Do you have to do the pre marriage course ?

J0hnick

Hi,

I'll be getting married in my fiancées home town, and she's always wanted to get married in her local church. The priest who used to be the head of the parish is a lovely guy and was very well liked in the village while he was there, unlike the priest who is currently there who couldn't be more polar opposite.

Anyway, we asked the old priest if he would marry us and he agreed, he even got permission from the new priest to let him perform the ceremony in the church. The old priest also told us that we didn't have to do the pre marriage course, we were glad because we are on a budget, don't have a lot of free time and most of our friends who did do one told us it was a waste of time and money.

My fiancées father met the new priest a few days ago, they got talking about the wedding and what we needed to have ready, and he said we had to do the course. When her father said the we were told we didn't have to he asked "who told you that ?". My fiancées dad didn't say anything in case he jinxed it for us, but when he tried to explain that we work a lot of long awkward hours, the old priests reply was "sure they can't be working all the time".

So long story short, do you have to do this course ?, we'd really rather not but this new priest has a reputation for being a right pain in the arse.

Thanks in advance.

BrianBoru00

If its a catholic ceremony then yes. AFAIK its up to the Bishop to have final say.
Also they may not accept some of the courses.

I wouldn't say its a waste of time for the simple reason that I'm aware of two couples who split up after their pre marriage course. (in one of the cases it was over a disagreement about yes or no to kids).
Amazing that couples have decided to get married with no actual thought as to what obstacles they will face.

My advice would be to ask the priest if he has any stipulation as to which course you do and then book it ASAP. Its going to cost anywhere between €100 and €250.

Ironically I think if a couple is well prepared and ready for marriage they will find it long and boring as they will have discussed all aspects that will be covered.

Berty

Only a small percentage of people get "away with it" but they might miss out on the few hours on couples counselling which is basically what a marriage preparation course is. Most people will get something out of it whether it be a very small thing or not.

Whoever does the church paperwork is the one who has the final say because they have to sign a document saying you've done the necessary preparations. Some churches won't even accept courses done by certain services so it's also worth checking who the local bishop/church wants the course run by.

Usually it's accord which is funded by the catholic church.

whiskeyman

Similar thread recently here.
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057236389

Pistachios & cream

It's the church you are marrying in that needs all the documents including the pre-marriage certificate. IF the parish priest said you didn't have to do it then you would get away with it. However it sounds like your parish priest is a stickler and could make problems if he hasn't all the documentation.

I have the exact opposite issue. The church i'm getting married in the Parish priest says we don't have to do it but i'm pretty sure the priest who is marrying me (Not the parish priest of the church) will want me to do it. I don't fancy lying to him so i'll probably end up doing it.

J0hnick

Thanks for the advise guys.