Is he phasing me out?

LegacyUser

Hi guys. just looking for some advice.

Been seeing a guy for two months now. was going really well. He's a bit older than me. Early thirties, and I'm mid twenties and its long distance as we work in different cities. I really like him and he seemed to really like me. we have met up a lot, spent weekends together and were texting every day nearly and phoning. the thing is Im a huge texter and he isnt which he has admitted. I dont mean Im texting every second, but Id send a text even just once a day to say hello and such as this is the first long distance dating Ive ever done and its hard. the thing is, he seems to be losing interest, its hard to explain but he might go two days without texting me, but then acts totally normal when he texts then. I did bring it up after 5 weeks as I felt maybe it was fazing out but he assured me it was just his way and that texting wasnt his thing. I dont want to come across as needy so that was fine. I said my piece, he was honest.

But I still have my doubts. for instance Im hoping its getting to a serious stage and one night when he rang me after a night out, he excused himself from a group saying he was on the phone to his "girlfriend" I didnt acknowledge it, as he was drunk so didnt want to rock the boat there. to be fair its only every two days that he goes without contacting me, but I just feel he exits the conversation very early on, telling me to enjoy my day after two texts and doesnt seem as keen. shouldnt this be the honeymoon period.

anyway thanks for reading, sorry for the long winded post, but I hate these doubts I have. Im usually a lot more controlled. appreciate any advice.

Mr. Incognito

As a guy in my early thirties we had a childhood without phones.

Some people arent into texting every day

December2012

There's not really much of a response to "hello" though is there?

Separately, why didn't you ask him about him calling you your girlfriend?

SpaceTime

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

As a guy in my early thirties we had a childhood without phones.

Some people arent into texting every day

Texting with rotary dial phones was very sore on the fingers!

ash23

A previous boyfriend hated texting so we spoke on the phone instead most evenings. Sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes longer.

You just need to find a middle ground that works for you both

milli milli

I don't see what the problem is. You said you're a big texter, he said he isn't, but he still texts you every 2 days.
He's called you his girlfriend and you don't want to rock the boat?? Most girls cant get this 'title' out of some guys.
I think you need to relax, OP.
With the greatest respect to you, you are coming across as needy.
Have you a happy and full life without him or are you waiting around for his texts?

Colonel Panic

I'm in my mid 30s and have dated a few women in their mid 20s in the past 12 months and found the texting exhausting. It is by far the most frustrating thing to come from an age gap of > 5 years.

There is just no need for constant text based contact.

cazzer22

My boyfriend isn't much of a texter either and it's totally fine. It works out quite well, we both do our own thing and then when we do speak it's never boring and I'm genuinely excited and happy to hear from him.
In my experience, relationships I have had where there has been too much contact (texting ALL the time) it gets too monotonous. What the poster said above, find middle ground and go with that, best of luck OP

LegacyUser

op again,

I wasn't talking about texting him all the time, in fact I dont. And we have to communicate this way or phone, as we live 8 hours away. Its a very long distance thing. I'm not needy, I never have been. That's why I came on here asking if I was being irrational. Which I can see there is no problem and appreciate the advice given

Flippyfloppy

There's a bit of an age gap between my husband and I, when we met I was big into texting and he wasn't, he didn't even know what text smileys meant, however he did replace texting with big phone calls which took some getting used to on my part! We found common ground in the end.