLc2

I don't see a problem bringing your cousin or whatever relation,someone to talk to during the night.If you are with your friends all the dates will probably just talk to eachother and everyone is just a big group, well thats what happened for me.

Who are your friends bringing? if they have dates, get them to suggest that they bring one of their friends as your date and all the girls would be friends and you could hang out with your guy friends or whatever.

Or as said above, you could go alone , everyone just hangs out in groups usually anyway.
so the answer is ...whatever you feel most comforatable with, i know i wouldn't have the confidence to go alone, but others do,you do whatever you want.

JDOC1996

Don't bring your cousin

Rubberchikken

do any of your friends dates have a friend who would like to be invited?
i don't see anything wrong in asking the person you mention in the op. do you know them well enough to spend the evening with and have an enjoyable time?

whatever you decide, have a great debs.

retro:electro

Bring the cousin op, it's not like ye are first cousins but even if you were who cares. If people comment or make remarks then screw them. My friend brought her sister to her debs and in my repeat year I went with a girl from school because we both couldn't afford to bring someone else again! In all honesty it's just a piss up for your school friends, people invest way too much emotion into these things. Bring the person you mentioned and have a good time. After the dinner everyone forgets who brought who anyway!

mrsbyrne

Bring your cousin and have a fantastic time. All the people with"dates" will be fighting and having dramas and you'll behaving a great laugh!

Hollister11

I'm going without a date - in my limo 4 lads and two have their girlfriends.
It's just a piss up at the end of the day

Stavro Mueller

Bring your cousin if you can't find anyone else. I don't think it really matters in the grand scale of things. Not to be patronising or anything but in 12 months time most of your classmates will have forgotten their debs and will be starting to forget who brought who. That is if they cared enough in the first place which I doubt most people do. The Debs is a big thing when you're leaving school of course but then everyone goes their separate ways and nobody thinks twice about school.

freshpopcorn

If your happy bringing your cousin bring her/him.
But remember you don't have to bring anyone or you could just go with a group of your friends from school.
If you do bring your cousin tough don't hide the fact she's your cousin. What I'm saying is don't pretend she's a date for the debs.

Promise

You could see what you're friends from school are doing. A lot of people from my school went in groups as friends instead of bring dates. If not you could always ask a friend to go with you? And if that's not possible if you want to you should bring your cousin.

LegacyUser

"My brother told me to bring one of my cousins ( well she's not a first cousin or a second cousin, but we are related somehow). Would it be weird to bring her?"

Problem 1: Your brother has told you to do this. Do YOU want to bring her? Would you have a good time if she went with you?

Problem 2: If people know she is your cousin, then they may tease you about it. I guess this depends just how closely related you are. In many rural towns, there is usually some connection between people (if you look hard enough and go back a couple of generations; and if you are not 2nd cousins, you must be going back a couple of generations).

When I went to my debs, I didnt have the confidence to ask anybody to my debs. My best friend insisted I go and got the girl he was going with to ask one of her friends. So I went to the debs with a girl I didnt know. She was nice, had fun etc. but I wish I had asked somebody - anybody. Remember, a girl LIKES to be asked to a debs. For some, it is their dream! I will always regret not asking somebody to the debs. Always. Even if that girl rejected me, it would have been good for my development as a person at the time.

My advice: If there is any girl you like, even if you dont know her that well, maybe just seen her around, find a way to ask her. If she says no, so what?! You tried and you will not live with any regrets for your debs.

Macavity.

Do not bring your cousin under any circumstance. The people saying to are mostly old and/or female and have no idea how disastrous that could turn out for a young man. Going alone is common enough in some schools and would be a better option. But you still have a good bit of time, is there anyone at all you could ask?

Czarcasm

Macavity. wrote: »

Do not bring your cousin under any circumstance. The people saying to are mostly old and/or female and have no idea how disastrous that could turn out for a young man. Going alone is common enough in some schools and would be a better option. But you still have a good bit of time, is there anyone at all you could ask?

Thanks Macavity! :pac:


Tbh OP there's no point in asking people on the internet should you bring your cousin. It'd be a better idea if you actually asked your cousin what she thought of the idea.

