So bad at interviews and it's taking over my life

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I'm not even sure what I expect from writing this... But if nothing else it might make me feel better just getting it off my chest.
In a nutshell... I'm just awful at interviews and the anxiety and fear around this I starting to take over.
I've just finished a postgraduate course and I received a great first class honours degree. On paper I think I'm a strong candidate. But whenever I get to the interview stage I always mess up so bad.

It's actually hard to explain what happens me. It's partly to do with nerves and anxiety around my performance as I'm really not good at thinking on the spot. So if they ask me a question I'm not prepared for then I panic and freeze and can't think of anything to say. But sometimes they ask questions that I just don't know what they even mean and I always get the feeling that my answers are off topic and rambling and not answering what they are asking.

I've had four interviews and three out of four went AWFUL... the feedback was horrific. One out of the three wasn't too bad but it was to get onto my postgraduate course so I actually new what they'd ask before I went in (I knew someone else who'd done the interview before me). I know it doesn't sound like I've much experience but i had similar problems throughout my postgrad... Any presentation I did I always squirmed during the question part and really messed up on my final presentation so my confidence is just ruined at this stage.

I know if someone else asked me advice on this problem I'd tell them to practice... But I practiced LOADS for my last interview and it was a car crash! I'd also tell them to go see a professional who can practice with them... But I've already done this a few times already but never found that it made a difference either...

Like I said, I'm not sure what I expect here but I do feel better having got it off my chest and if someone does have some advice I'd be so so grateful... I feel as though my life is on hold at the moment and all that's standing in my way is my performance in interviews. I have three interviews coming up and I know I am actually a really good candidate.... But I just don't seem to be able to give this impression when it counts :-(

Rubberchikken

2 good things.
1 you managed to succeed in college and 2 you know you're a really good candidate, so follow your own advice - practice and you'll get there.

Could you go through practice 'interviews' with a friend/s? More times you do it the easier it will become.

Good luck

Lux23

An interviewer doesn't want to see you fail, they want you to succeed. I don't come across well in interviews either, not because of not being able to answer questions, it's just I'm probably fairly stand offish until I get to know someone so interviews are a weird set up for me.

I honestly don't know what to say to you other than maybe mention your nerves when you get to an interview, a decent employer will take that into account.

macplato

Hateinterviews wrote: »

I know I am actually a really good candidate.... But I just don't seem to be able to give this impression when it counts :-(

This is the key, OP. Instead of focusing on impressing the interviewer, focus on the fact that you are a really good candidate. As someone with years of experience in recruitment, I can tell you this: an interviewer doesn't want to be impressed by you, he or she wants to know if you are able to do the job well. In my experience, people who interview very well tend not to perform as well after they are hired (except maybe for sales people!), I heard this mentioned by other recruiters and hiring managers, so there probably is something to it.

Look at it this way - you and your interviewer share the same goal during the interview: they really want to find the right person for the job, and they hope it is you; you hope it is you, too, so you just need to show them that after they hire you, you will do the job well.

Again, focus on the job that you will be doing, not on the interview. If you don't understand a question that is being asked, say: "My apologies, I'm a bit nervous, could you repeat the question, please?" - usually this results in the interviewer rephrasing the question, so this may help. If you still don't understand, just say "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand the question", then they will definitely rephrase it. Don't be afraid to ask for a few seconds to think about your answer, if you need to do that. Imagine that the questions are being asked by a good friend, and answer in the same way as if you were to answer someone you are at ease with.

Remember, they are looking for a person who will do the job well, and they really want it to be you! They don't want to keep interviewing people, they want to have the position filled with the minimum work involved. If indeed you are going to do the job well for them, you are actually doing them a favour for being there. You are an asset!

LegacyUser

Try to stop building it up in your head as a really formal daunting "INTERVIEW" where you are going to get grilled and interrogated.

Try thinking of it more as a "conversation" instead. A two-way thing.

A conversation where the person is just asking you some questions about yourself and your work and you are answering as best you can, but not answering as though it is a 'test' - imagine it more like you explaining/chatting to a person you just met about yourself and your work.

Obviously don't be too informal and become cocky or swear casually! But say you were at a party or some event and just ended up chatting to a new person in the same field as yourself, and the topic turned to your past work and education.
Each of you could possibly end up talking about subjects you both really enjoyed at college, or a few stories about difficult or awkward situations you experienced in work and how you dealt with them, you might also end up chatting about interests/hobbies you have.

