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Self esteem?

  • 15-07-2014 1:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey, I'm 20 and in college, male. I was wondering could anyone on here offer good advice on how to get better self esteem and confidence in yourself. I'm fairly popular and have a lot of friends, but I still feel quite shy a lot of the time. I also never apply myself to anything. I think its linked back to being afraid of success or something. I hardly studied at all for the Leaving Cert, now I'm going in to third year in College, having again barely done anything and use scraped through. A tutor in college once had a personal chat with me where she scolded me for not taking myself seriously, and a very close personal friend told me I need to start thinking more of myself. These two things were said to me recently, and I really want to make a change in my life where I start actually believing in myself and trying to be a success in what I do, rather than just coasting through. Of course I know that change comes from making the decision yourself but I thought it might be helpful to see if anyone on Boards could offer some practical advice.


Comments

  • #2
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    It can be difficult going through something like college with low self esteem - it becomes a cycle of not bettering yourself because you don't feel like you can pull it off, and even though you want to become a more motivated person, you can't because you have low self esteem, etc.

    You need to open up slowly in steps. Every day, find an opportunity to exit your comfort zone, even if it seems trivial. Learn to talk yourself into these small opportunities and build up day by day. It can be something as small as going for a walk somewhere on your own, or starting a chat with someone you don't know on the train, that kind of thing. It's when you start to create the idea that you can do these things and influence both the world around you and how you approach these situations, you'll begin to develop a new way of thinking and an idea of who you are and what you want with life.

    Make this year yours in college...don't let it pass you by. It's an awful shame to live life vicariously when you know it's not what you want. Don't always depend on friends to compensate for your lack of confidence, do individual things, think for yourself, do something that surprises everyone! I know you can get through this.


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