Wife cheated, marriage over

fruitshot

OUTOFSYNC wrote: »

Just drop her stuff and see if she'll let it go.

Do you think she has financial designs on the house ? It's hard to stay focused when you are upset but try to stay polite and respectful.

hi sorry to here your delama...im at present in a marriage that my wife cheated and walked out after been caught,,,gone 6 days and is telling the world about the monster I am,,i have 3 grown ups that cant believe it,,,i went to solicitor yesterday and they said she get half of everything,,,weird law,,,,im ****ed,,,,

<Mod Note: OP please don't hijack other threads, I have given you your own and every response after it.>

daisybelle2008

fruitshot wrote: »

hi sorry to here your delama...im at present in a marriage that my wife cheated and walked out after been caught,,,gone 6 days and is telling the world about the monster I am,,i have 3 grown ups that cant believe it,,,i went to solicitor yesterday and they said she get half of everything,,,weird law,,,,im ****ed,,,,

Of course she is entitled to half of everything, why wouldn't she be?

fruitshot

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Of course she is entitled to half of everything, why wouldn't she be?

are your grown up children entitled to give evediance or a statement on your behalf,,,im getting a separation and my wife can go or do what she wants,,,but my solicitor said in reguards the house my wife can by my half,,if she can,,,or I can buy her half which I wont so it will get sold,,,that could take time,,,you have or maybe not pay her maintainance the amount is a guess,,,,your assets are halved so if you have something is yours get rid of it,,,i don't want my wife back I could not stomach even looking at her,,so I am ok about the split,,,,

daisybelle2008

fruitshot wrote: »

are your grown up children entitled to give evediance or a statement on your behalf,,,im getting a separation and my wife can go or do what she wants,,,but my solicitor said in reguards the house my wife can by my half,,if she can,,,or I can buy her half which I wont so it will get sold,,,that could take time,,,you have or maybe not pay her maintainance the amount is a guess,,,,your assets are halved so if you have something is yours get rid of it,,,i don't want my wife back I could not stomach even looking at her,,so I am ok about the split,,,,

Hi Fruitshot,

I would say firstly, I know it is going to be hard especially with cheating and everything so raw, but try to keep the emotion out of it and definitely don't think about involving your kids in making statements against her. It will get messier.
Do your best to be practical. Firstly she is entitled to half, but one or either of you buying each other out as soon as possible, is a good way to get things moving amicably and cutting ties.
How old are your children? That is important as the property is considered family residence until they leave college. Do try to keep things amicable as best you can, think of the longer picture
...

fruitshot

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

Hi Fruitshot,

I would say firstly, I know it is going to be hard especially with cheating and everything so raw, but try to keep the emotion out of it and definitely don't think about involving your kids in making statements against her. It will get messier.
Do your best to be practical. Firstly she is entitled to half, but one or either of you buying each other out as soon as possible, is a good way to get things moving amicably and cutting ties.
How old are your children? That is important as the property is considered family residence until they leave college. Do try to keep things amicable as best you can, think of the longer picture
...

my kids are grown ups,,29,,27,,25,,,there has to be a law or some support for this type of thing,,,my wife is out of control,,and my kids have more or less disowned her,,they have seen her behaviour over the last number of years,,,but there is not a lot I can do to help things,,,i haven't spoken to my wife or text in 10 days,,,and I wont be,,,texts and voice mail can be very tricky,,,but I am happy to get her out of my life,,,50/50 would be a good price,,,

fruitshot

one other thing,,,your wife leaves the family home ,mouths about how bad you are,,and is making you out to be a monster,,,has she ever before got the police or social workers involved,,,if you done this it would be slander,,,so how does it be ok for the wife to do and say what she wants and the husband can say or do nothing,,,,how long are you married,,,,

daisybelle2008

fruitshot wrote: »

my kids are grown ups,,29,,27,,25,,,there has to be a law or some support for this type of thing,,,my wife is out of control,,and my kids have more or less disowned her,,they have seen her behaviour over the last number of years,,,but there is not a lot I can do to help things,,,i haven't spoken to my wife or text in 10 days,,,and I wont be,,,texts and voice mail can be very tricky,,,but I am happy to get her out of my life,,,50/50 would be a good price,,,

Ok the fact the are grown up makes things easier legally. If you are happy to get her out of your life 50/50 is as good as it gets. Definitely try to get in contact with Mediation and support services. The Useful Links thread stickied in this forum gives loads of information. Best of luck, just remember you might need to make some small financial concessions, in reality 50/50 is a little subjective, but think of the bigger picture and take the higher road.

daisybelle2008

fruitshot wrote: »

one other thing,,,your wife leaves the family home ,mouths about how bad you are,,and is making you out to be a monster,,,has she ever before got the police or social workers involved,,,if you done this it would be slander,,,so how does it be ok for the wife to do and say what she wants and the husband can say or do nothing,,,,how long are you married,,,,

Fruitshot, organise a counsellor for yourself, there is too much going on at the moment in your situation. There is a lot of bitterness here on your side that is going to make the legal separation very messy. Looks like you both want to hurt and punish each other.
I had a 'fairly' amicable separation and divorce.

fruitshot

yes but remember I also have to live,,,,and appartments and food and bill are no less than those of a woman,,,i have to go out keep in touch,,,oh I forgot to mention that I have a 5 year old grandson that lives with me and my wife full time,,my wife hasn't even phoned as to how he is,,,his ma is a addict,,,the social workers have told me not to let him out of my site,,,so im going on Tuesday to try get guardianship of him even only until things get sorted,,,,we have him since he was 7 months old my wife didn't want to rear another family,,,but is saying different know but still walked out on him,,asked to have her clothes packed and hasn't collected them,,hasn't collected mail,,,just been a pest,,looking for poor me,,,,she wont be begged to come back cos I don't want her or this house,,,im 100% commited to my grandson and have been his main carer for almost 4 years,,,,my wife don't work and my daughter took him after playschool,,,,

daisybelle2008

Hi Fruitshot,

I don't believe that anyone should be treated better just because of their gender. Put that aside, you are entitled to get a fair agreement, but at the moment so much is up in the air. Just take one day at a time and don't make any big decisions till the dust settles. I'm not sure about the guardianship of your grandson, as you are married I don't think you can do that independently of your wife, anyway get some good legal advise and cooperate as much as possible with your wife, hard as that will be, it will make the separation easier and get her out of your hair quicker.. Good luck.