Depression diagnosis

Dutchess

I think I have a form of depression, maybe dysthymia. I don't have all the common symptoms and I hold down my job just fine so I don't think it's severe but it does influence my life. I handle disappointment poorly, what could be a small thing is heartbreaking to me. I've come to more or less hate people, and have trouble keeping my friends. Big parts of my weekends are spent in bed crying. I can't seem to handle challenges and seem to sabotage any chance of getting cheered up. Hobbies I had now seem like chores and negative things always erase the good.

I see a counsellor via the employee assistance program at work at tried telling him today. He did one of these magazine style test with limiting questions and even more limiting answers. My score "diagnosed" borderline depression. He cheerfully said: " so you're not depressed" and that was that.

I am very discouraged now to see a GP. Can anyone provide input on how they diagnose? Is a normal appointment (max 15 mins in the practice I attend) sufficient?
Any recommendations for good GP's for mental health in Galway would be appreciated... I don't want someone who goes through the motions and then prescribes some random pills. I want to avoid antidepressants if possible...

Helping myself is not cutting it but it's now especially hard to put my fate in someone else's hands....

Rubberchikken

If you have a good gp go to them. If they'mre good they wont be watching the clock. Instead they should be willing to listen to you and see what needs to be done next.

Odaise Gaelach

No doubt you felt discouraged by your employee assistance counsellor. I would too, if they just told me at the end that I "wasn't depressed". But if you weren't satisfied with the counsellor (and that's completely valid) then it's a good idea for you to talk to your GP and ask them for a recommendation. If they don't recommend someone, you can still find a therapist yourself.

Most therapists will offer some kind of consultation session, or a trial period after which you can decide to stay with them or not. Their sessions will last usually up to 50 minutes. The first few sessions can be very difficult, because it's not easy to open up to someone new, and that can take time to develop. They will be patient with you and will wait for you to open up to them. And even just going to someone for the first time is a wonderful thing; it's a definitive step towards helping yourself feel better.

I would suggest not waiting: go to your GP or find a therapist as soon as possible. If you suddenly start to feel worse then they will be there for you if you need to talk to them and they'll help you through the bad days too.

Regardless, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. You deserve to feel good, and I hope that you start seeing someone and you can begin to get better again soon. All the best.

leinsterdude

Dutchess wrote: »

I think I have a form of depression, maybe dysthymia. I don't have all the common symptoms and I hold down my job just fine so I don't think it's severe but it does influence my life. I handle disappointment poorly, what could be a small thing is heartbreaking to me. I've come to more or less hate people, and have trouble keeping my friends. Big parts of my weekends are spent in bed crying. I can't seem to handle challenges and seem to sabotage any chance of getting cheered up. Hobbies I had now seem like chores and negative things always erase the good.

I see a counsellor via the employee assistance program at work at tried telling him today. He did one of these magazine style test with limiting questions and even more limiting answers. My score "diagnosed" borderline depression. He cheerfully said: " so you're not depressed" and that was that.

I am very discouraged now to see a GP. Can anyone provide input on how they diagnose? Is a normal appointment (max 15 mins in the practice I attend) sufficient?
Any recommendations for good GP's for mental health in Galway would be appreciated... I don't want someone who goes through the motions and then prescribes some random pills. I want to avoid antidepressants if possible...

Helping myself is not cutting it but it's now especially hard to put my fate in someone else's hands....

Pm me for a good guy to talk to if you are in Dublin, worked for me got me off nasty anti depressants

Dutchess

Thanks all :-)

I guess I don't know if I have a good GP. I have always gone to a Medical Centre in Galway (so Dublin bit far for me leinsterdude :-)), never with the same GP and generally year or so apart as I don't get that much wrong with me. Never minded it always being someone else with physical ailments but this is a bit different. Im not from Galway or Ireland for that matter so I don't have the family doctor that's known me forever and whom I know and trust.

Tokyo

leinsterdude - as per the forum charter, asking posters to PM you is forbidden, for the reasons outlined within. Please take the time to read the charter before posting here again.

OP,
it's not permitted in PI to seek or offer recommendations for doctors or services, nor is it allowed to seek diagnosis. However, I will leave the thread open as long as discussion is limited to getting the opinions of others on their experiences with seeking help. However, should the thread stray beyond that, it will be closed.