Now imagine that same conversation in an interview setting where you are professionally dressed etc. It is roughly the same same conversation, the only difference being you maybe up the formality by one notch, and throw in a few of the interview buzzwords for your strengths and skills, and you pay more attention to have good posture and smile more, express things with a bit more enthusiasm etc.

Stop thinking of the interviewer as being some powerful being that you have to face. They are just another person that is hoping to speak with you to glean information from you in a conversation. (albeit a rather formulatic conversation)
And as I already mentioned this is a two way conversation, you have a chance to ask questions at the end too. Try to stop thinking of it as being grilled and try to see it more like an informative (slightly formal) chat instead.

Lawstudent21

Hateinterviews wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I'm not even sure what I expect from writing this... But if nothing else it might make me feel better just getting it off my chest.
In a nutshell... I'm just awful at interviews and the anxiety and fear around this I starting to take over.
I've just finished a postgraduate course and I received a great first class honours degree. On paper I think I'm a strong candidate. But whenever I get to the interview stage I always mess up so bad.

It's actually hard to explain what happens me. It's partly to do with nerves and anxiety around my performance as I'm really not good at thinking on the spot. So if they ask me a question I'm not prepared for then I panic and freeze and can't think of anything to say. But sometimes they ask questions that I just don't know what they even mean and I always get the feeling that my answers are off topic and rambling and not answering what they are asking.

I've had four interviews and three out of four went AWFUL... the feedback was horrific. One out of the three wasn't too bad but it was to get onto my postgraduate course so I actually new what they'd ask before I went in (I knew someone else who'd done the interview before me). I know it doesn't sound like I've much experience but i had similar problems throughout my postgrad... Any presentation I did I always squirmed during the question part and really messed up on my final presentation so my confidence is just ruined at this stage.

I know if someone else asked me advice on this problem I'd tell them to practice... But I practiced LOADS for my last interview and it was a car crash! I'd also tell them to go see a professional who can practice with them... But I've already done this a few times already but never found that it made a difference either...

Like I said, I'm not sure what I expect here but I do feel better having got it off my chest and if someone does have some advice I'd be so so grateful... I feel as though my life is on hold at the moment and all that's standing in my way is my performance in interviews. I have three interviews coming up and I know I am actually a really good candidate.... But I just don't seem to be able to give this impression when it counts :-(

My doctor prescribed me with something to help me relax in interviews and during presentations and it was 100% effective...aĺlowed for my actual personality to shine through. I know exactly what you mean about freezing up. I would literally have been mid-way through a sentence and I cant think of a word for what i want to say and I would just have to move on! Hope this helps.

yaya*

I saw that programme "how to be happy" on rte recently. In part of it, they were talking about a piece of research that showed that standing in what they called a "power position" (legs spread, hands on hips, shoulders back, was one of them) for 2 mins, increases your testosterone levels and decreases your corstisol (stress hormone) levels by 20-something percent. Do that in a toilet just before you go in to an interview and it should help to increase your ability and success!

Good luck!!

Cantremember

Lux23 wrote: »

An interviewer doesn't want to see you fail, they want you to succeed. I don't come across well in interviews either, not because of not being able to answer questions, it's just I'm probably fairly stand offish until I get to know someone so interviews are a weird set up for me.

I honestly don't know what to say to you other than maybe mention your nerves when you get to an interview, a decent employer will take that into account.

When I interview I don't mind seeing people fail. I'm not there to mentor: I'm there to find the best fit for the role we have in mind. Someone who gets flustered in an interview situation will have trouble in any seriously pressured environment. The solution for the OP isn't encouraging noises on boards, it's getting to the root of your anxiety and getting it sorted, if need be professionally. OP you have a first class degree: you have high intelligence, so start applying that outside your academic role to your career.

gormdubhgorm

An interview is like a 20 - 30 min show you have to put on. Most general interview questions can be pre-prepared. It works out at about 20 possible questions. Like where do you see yourself in five years time? What are your strengths?
They can all be pre-prepared and learnt off. Base it on your experiences. A lot of the stuff can seem very "David Brent" from the office. But its that simple you won't be nervous if you pre-prepare the general answers. Give examples based on your employment.

Also it is very important that you know your own CV backwards and forwards.
If you don't know an answer to a question simply say you don't know.
Also try to Slow down your speech because when you are nervous you speak faster. Also this will give you more time to think.

When you are asked have you any other questions. Ask them a question you had about the company or something you would like clarified about the company.

Good Luck.:)