Not sure what lady friend is getting at

JLP71

I've been seeing my "lady friend" now since last year, she's split from husband with 2 kids, she's not from Ireland.

We are not in a relationship and that suits me just fine, we just meet up go out and have sex every other week, she seems quite happy with this" arrangement " too and I'm very happy I don't have to listen to fussing and moaning like in previous relationships truth be known there are many lads who'd love an arrangement like this.

However in the last month or two I've noticed she's started nagging me a bit over my drinking she likes an odd drink but not really much of a drinker whereas I like to go out and have a skinful after a hard weeks work I don't always get drunk but I'll usually always have at least 7 pints, I've laughed it off but this is exactly I didn't want, nagging I can't be dealing with it and would sooner stay single forever than having to listen to it.

Sometimes she speaks as if we are a in a relationship, other times not, shows affection but that's it really but this nagging me has me thinking, what's the story here, she knows the score as it were or something else, am I making this out to be something it's not, obviously I want to keep our arrangement going but cannot be dealing with nagging.. Any advice?

Both in late 30's by the way

strandroad

Do you drink on the days you meet her, or the day before? Perhaps that's what she doesn't like

Lux23

7 pints in one go is quite a lot, maybe she is just concerned about your health or maybe you're a boring drunk.

CaraMay

It's probably that she us going off you but finds your arrangement handy and doesn't want to end that part. Sounds like she does disdain parts of your character so time to decide if you are ok with that

JLP71

Not to me it's not I wouldn't necessarily be drunk on 7 pints, go beyond 9/10 and I will be but she's the first to get up dancing and it's not as if there are any awkward silences.

I'll probably get slaughtered for this BUT in my experience women have a tendency to nag their men,.

Anyway we'll see how it goes this weekend, I'll mention it to her this time too.

Maurice Greene.

Is she European?
Some countries don't have the same drinking culture as Ireland. Probably most countries...

rcarroll

she's probably getting sick of your attitude towards women - that all women nag men is a fairly insulting view of women.

Her comments about your drinking are probably related to how it's affecting her - maybe you're turning up hungover and stinking of booze - not attractive...or if you're drinking on dates, maybe you're not as much fun to be around as when sober.

If it's something you can adjust to keep the arrangement happy then do so. If not, find another woman - but don't be surprised if you're attitude comes across and turns women off.

Maurice Greene.

I would have the same opinion as poster above.

Speaking for myself, I used to love going out at the weekends in my twenties and having a good few pints but I must admit that I got tired of that in my thirties. I would find it quite boring now and unhealthy also.
Being a man, I still like going to the pub for an odd occasion but I consume very little and treat it as a social occasion to relax and have a chat with my partner. She would not drink much also.
I find going for a nice dinner, cinema, plays etc are much more fun and make for a nice interesting evening to share with herself.
I would suggest for you to find a woman who likes to cut it up at the weekend with lots of booze as yourself, all should be ok then...

Lux23

JLP71 wrote: »

Not to me it's not I wouldn't necessarily be drunk on 7 pints, go beyond 9/10 and I will be but she's the first to get up dancing and it's not as if there are any awkward silences.

I'll probably get slaughtered for this BUT in my experience women have a tendency to nag their men,.

Anyway we'll see how it goes this weekend, I'll mention it to her this time too.

Nag? How is and nagging? She just said she doesn't like your drinking, why is that nagging?

retro:electro

You don't know what your lady friend is getting at? It's crystal clear what she's getting at; she wants you to stop drinking so much. Seriously the way you talk about her is so degrading. You're in your late thirties you need to cop on.

GERALD GIRAFFE

I'd guess that if you had a lady friend who didn't give a sh*t about your drinking (BTW, I'm not saying it's a problem; I haven't a notion) or drank the same amount/frequency/other - it could be much worse. Maybe she simply cares; maybe she is nagging, I don't know. But if she's not nagging and it's because she cares then this is surely only good!?! WTF do I know though! I'm a giraffe!

Obliq

JLP71 wrote: »

Sometimes she speaks as if we are a in a relationship, other times not, shows affection but that's it really but this nagging me has me thinking, what's the story here, she knows the score as it were or something else, am I making this out to be something it's not, obviously I want to keep our arrangement going but cannot be dealing with nagging.. Any advice?