Regards,
Mike

Jamaican Me Crazy

I had PND so a little different from 'normal' depression. The main thing that helped me was talking to someone. I felt my GP was too quick to write a prescription without really listening to me and I was very unhappy about the idea of taking anti-depressants, your GP may be better. I found counselling helped me a lot and talking to friends and family about how I felt.

Also, just from reading online, there are just the usual things you can do to improve your mood. Get some exercise, eat healthily, set yourself small tasks so you feel you are achieving something, volunteer. You may not feel like doing these things but that is where you come in and need to push yourself a bit.

Dutchess

So I went to the GP I have gone to before yesterday. Have to say she was good. I was definitely with her longer than the maximum of 15 minutes they state in the waiting room (was the last patient so maybe that helped). We talked a good bit and she said it sounds like mild to moderate depression. She prescribed Citrol/Citalopram. I am a bit worried about taking AD's due to coming from a family background with addiction.

It just so happened that, due to a LivingSocial deal, I went to an acupuncturist the day before for the same issue. The consultation with her was also very good and after I had the needles I felt really good for the whole evening. She of course recommended doing a course of acupuncture to help me.

Both GP and acupuncturist agreed it's a bad idea to start 2 treatments at once because you won't know what's working.

I have another appointment with the GP Friday 2 weeks from now and will be taking the Citrol until then to see how I get on (it's also a hell of a lot cheaper than doing acupuncture twice a week at €45 a session). Thinking if it helps I will try it for a few months and use acupuncture to help me wean off them...

It's scary stuff altogether. I've been like this for almost 2 years now, hardly remember what I was like before.

Jenneke87

Hey Dutchess,

Kinda know what you're going through. I was depressed myself for a good 2,5 years and after a while you just get so used to feeling like that you wonder what you were like before and how it could all be good back then, and be so horrible now.

I was very anti medication myself but sometimes I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had taken them.......junkfood became my best friend during those years, don't do that, it won't do you any good, believe me

Support really is the key. My parents live abroad and didn't really understood what was going on and became very angry when I wasn't in touch regularly. Don't feel embarrased to let people know what's going on and what you need from them. My sister was a great help to me, I really do owe her Try to do one thing a day that you know you used to enjoy doing before to maintain a sense of "self". I was adviced to exercise a lot, I didn't, but found that walking made me feel better, even just being outside in general tends to do that.

I wish you all the best and hang in there

Kimbot

Jenneke87 wrote: »

Hey Dutchess,

Kinda know what you're going through. I was depressed myself for a good 2,5 years and after a while you just get so used to feeling like that you wonder what you were like before and how it could all be good back then, and be so horrible now.

I was very anti medication myself but sometimes I wonder if I would have had an easier time if I had taken them.......junkfood became my best friend during those years, don't do that, it won't do you any good, believe me

Support really is the key. My parents live abroad and didn't really understood what was going on and became very angry when I wasn't in touch regularly. Don't feel embarrased to let people know what's going on and what you need from them. My sister was a great help to me, I really do owe her Try to do one thing a day that you know you used to enjoy doing before to maintain a sense of "self". I was adviced to exercise a lot, I didn't, but found that walking made me feel better, even just being outside in general tends to do that.

I wish you all the best and hang in there

I have to agree with this, I suffer with depression and talking openly about it with someone really does help, we all need support in our lives

Dutchess

Thanks all. I took my second 10mg of Citalopram last night. Feeling somewhat restless and jittery but that is apparently quite normal for when you first go on it.

In terms of support I have my husband and a very good friend. Haven't told family the extent of it yet. Probably should, little sis is a psychology major so she knows a thing or two. But family lives abroad so we're not that in touch. Also, my mother causes major issues. Parents only just got divorced after a loooong time of struggling with her alcoholism. On top of that her cancer has come back and cannot be cured, only contained. Mental health issues are probably in my genes and the way I grew up probably has something to do with the way I am now as well....

Hopefully I will start to feel better soon. Afaik feeling like this at my age is not uncommon. It's like there's a hole in my life to fill. Married a few years now so techincally it's probably time to have kids, except that I don't want children. But what do I do then?

Rubberchikken

hi
glad you went to the gp and that your taking her advice for the time being.

you've a lot going on, but the only thing to focus on now should be you and getting back to a healthy state.
there's no obligation on anyone to have kids, or tell family what's going on with their health etc, so try not to give those things too much attention at the moment.

it's good that you have people who love and support you and with the doctors help you'll beat this.
take care.

Taltos

Find something else to fill that "hole" in your life.

