No longer find husband attractive

carlows

Hi,

I'm with my husband 10 years (married 2 years) and we've 3 children. I no longer find my husband attractive. He's even asked me if i've gone off him. I've tried reminding myself of what first attracted me to him etc but i just can't overcome my thoughts! Is this normal in a longterm relationship? How do i overcome this?

mylefttesticle

carlows wrote: »

Hi,

I'm with my husband 10 years (married 2 years) and we've 3 children. I no longer find my husband attractive. He's even asked me if i've gone off him. I've tried reminding myself of what first attracted me to him etc but i just can't overcome my thoughts! Is this normal in a longterm relationship? How do i overcome this?

In what way has he changed? or is it just you who has lost attraction for no reason?

Couples counselling is great for getting a different perspective on where a relationship has gone wrong and how to fix or is it the time for separation.

carlows

I think its just me. Ive had a really stressful last couple of months & he's been great. He's great with our kids and helps around loads at home. I'm just not physically attracted to him. I love him to bits but physical attraction is a big thing in any relationship..

LegacyUser

I don't know why but I get the impression you are looking for an excuse..
have you met someone else? or is there someone else on the scene?

Matteroffact

The physical attraction is there initially but we all age and cannot stay gorgeous forever. You have to look at the inner person rather then the outer person. Your husband is great with the kids and helps around the house so these are some loveable qualities. You need to concentrate on his good points, after all beauty is only skin deep. How do you feel about him as a person ?

professore

Has he changed in a major way physically, e.g. gained a lot of weight? I must say I still find my wife physically attractive after nearly 20 years of marriage. Is there someone else you are attracted to, or is it a general thing?

carlows

Thanks for the replies. No he hasn't gained weight or changed physically. I've been thinking about it all day & maybe it's because we've been so busy the last few months that we haven't had much time for each other. Haven't gone out anywhere where we've dressed up or made the effort. I suppose I'm just used to seeing him in tracksuits and casual clothes. At least I hope that's what it is...
There is no one else and I haven't even looked at anyone and I hope I don't find myself going down that direction. That's why I wanted some advice as to what and why I might be feeling this way.

December2012

Well how is your own libido?

How do you feel about your own level of attraction?

How's your sex drive and confidence?