lost

hereford

Im looking for advice im trying to spice things up in the bedroom my wife is extremely shy I have bought lingerie and no success .she has a good figure and I try to tell her I find her sexy but nothing ? Please help

macplato

Does your wife want to spice things up as well, OP, or just you? The way you are going about it could be quite off putting for your wife, because it sends a clear message: "You don't act sexy enough, I need you to change", and if your wife is shy already, this will push her even further into her shell.

What does your wife think about your sex life? What's the reason you want to spice things up?

hereford

she is happy enough the way things are .it would do no harm to spice things up

Merkin

So you want your wife to wear sexy knickers for you in order to spice things up?

What do you propose to do to spice things up?

strobe

Have you asked her if there is any little thing she might like to try or might like to do different? I get the vibe off your post that you may be coming across kind of in a "things are not good enough, be more interesting" kind of way... rather than a gentler "is there anything you've ever thought about that you think you might like to try at some point" way. Do you think there might be some truth in that?

macplato

hereford wrote: »

she is happy enough the way things are .it would do no harm to spice things up

Ah, you see, that's important. She is happy with the way things are. You are not. So now you need to start talking and exploring - to see if there are things you both might be interested in trying out, to make your sex life more interesting.

Right now you are going about it the wrong way, by trying to change your wife to suit your fantasy. She doesn't seem to share your fantasy, unfortunately, and if you continue to do this, she will start resenting you.

Start talking, get creative. Find a fantasy that you both share, that's the only way.

hereford

ok time to talk