Wedding Day - What Part Would You Prefer to Attend

Milly33

So the next question to all is.. Do you enjoy or like going to the entire Wedding Day Celebrations, or would you prefer to lets say go to the afters, church, dinner next day.

This has nothing to do with being lazy or not wanting to give a gift. Just some people do not enjoy the dressing up or the stress of the day. Would you feel let down if you were just invited to the dinner and celebration.. Let me know!! All comments welcome

Pistachios & cream

I'm a bit torn here. In general i find the ceremony to be least enjoyable as they can be long and boring. However i like seeing the bride come up the aisle and the traditional elements so for that reason I'd pick the whole day.

However if for whatever reason the bride and groom wanted to do a private ceremony then i wouldn't mind only being invited to the dinner and dancing.

I don't like going to afters as i find it a bit awkward.

pooch90

Just the afters would be awkward.
Depends on whether the ceremony will be a long drawn out church service or a quick secular one.
I would like to see the ceremony but not sit in a church for an hour.
I wouldn't like to go to the day after thing only.

For that reason, I chose the full day.

Milly33

So I am not mad in thinking that some people do not like the church!! Yeah

I had it in my head that we would have just a few close friends at the church or ceremony part of the day but lets say the other half and a few others think this is just not how it is done..That you go to the whole thing or the afters. Thats it no choice, but I find from going to a few that a lot of people rush to make the church and then just sit there dying to get out. Must admit it is lovely to see the groom waiting and the bride walking down but you can record that

Id agree with the afters alright always seems a bit awkward when everyone has mingled already together...

rainbow kirby

I'm not a fan of afters invites - feels an awful lot like you're telling people that they are on your "second tier". We won't be doing them anyway, every invite we will give is for the whole day.

solerina

I have been asked to the wedding but not the church bit (family only) and to be honest I was disappointed as I really like the church bit and think its a huge part of the day, it was very strange arriving to the reception and knowing you missed the ceremony.

Dolbert

For me, it depends on how close a friend they are. I love attending the whole day if I know them well but for an acquaintance I'm happy just to go to the afters (if it's local). I have a massive extended family so had 80 guests to the full day and all of the cousins to the afters. Luckily there's a precedence in my family that cousins => afters due to sheer numbers so no hurt feelings

pwurple

Whole lot... Although i prefer a short ceremony, preferably in the location, so as soon as it's over there is someone with a tray if drinks and nibbles for us to start the party.

Tarzana

rainbow kirby wrote: »

I'm not a fan of afters invites - feels an awful lot like you're telling people that they are on your "second tier".

I think they're good for allowing boyfriends/girlfriends to come along in the evening, or friends of guests who might not know anyone else there. And if the guest doesn't need or want the friend/boyfriend/girlfriend to come along then grand.

Princess Peach

I agree it depends on your relationship with the bride or groom. I've mostly been to afters of weddings, of a work colleague, my brothers friends and my mother's friend's son. So I would have been friendly with them, but not so close as to expect a wedding invitation but delighted then to get an afters invite! Some people just want a big party, but can't have everyone for dinner

All these weddings were local too, so there was no expense to travel or need to stay over.

StripedBoxers

If I have to go to weddings, I prefer going to the afters, unless its for family/close friends, I really dislike attending ceremonies, receptions etc. I just find it very boring the day is very long, and they are expensive for guests too.

That said, if I can avoid going to any part of the wedding I will, I don't like weddings in general, I find them very boring and the few I have been to have all been the same, but with a different B&G at each one obviously...

petethebrick

Tarzana wrote: »

I think they're good for allowing boyfriends/girlfriends to come along in the evening, or friends of guests who might not know anyone else there. And if the guest doesn't need or want the friend/boyfriend/girlfriend to come along then grand.

Surely people's boyfriends/girlfriends are always invited to the wedding as well.
I wouldn't go to a wedding if my girlfriend wasn't invited.

And to answer the OP - stick with tradition - invite your guests for the whole day. It's not up to you to decide if they'll find the ceremony boring or not.

Of course you can give evening only invites to cousins, colleagues etc but for friends and family you really should invite them for the day.

Tarzana

petethebrick wrote: »

Surely people's boyfriends/girlfriends are always invited to the wedding as well.

Not necessarily if budgets won't allow it. That's a lot of plus ones and it's unreasonable to automatically assume your other half will be invited to the full day if they don't know the couple that well.

I'd have no problem with it. Seems a bit spoiled to turn down an invitation on those grounds. The couple might not be able to afford to have all other halves at the full day. I can't imagine not going to a friend's wedding because my boyfriend wasn't asked.

Addle

Why are the poll results hidden?

I've never been invited to a wedding that wasn't ceremony, meal, music and dancing.
I enjoy it all, except for the long gap between ceremony and meal.

To be honest, if I got an invitation to a do that didn't cover it all, I'd just think the hosts were after presents without the expense.

