Another dumped thread...

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I've just been dumped by my BF of two years. It's been an awful shock and i feel absolutely gutted as I did really love him and was into him. I guess the signs have been there the past few months or more, I choose to put them to one side and try amke an effort. The text became less frequent and were much colder. Less inclined to want to spend time together or plan things, even though we already lived over 2 hours apart.
Not sure what anyone can say, i guess just i am just typing here to try help myself and get it out there a bit. I'm a quite kind of a bloke who doesn't readily discuss his feelings.

Merkin

Aww sorry to hear that. I've nothing really to say bar telling you that you won't always feel so pants about it. Surround yourself with family and friends and if you can, open up to a good friend if you need to talk about how you are feeling. You will be fine xx

LegacyUser

Merkin wrote: »

Aww sorry to hear that. I've nothing really to say bar telling you that you won't always feel so pants about it. Surround yourself with family and friends and if you can, open up to a good friend if you need to talk about how you are feeling. You will be fine xx

Thanks so much for the kind words and taking the time to reply. My ma has been great, you can always depend on family during times like this. And I've not contacted him since and have been strong on that regard at least.

LegacyUser

Just to add to this I guess is the suddeness of it and the unwillingness of him to talk to me about his concerns or even bother try work through some of them. I was basically told that even though he found me attractive, he had been having doubts about us the past few months (the signs were ther if I look back) and he felt we had nothing in common and that the big distance (over 2 hours drive) was an issue and he could never see himself living or sharing his house with anyone either. It all came as a hammerblow to the heart to me as I did really love this person and did see a future there. It was allover in about 5 minutes and it was obvious he couldn't wait to leave and his decision was made. I didn't feel at the time there was any point arguing this and let him go.

Merkin

Awww, must have been such a shock. The thing is, he admitted that he'd been thinking that way for a while when you were just blind sided by it. It's shocking and bewildering and I think that shock makes the whole situation worse. There you are, happy in your relationship with someone you love and then BAM! You've the rug pulled out from under you.

It's great though that you have your lovely Mum to talk to, Mums are great. It's also great that already, in retrospect, you've reached the realisation that maybe it wasn't as perfect as you thought and that you ignored warning signs etc. it will make getting over him easier.

My only additional advice is to sever ties and you will get over him much quicker. Sounds like you are doing great anyway, I know it's a cliche but time is a great healer xx

LegacyUser

Merkin wrote: »

Awww, must have been such a shock. The thing is, he admitted that he'd been thinking that way for a while when you were just blind sided by it. It's shocking and bewildering and I think that shock makes the whole situation worse. There you are, happy in your relationship with someone you love and then BAM! You've the rug pulled out from under you.

It's great though that you have your lovely Mum to talk to, Mums are great. It's also great that already, in retrospect, you've reached the realisation that maybe it wasn't as perfect as you thought and that you ignored warning signs etc. it will make getting over him easier.

My only additional advice is to sever ties and you will get over him much quicker. Sounds like you are doing great anyway, I know it's a cliche but time is a great healer xx

Thanks a million Merkin, you're very good. Yea it was the shock, I knew things were not as they had been but I was tring to make more of an effort etc but he wasn't willing, mind was made up I'd say. We were at a wedding a month ago there and it was cold compared to other wedding we had been to where things were great between us.
No not contacted him and I've given this advice to several others not to contact so I may practice what I preach. It's so so hard but i agree it's the only way.

LegacyUser

dumped 2014 wrote: »

Hi all,

I've just been dumped by my BF of two years. It's been an awful shock and i feel absolutely gutted as I did really love him and was into him. I guess the signs have been there the past few months or more, I choose to put them to one side and try amke an effort. The text became less frequent and were much colder. Less inclined to want to spend time together or plan things, even though we already lived over 2 hours apart.
Not sure what anyone can say, i guess just i am just typing here to try help myself and get it out there a bit. I'm a quite kind of a bloke who doesn't readily discuss his feelings.

.

Hey, just to let you know you're not alone busy, just been dumped after 3 1/2years. Totally out of the blue no warning signs, told me she loved me every day still receiving loved up texts the works. Then a week later bam, over. So I guess I just wanted to to tell you you're not alone. Best advice I can give is just try and forget, not easy I know but dwelling on it almost ruined me, I'm still not over it but I found once I stopped reliving every little thing I could have done differently things started improving. I only hope things work out for ya man, take a wee bit of time for yourself and hopefully you'll meet someone who deserves you. Take care man.

Grandeeod

Feel for you OP, but remember that we really don't know what goes on in the minds of partners at the best of times. Hope you find peace.

Dandelion515

Sorry to hear this OP, it sounds like it was a terrible shock. As others have said time is a great healer and that is genuinely true! Try to remind yourself of that. Do sever the ties if you can and try take this time to look after yourself and do what you enjoy doing. Great that you have your ma to talk to as well

LegacyUser

Thanks guys,

Back in work today anyhow and that's a distraction. I think that's it, it's like the rug has been pulled from under me and that all the possible hope and dreams i might have imagined with this person have gone and I'm going to be back at square bloody one.