Any Useless Skills ?

Heckler

I can tell to the minute any day or night, i.e. if i wake up in the middle of the night I know exactly what time it is to the minute.

Anyone else got useless "talents" ?

If so, Share !!

Zed Bank

I can turn my eyelids inside out.

Sir Arthur Daley

Heckler wrote: »

I can tell to the minute any day or night, i.e. if i wake up in the middle of the night I know exactly what time it is to the minute.

You a talking clock?

catallus

Heckler wrote: »

I can tell to the minute any day or night, i.e. if i wake up in the middle of the night I know exactly what time it is to the minute.

I call bullshít!

Ok then, what time is it now, so?

_Redzer_

I speak Irish fluently, and it's going to do nothing to help me find a job

Jesus Wept

no you can't

WilyCoyote

_Redzer_ wrote: »

I speak Irish fluently, and it's going to do nothing to help me find a job

Have you tried being an overseas reporter at the bottom of The Kola Superdeep Borehole for TnaG?

SureYWouldntYa

I have the power to convince people to do what I want, by saying four simple words

A Greedy Algorithm

I recently ran a mile in 3 minutes 58.2 seconds.

carzony

I can get hard at a moments notice..

ButtersSuki

After dislocating my shoulder for the billionth time I can pretty much pop it out of the socket and back in again pain free - it actually happens in my sleep sometimes. Think Mel Gibson escaping from the straight-jacket in Lethal Weapon (minus the pain of course). On the same arm I can twist it at the elbow joint in all sorts of ways that are not in most people's range of movement (another accident) which can and has the effect of making some squeamish people puke.

Neither of those are on my CV though.

ButtersSuki

A Greedy Algorithm wrote: »

I recently ran a mile in 3 minutes 58.2 seconds.

Did you start at 02:30:00 this morning?

DougPeterson

carzony wrote: »

I can get hard at a moments notice..

So someone doesn't have to rub you up the wrong way at all?! You can just instantly turn into the big man and start throwing your weight around?

_Redzer_

WilyCoyote wrote: »

Have you tried being an overseas reporter at the bottom of The Kola Superdeep Borehole for TnaG?

Ya, if that's getting paid to be overseas in a bar reporting on whatever I feel like

Heckler

i heart chewy louie wrote: »

no you can't

Really i can. To the minute. No matter after being on the beer, stone cold sober. When I wake up i guess the time and 99% of the time i'm within one minute most ever has been 3 out. Useless talent. not even a talent. Just odd.

recylingbin

I can run into people.
Not a skill, but reckon i could play rugby, except I'm straight.

--LOS--

Heckler wrote: »

I can tell to the minute any day or night, i.e. if i wake up in the middle of the night I know exactly what time it is to the minute.

Anyone else got useless "talents" ?

If so, Share !!

That would be quiet useful though no? Having a good intuition for time, you'd know if you were running late or not, you'd have a realistic idea of how long it takes to do things, you'd be able to manage your time better etc

I think a lot of people like to think they have that skill

entropi

--LOS-- wrote: »

That would be quiet useful though no? Having a good intuition for time, you'd know if you were running late or not, you'd have a realistic idea of how long it takes to do things, you'd be able to manage your time better etc

I think a lot of people like to think they have that skill

But you're so good at astrology :pac:

--LOS--

entropi wrote: »

But you're so good at astrology :pac:

I can't think of any useless skills, not even astromonology. I feel useless because of that ironically lol.

Oranage2

_Redzer_ wrote: »

I speak Irish fluently, and it's going to do nothing to help me find a job

I got a job and wage increase because I spoke Irish. Rare but it does happen.

Elegant Elliot Offen

I can fart the theme of murder she wrote

djflawless

I can move my kneecap to the side of my leg

GERALD GIRAFFE

There's no such thing as a useless skill! Having said that; I can wrap my neck around my leg with little to no discomfort.

diograis

recylingbin wrote: »

I can run into people.
Not a skill, but reckon i could play rugby, except I'm straight.

only gay people play rugby?

I must join.

fish fingers

I can draw a really good Donald duck

Arthur Beesley

Elegant Elliot Offen wrote: »

I can fart the theme of murder she wrote

Great, but does it smell like murder she wrote?

ToddyDoody

I have very strong pee pressure. I can pee over the stall from the outside.

SweetChaos

djflawless wrote: »

I can move my kneecap to the side of my leg

I can do that too!

Also I can bite my own toenails (i don't actually do it but the option is there in case I need to)

FairytaleGirl

I have a really really good sense of smell. I can guess what's cooking and 99% of the time I'm completely right. I used to live above a friend of mine and text her to tell her what she was cooking every night, she used to be dumbfounded!

Suppose it is a bit useful, I tend to smell things before other people so I might save my house from burning down some day!

Shane-KornSpace

Similarly, op, when I wake up I have a good idea of what time it is - to the hour, not the minute.

PizzamanIRL

I can cover half of my nose with my bottom lip.

shruikan2553

I'm decent enough at changing my voice. Which I suppose wouldn't be useless in a voice acting job but there's no chance of that happening so it is pretty useless until I get a split personality disorder.

Buzz Killington the third

I can twist my bits to make them look like a hamburger!

BeerWolf

catallus wrote: »

I call bullshít!

Ok then, what time is it now, so?

It's time for breakfast.

dgt

I can turn my tongue upside down

LeBash

Im a quailified spear maker

RoryMurphyJnr

I can hang a spoon on the end of my nose

BeerWolf

LeBash wrote: »

Im a quailified spear maker

You must be really good at polishing your own spear...

elefant

Heckler wrote: »

I can tell to the minute any day or night, i.e. if i wake up in the middle of the night I know exactly what time it is to the minute.

Anyone else got useless "talents" ?

If so, Share !!

How can you possibly consider this a useless skill?

If you were born a couple of thousand years ago you'd have been the most valuable man in the empire. Even now I'm struggling to think of a more useful talent anyone could possibly have by just using their brain (telekinesis and mind-bullets aside obviously).

Unfortunately, I don't believe you.

I can tell the right time to within ten minutes by looking at the sun. A doubly useless skill at night.

Also I'm always right. 100% of the time, I know what's best and I know the right answer/course of action. I list this as a useless skill because no one ever listens.

Shenshen

I can bend my little fingers while keeping all other fingers stretched straight.

I can bend my thumb forwards till it touches my arm.

I can also carve a spoon out of a piece of wood.

Also, my husband claims I'm a cat-whisperer.

Heckler

elefant wrote: »

How can you possibly consider this a useless skill?

If you were born a couple of thousand years ago you'd have been the most valuable man in the empire. Even now I'm struggling to think of a more useful talent anyone could possibly have by just using their brain (telekinesis and mind-bullets aside obviously).

Unfortunately, I don't believe you.

Honest to God. It wierds me out sometimes. I'll wake up in a dark bedroom, say to myself its such and such a time and 99% of the time i'm on the money.

Dunno why you think its that useful. Never found a use for it yet .

BrokenArrows

Heckler wrote: »

I can tell to the minute any day or night, i.e. if i wake up in the middle of the night I know exactly what time it is to the minute.

Anyone else got useless "talents" ?

If so, Share !!

I can do that too, its generally easy enough to look at my phone which tells me the time to the minute!!

Seriously that's a pretty cool trick if you can do it.

House of Blaze

I can make a realistic 'creaky floorboard' fart noise using my just my hands.

Mr. CooL ICE

I can fit 8 pringles into my mouth, seal my lips, and remove them again without breaking a single one.