Calculating Child Maintenance

Elsiemay

I have a teenager from a previous relation and have since married and have 3 more children with my husband. I broke up with my first child's father when they were a toddler and have always managed to sort maintenance issues out between us, out of court, but i have always had to go looking for the money, sometimes waiting weeks or a month and there has never been any consistency on when i get the money. As i am going to confront him to have a more definite day/date to receive maintenance i need to gather any information on maintenance and how it is calculated and paid to the mother. As i have 3 other children i need to know what expenses are factored into calculating maintenance, all my bills/expenses etc factored into it or only expenses which relate to my first child? I want to be as fair as possible on this but not be a complete push over either which i feel i have been in the past.

goz83

Maintenance for your teenager will not include your other children or, for the most part, your domestic bills.

It is calculated on what the father is reasonably able to pay, while maintaining his own life.

I attended court with a friend who has a child with another woman. But he also has two other kids with his then girlfriend, now wife. He was on social welfare at the time, living in a council house. He was ordered to pay €20 a week, which I thought was extremely low, taking into account that he would have spent close to that on cigarettes between himself and his partner on a daily basis.

The system is crooked here. It is totally unfair to men who want access to their children. And when it comes to maintenance, it is also a joke. If i were you, i would just be seeking a promise of more regular payments, assuming you're satisfied with the amount. If you don't genuinely need the money in timely fashion, then I would say that the stress of courts might not be worth it, as you may well end up with much lower payments.

Elsiemay

Thanks for advise goz83.

I may have worded it slightly wrong where i state i have 3 other children, i definetly know i dont factor them into the cost. Just confused where some website sites offer a sort of guidance expenses sheet for helping to calculate a fair maintenance amount and it includes Elec. bills, mortgage repayments etc and how i calculate the amount which concerns only my first child?

Yes, maintenance and father's rights are such a grey area in this country. I am happy with the amount i currently get, thats not really the issue, but having failed after a decade of dealing with this to have my childs father pay up on any sort of a regular basis without having to hunt him down or beg and be told 'not this week' etc. i am losing patience and find it a little degrading to be honest. I dont get to choose what weeks i do and dont care for our child. My teenager never stays with the father, sees him for a few hours or day on odd weekends and he has very little parental responsibility other than the money he pays (eventually) and the odd weekend trip.

He just doesnt get it and im afraid going through the courts might be the only way of getting anything on a regular basis. And the urgency for money is because i really need it, my husband is currently unemployed and in court i know that my situation and expenses would be taken into account as well and the fathers.

goz83

Your ex sounds like an unreliable loser. If you're happy with the amount you receive, then you're going about it the wrong way imo. Forget about the calculations and seek regular payments instead. Maybe a standing order could be put in place so the agreed amount is paid weekly/monthly without you having to chase him so often. That might help you to avoid court. I hope it works out for you and that you find a way through. Chasing money is stressful at the best of times.