Exercise - walking / hiking / jogging. Personally I found jogging the best.
Hobbies - find a new outlet, meet people, try new things - kayaking (sea / river / both), hiking/hillwalking.

Basically getting out, being active, planning for your days out and trips are all really good.

Pets - you could get a pet, but what most people don't realise is a pet is like an eternal baby, it is always dependent on you, surprise weekends away just can't happen unless you find somewhere willing to accommodate the pet. Illness, sickness etc all have to be planned for. But saying all that, pets can be great - if treated right they give back their unconditional love to you. But don't want to sugar coat it - they are a huge responsibility and that stress might be the last thing you need.

Keep talking - with family, counsellors, groups.
Sorry to hear about your mum though.

LynnGrace

Rubberchikken wrote: »

hi
glad you went to the gp and that your taking her advice for the time being.

you've a lot going on, but the only thing to focus on now should be you and getting back to a healthy state.
there's no obligation on anyone to have kids, or tell family what's going on with their health etc, so try not to give those things too much attention at the moment.

it's good that you have people who love and support you and with the doctors help you'll beat this.
take care.

Just want to second this, you have a lot of tough stuff going on in your life. Your number one priority has to be your own health now. Glad you found the GP good, and got a chance to talk.
There are some excellent threads here, on boards, that might help a bit too. I wish you all the very best, please take good care of yourself.

Dutchess

Thanks again all, it's actually really nice to get the support here on Boards.

Update on the citalopram: it seems to be making me quite sleepy. Or maybe I'm just not getting proper sleep...

Regarding filling that hole: We have a cat alright and that's nice. Thinking of fostering a second one for the local rescue. But they're not very involved, do their own thing and such. I work full time so a dog wouldn't really work....

Hobbies and "doing stuff" is quite difficult for me. I do have big motivational issues. I have started things but I get easily discouraged. So if I am not too good at in the beginning, or I have a negative experience, I think that will never change and it's not worth continuing. So then I might quit and when I do that I worry about if I've made the other people involved angry by flaking so going back is no longer an option because that would mean confrontation...:eek:
I get issues with and resentful of people quite easily too when I don't know where I stand with them. I hate hate hate not getting replies to messages and stuff...

My my, I do sound mental when I read it all back.

Mr_Spaceman

I'm interested to hear how you're getting on with the Citalopram, Duchess.

I was prescribed it a week ago and have put off taking it. I know it probably has it's uses but I'm very, very wary of the side effects and longer term implications, I suppose.

I'm going to do some other things in terms of dealing with how I'm feeling right now, and at least I have the meds in my armoury if I do have that "fcuk it" moment.

Just hard to know what to do for the best really.

Dutchess

Hey Mr_Spaceman, I guess it's still early to tell. I have only taken 8 tablets so far. Upped my first week dose of 10mg to 20mg last night.
I felt quite angsty and jittery the first day or so but that could have also been due to being very nervous about going on them. Other than that I have been fairly tired, yawning a lot. Feel actually a bit hungover waking up.

I started taking them as I just cannot muster up the motivation to do those other things you are referring to. I'm hoping that once these kick in properly (can take good few weeks), I can start building up a life to be happy with and come off them then.

witchqueen

Citalopram can take up to 4 weeks to work properly. Did your GP increase from 10 to 20mg? Don't go off them without speaking to your GP, as far as I know you need to take them for a minimum of 6 months. I've been on Citalopram 3 times over the last 10 years each time between 6 and 12 months at 10mg. Listen to your body and keep your GP updated on everything especially if you think there are side effects every body responds differently.

You can still do a lot to help yourself. I know from my own eperience that motivation is a b***** but really try to kick your back side and do something you like. Exercise is good go for walks, yoga or start running if your body is tired the mind will slow down too. You don't have to join clubs or start a hobby that involves other people, find something you can enjoy. Crafting and painting did it for me, whenever I feel down I get the paint brush out

Good luck OP

Dutchess

Hi witchqueen, thanks for the reply! It's nice to hear from someone who can relate.
Yes my prescription was for 10mg the first week and 20mg after. I'll see the GP next Friday and I'll update her on my side effects then.

Regarding doing things, I enjoy crafting and painting too though I find it hard to sit down for it. Same with meditation. Lots of things are enjoyable once I'm doing them but starting is the problem. Exercise for its own sake I find quite boring but I know it's good and I should do more. I guess I never really enjoyed it though, even as a child. But I love animals, I volunteer to walk dogs, look after abandoned horses...I'd love to be with animals and nature more...