Losing both parents

millionmystery

Hi,
I recently lost my mother suddenly. My father had passed a few years previously and we were getting on ok. I am finding it very difficult to cope. It was all so sudden and she was perfectly happy and wasn't ill. Is there anything that you found helpful to ease this pain, anything that helped this loneliness, something that worked for you. I don't really know what I'm asking I know no one who's lost both parents or had to deal with losing their only parent left , so suddenly.
Thank you

Galwayguy35

millionmystery wrote: »

Hi,
I recently lost my mother suddenly. My father had passed a few years previously and we were getting on ok. I am finding it very difficult to cope. It was all so sudden and she was perfectly happy and wasn't ill. Is there anything that you found helpful to ease this pain, anything that helped this loneliness, something that worked for you. I don't really know what I'm asking I know no one who's lost both parents or had to deal with losing their only parent left , so suddenly.
Thank you

Sorry for your loss, my situation is similar my father is dead 18 years but my mother died suddenly 7 years ago.

The first 12 months was definately the worst but you will learn to cope with it as time goes on.

Don't try and bottle up your grief, that's what I was doing and it's the worst thing anyone could do.

JupiterKid

Sorry for your loss OP.

I lost my father a couple of weeks ago and my mother died when I was just 15. I have no parents left and to be honest it's heart wrenching.:(

Rubberchikken

My dad died very suddenly when i was 18 and my mom died in her sleep 16 years ago and while the shock and pain have receded i still miss them.
Think this is perfectly normal.

Try to remember all the good times and concentrate on living your life fully. Your parents would only want you to live to the best of your ability.

therealme

My parents both died suddenly and unexpectedly within 3 years of each other, a few years ago.

Honestly I still feel lost. It was a horrendous time.

I find simple things like not going to their house at weekends or for Christmas make me feel SO lonely.

My siblings are good but it's not the same. They are all married with kids so they have their spouses to turn to, I don't.

Nobody can imagine how traumatic the loss of a mother is unless they have been through it.

Life goes on op, enjoy the good days, remember the bad ones do pass too.

Lou.m

millionmystery wrote: »

Hi,
I recently lost my mother suddenly. My father had passed a few years previously and we were getting on ok. I am finding it very difficult to cope. It was all so sudden and she was perfectly happy and wasn't ill. Is there anything that you found helpful to ease this pain, anything that helped this loneliness, something that worked for you. I don't really know what I'm asking I know no one who's lost both parents or had to deal with losing their only parent left , so suddenly.
Thank you

Lost at what to tell you. But sending love. Find love everywhere.
xx

LegacyUser

How are you doing now? I just posted a very similar thread and only saw yours now. Lost my mum last month and dad is dead a long time, it's so hard. I'm an only child too and I now feel I have no roots, no connection to my family. It's tough. Hope you are feeling a bit better. X

Chrome342

Sorry for your loss and be strong @MissHer

millionmystery

MissHer wrote: »

How are you doing now? I just posted a very similar thread and only saw yours now. Lost my mum last month and dad is dead a long time, it's so hard. I'm an only child too and I now feel I have no roots, no connection to my family. It's tough. Hope you are feeling a bit better. X

HI Missher,

I'm so sorry for your loss. These first few weeks will be the absolute hardest. There were days when I was so overwhelmed by loneliness and missing my mother so much I couldn't even breath. It does get easier. Just focus on the good times and know that she is still around you. As silly as it sounds I often felt she was here from things that would happen and things I'd see. It will get easier. Just get through this one day at a time. Talk to friends and tell them how you're feeling. Keep busy as much as you can but when you feel like crying cry. It's hard to imagine ever feeling like things will be ok again but it will. I still find some days, random days, very difficult but I allow myself to cry and then I think of how positive and happy my mother was and what I could feel her say to me.

LegacyUser

Thanks millionmystery, yes I'm trying to do as u said and it does help. There is no easy way out of it I know. Feel quite hard done by and sorry for myself sometimes having no parents or siblings but I know that is not the best way of dealing with it. Thanks for your words and I'm really glad to hear things are improving for you.

heretothere

I have lost both parent, i love listening to their favorite songs and drinking their favorite drinks and visiting. Although my dad was first to go and I couldn't visit for a looooong time, but since mam last year I make a much better effort. But its good to cry, I know I don't do it enough. You sound like you're young (like me) thankfully most people don't understand. I know its hard, I understand x