Advice re mother issues

LegacyUser

Hi All

I need some advice regarding my mother, although I would like it noted that she has depression or bi polar, its hard to know because she wont get treatment. (Today is her first day out of bed in 3 weeks)

Anyway so today she brought it up about me being abused because I was an unruly teenager. For background information I was abused twice along with my sister but she refuses to acknowlege the second time it happened (different men and ages. 5 and 9) because I never told her about it. Ive always been weary of my mother I can even remember this being a child so I never really trusted her but tonight I just got some upset with her because Im fighting with her to acknowledge that something life changing happened to me and she says it didnt. We had a big row about it and frankly I never want to speak to her again unless she says sorry, am I wrong? Am i over reacting?

She did say what about her and how it effected her, I actually screamed at her shut up what about me? She acknowledges how it effected me as a child or an adult.

I dont know Im just really upset and want to know Im not over reacting. Thanks

Obliq

Hi OP, I'm thinking you have much more than mother issues here. Have you spoken about the abuse you suffered to anyone professional? It stands to reason that your mother may be completely unable to deal with thinking about how the abuse has affected you and her "what about me?" response would back that up.

I suggest you go find a counsellor who is appropriately trained and talk about everything that's happened to you, rather than looking for resolution from your mother. In fact, I wouldn't bring it up with her again until you are seeing a counsellor, and perhaps that may spark off a different kind of conversation and awareness. Hopefully that will happen for you, with the right help for you all....

Edit: Sorry, noticed just now that she brought it up with you. If she does that again, I'd avoid getting into it with her and if you're willing to seek counselling then you can tell her that you are talking with a professional about it. I don't think you've over reacted, no, but I think avoiding that kind of conversation (for now) would be better for you. I'm really sorry for what you went through - please talk to someone OP. Xx

R.D. aka MR.D

I agree with Obliq. You should talk to a professional about what has happened. That professional can also advise you on how to deal with your mother.

I think for the time being it's okay to put some distance between you two for your own mental health.