I think personally you're better off going by yourself than bringing your cousin, unless you live in deep south Alabama where that kinda thing is the norm.

Then again I went on a blind date to my debs and had a ball with the girl, so I'm probably not the best person to offer advice in this instance!

Macavity.

Czarcasm wrote: »

Thanks Macavity! :pac:

I don't mean to be offensive but a lot of older people are out of touch with how easy it is to find out if someone is related to you nowadays through Facebook and the like. Slagging isn't as common for girls also, and I think some female posters on here are overlooking the humiliation this could cause for the OP.

myshirt

<myshirt edit> Since it's considered inflammatory, I have removed it.

Apologies to anyone offended.

Best wishes to op.

Tokyo

myshirt - I've read your post a few times now, and I'm still trying to figure out the parts of it you actually thought were acceptable here. Considering you were warned a couple of months ago for inflammatory remarks, this earns you a yellow card, and consider yourself officially warned not to post in this thread again.

Regards,
Mike

damselnat

If you know your cousin and get on well with them, I don't see why you wouldn't bring them. I brought a gay friend to my debs, he used to go to our school and everyone knew he was gay, it was very clear he wasn't a "date"! But then, I had a very large year group and it was the norm to bring a friend - plenty of people brought friends of the same sex, who were just friends but happened to go to a different school.

As other posters have said, it's just a night out on the drink with your friends at the end of the day. Bring a friend, someone you get along with, who won't take you up the wrong way for asking, or, as others have again said, chat with your friends and see if you could go as a group, even if some of them are going as couples and you're not, there's strength in numbers right?

At the end of the day it's just a night out, an excuse to get dressed up, and the last time your year group will be together. Go along and enjoy it, and bring someone whose company you'll enjoy, if you bring anyone at all!

Amirani

Macavity. wrote: »

Do not bring your cousin under any circumstance. The people saying to are mostly old and/or female and have no idea how disastrous that could turn out for a young man. Going alone is common enough in some schools and would be a better option. But you still have a good bit of time, is there anyone at all you could ask?

The people going to a Debs are generally all 18/19. Most will be mature enough at that point to not make big deal about it. I brought one of my mate's girlfriend's to my debs (who happened to know lots of people from the class) which worked out great, I didn't have to keep her entertained for the entire night.

Bring your cousin if you want OP, but if you do, don't leave her sitting around on her own for the evening. It's probably a good deal less hassle if you go on your own or bring a friend. If you get on well with your cousin it's great, but don't just bring her if you're stuck.

Macavity.

Diego Simeone wrote: »

The people going to a Debs are generally all 18/19. Most will be mature enough at that point to not make big deal about it.

Nope. I have been to a debs where a guy brought his cousin and it ended horribly for him, humiliation. Don't do it OP.

LegacyUser

I would suggest not going with your cousin-this is the kinda stuff that may possibly follow you around for years to come, I wet by myself last year, and I know plenty of other people who did the same. Itll save you a lot of money in the meantime (Im a girl, there were atleast 10 of us who went solo at my debs and I know a couple of guys who did the same too). You wont be remembered as the guy who just went by himself to the debs but you will be remembered as the guy who took his cousin. If youre embarrassed maybe just say you couldnt be bothered with the girl drama on your debs night youre out to have fun.

freshpopcorn

http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057266825/1/#post91664968

Hi, I saw you started this thread tonight.
Being perfectly honest with you. You don't need to bring a girl to you debs at all.
I know lots of people who just go with there friends and there's nothing wrong with it.

willmunny1990

I wouldn't bring your cousin or go alone OP, just my two cents.

The Debs is an incredibly overrated experience IMO, there can be pressure to go but if you can't find somebody suitable, like a proper date or a good friend then I would skip it, I brought somebody I hardly knew just to go and keep up appearances and it turned out to be a disaster, I could see that happening if you bring a cousin OP.

As for going alone, well from what I saw of fellas going alone from my time then it looked a bit sad and awkward, the experience isn't good enough to warrant going on your own IMO, especially if you are a fella, it must not be over looked how different it is for a girl to go on her own in a group compared to a guy.