Both in late 30's by the way

Maybe, since you both only want each other for the ride, she has noticed that the amount you drink is affecting the quality of her sex life?

Of course, if you like the affection (and her speaking as if you're in a relationship/going out with you, etc.) then you have to take the good with the bad. After all, she may be sick of you still stinking of beer breath in the morning and possibly developing an unlovely beer gut, so perhaps the time will come where the sex just ain't worth it for her any more, in the same way as you're reconsidering your "arrangement".

Alternatively, have you ever considered that this ...ahem...nagging actually contains words (that make sentences, if you listen carefully) that MAY possibly relate to how she's becoming less satisfied by you? I'm full sure she could find another bloke who'd welcome a similar arrangement but who doesn't drink a skinfull every time they're out and she wants a decent ride after.....

Cerveja69

CaraMay wrote: »

It's probably that she us going off you but finds your arrangement handy and doesn't want to end that part. Sounds like she does disdain parts of your character so time to decide if you are ok with that

Disdains parts of his character? Over reaction much?! She probably thinks he drinks a bit too much, especially if she's not much of a drinker herself, but that's about it. For all you know she's mad about him and thinks his character is great!

OP, don't worry about it too much. If you want to keep the casual relationship going then just say nothing and learn to zone out when she makes these comments. If you're not that into her, or in a relationship with her then who cares what she says.

I wouldn't like anybody commenting on my drinking. It's none of her business to be frank so just ignore her comments and carry on drinking to a level you feel comfortable with.

If my bf commented on my drinking I'd probably drink more to spite him lol, never mind some casual hook up

mrty

JLP71 wrote: »

I've been seeing my "lady friend" now since last year, she's split from husband with 2 kids, she's not from Ireland.

We are not in a relationship and that suits me just fine, we just meet up go out and have sex every other week, she seems quite happy with this" arrangement " too and I'm very happy I don't have to listen to fussing and moaning like in previous relationships truth be known there are many lads who'd love an arrangement like this.

However in the last month or two I've noticed she's started nagging me a bit over my drinking she likes an odd drink but not really much of a drinker whereas I like to go out and have a skinful after a hard weeks work I don't always get drunk but I'll usually always have at least 7 pints, I've laughed it off but this is exactly I didn't want, nagging I can't be dealing with it and would sooner stay single forever than having to listen to it.

Sometimes she speaks as if we are a in a relationship, other times not, shows affection but that's it really but this nagging me has me thinking, what's the story here, she knows the score as it were or something else, am I making this out to be something it's not, obviously I want to keep our arrangement going but cannot be dealing with nagging.. Any advice?

Both in late 30's by the way

Well man whether you like it or not, sounds like the lady cares about ye. Perhaps she has different plans for ye both. Think yourself lucky, and enjoy. Pints won't keep ye warm at night. Good luck.

Pessimist

I'm thinking she's 'nagging' because of at least one of these: you have a beer gut, stink of beer, are a dud in bed after a few and/or are a boring drunk.

Why should you have to put up with nagging? If I were you, I'd find a partner with the same attributes as you and problem solved!

mapaca

OP, when you say "she seems quite happy with our arrangement", have the two of you actually discussed the nature of your arrangement and agreed that you are not in a relationship per se but that it's just a casual thing?

curlzy

It sounds like you're a misogynist, quite immature and a dipso but you're getting no strings attached sex. Apparently that's a hell of lot harder to find than society would like to make out. If you're happy to remain an immature, misogynistic, binge drinker and you're tired of listening to her "nagging" then you should just end the arrangement. If you're unhappy with yourself and would like to engage in self-improvement and keep the no strings attached sex then consider changing. However I doubt you will change, I'd imagine you're more likely to go on giving out about women and will remain alone with just your pint for company.

Best of luck with whatever you choose.

Big Bag of Chips

You're not sure what she's getting at? She's told you. She thinks you drink too much. She's entitled to an opinion on how much you drink. You are entitled to disregard her opinion.

But she's not 'getting at' anything. She's telling you up straight that she thinks you drink too much.