Electric Sheep

I suppose you could have a checkbox for each part on the RSVP, then guests could pick and choose, but it would probably be a logistical nightmare.

rainbowtrout

I think if you are inviting them to the whole thing at least they have the choice to leave after the meal, if babysitting, work is a concern or they are not into the whole drinking and dancing thing. Or if they are working they can skip the ceremony and go straight to the reception.

I wouldn't have a problem missing a ceremony if it was an immediate family only type of thing, but I'd be wondering why some people were excluded from the ceremony if say 80 were invited to the church and then another 40 to the reception.

I like going to the ceremony, we are going to celebrate a marriage after all, but the typical Irish church wedding is too long and can be boring with the mass included. I'd much prefer to go to a shorter ceremony if I had the choice, but I wouldn't skip a church wedding just out of my lack of religious belief.

Gatica

I'm not voting as the poll is hidden for some odd reason...

I like attending the whole day. There's a lot of hype and anticipation waiting for the arrival of the bride. Every single one of the church weddings have been very boring for me, but I think it's an important part of the day when you hear them say I do and the celebrant pronouncing them husband and wife. Then when they walk out together it's very exciting and it's nice to have the opportunity to congratulate them right after as you leave. I just wish the ceremonies were a whole lot shorter.

pwurple wrote: »

Whole lot... Although i prefer a short ceremony, preferably in the location, so as soon as it's over there is someone with a tray if drinks and nibbles for us to start the party.

This would be ideal, and is what we did. I'd have loved to have been a guest at our wedding We had an outdoor ceremony on the grounds, followed by sparkling wine and canapes reception.

rainbow kirby wrote: »

I'm not a fan of afters invites - feels an awful lot like you're telling people that they are on your "second tier". We won't be doing them anyway, every invite we will give is for the whole day.

I find that too. Have gone to work colleague's afters and was grand because there was a crowd of us. I have gone to just afters to a friend of my hubby's wedding. I felt a little awkward coming in when people had been there for the day (I was invited btw, just couldn't take the day off work). ...for ours we just invited people for the day. It was far enough that wouldn't have made sense for anyone to travel for a couple of hours or so. Plus all the important people we wanted there, had already been invited.

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I suppose you could have a checkbox for each part on the RSVP, then guests could pick and choose, but it would probably be a logistical nightmare.

+1 to that. It would be nice, but crazy to organise, especially as people change their minds a lot even with simple day invites.

Milly33

Oh I will try and unhide the votes although I cant see why it makes a difference, oh I tried and I cant so it will just have to be a surprise..

vicwatson

Results hidden?? I vote and the results are hidden? ah here

Unvote me !!

vicwatson

Milly33 wrote: »

Oh I will try and unhide the votes although I cant see why it makes a difference, oh I tried and I cant so it will just have to be a surprise..

We are all guests on a public forum. Are you surveying us or something?:rolleyes:

That's why

Milly33

No, it was my first time doing a poll and it asked the question, when do you want the poll to be closed so I pick after a bout a week or so and then the polls will show..still don't see why it would matter, if anything it is better to not see them as then you have no push to vote either way

rainbowtrout

Milly33 wrote: »

No, it was my first time doing a poll and it asked the question, when do you want the poll to be closed so I pick after a bout a week or so and then the polls will show..still don't see why it would matter, if anything it is better to not see them as then you have no push to vote either way

Yes but you can set the poll so people can see the result but not see how individuals posted.

People are far more likely to comment on it if they can see the result and see it if it matches what is being said on the thread.

Why do you think people would be pushed to vote in any particular way just because of the way other people vote. Can't say I've seen that on boards threads before.

Milly33

Sure that's politics all over!! haha not being cheeky but it is really.. Well I tried to change it and I cant so just have to wait

Faith

I reported it for the mods to fix, Milly, and it's visible now.

Milly33

sorted thanks faith..People were getting a little excited about it

Teyla Emmagan

I would like to go to the ceremony (church, preferably) and leave after that! That's the best part if the day IMO. You see everyone, they're all dressed up and still not tired and I love wedding ceremonies. The flowers, music, bride walking up the aisle etc. I find it all lovely. Most weddings are just downhill after that as far as I am concerned!

Nicman

Milly33 wrote: »

So the next question to all is.. Do you enjoy or like going to the entire Wedding Day Celebrations, or would you prefer to lets say go to the afters, church, dinner next day.

This has nothing to do with being lazy or not wanting to give a gift. Just some people do not enjoy the dressing up or the stress of the day. Would you feel let down if you were just invited to the dinner and celebration.. Let me know!! All comments welcome

Hi Milly :-)
I think everyone is different. Some hate going to the full day and some are offended if not invited to the full day. I didn't have an afters but here's something that might be an idea if you feel some people would like a choice: On the invitation RSVP (you'd have to send it out earlier than usual) put a box selection of "full day" or "afters". This allows people to tick which they'd prefer to attend but you would have to emphasise the importance of returning this by a given date for numbers etc...what do you think?