Breaking up now or later

LegacyUser

My OH and I are very much in love but have to break up. We have done one year of long distance and were prepared for a second one but now situations have changed and it appears that the long distance will be for at least another two years. This is due to career options. We're only in our early 20s and neither of us are willing to give up on goals to be with each other (and we don't resent each other for that). But we know that if I relationship doesn't move onto the next stage soon, living together, it's just going to go stale and we'll both end up unhappy.

My problem is, at the moment we can see each other more or less every weekend and it's so wonderful. But I spend most of the week miserable and lonely, thinking about him. I feel like if I just cut it now (as opposed to waiting til he goes away, as planned) I'll be able to spend the next few months working on myself and getting over him. But he'd be crushed. And I'd be lonely all the time, I don't have any friends where I am at the moment.
And how would I even do it? Do I give him warning "Can't wait to see you tomorrow. BTW breaking up with you on Sunday". Or do I keep it to myself all weekend and pretend everything is hunky dorey while we cuddle and talk about how we wish the summer didn't have to end??

Or do I just leave it as we planned? Enjoy my remaining time with him as best I can and just get over my weeks, which are going to be boring and crappy either way?

I don't know what to do, I feel so cheated by circumstance.

Lainomac

How long were you guys together before the long distance, or have you always done it? Two things can happen here, if you stay with him til' he goes away you might end up kicking yourself that you didn't break up with him a few months before he went and give yourself time to come to terms with it, but if you break up with him now you may end up resenting yourself when he is gone that you didn't spend the last couple of months together. I am going to give you one piece of advice, if he is the one, and I mean the ONE, you wouldn't even consider breaking up with him, you would both just make it work. I know couples who are doing long distance (as in VERY long distance)and they make it work, its not easy, but it is do-able so long as you both have a clear plan and stick to it, then again you are only young, if you don't see yourself staying with him for the long haul then bow out on a high. you say that your week is boring and lonely, is the relationship masking this and that is why you are reluctant to break up with him

LeonardNelson

You will end it anyway, whether you break up now or later the feeling will be the same. What does your heart says? Just follow it, you can make a good decision and you have to make sure that you wont regret it.

Merkin

I'd pull the plug. If you have both agreed that you're not going to continue I see no benefit in dragging the arse out of it. If your own social life is lacking and boring, start from now to use the time normally reserved for your boyfriend in expanding your social circle and making new friends.You're going to find yourself in the same predicament whether it's tomorrow or in a few months so better tackling it head on now.