cant chat to women

LegacyUser

i find it really hard to chat up women. the thing is i am not a bad looking fellow but i find it really hard. even when women are interested in me i still find i difficult. recently a girl who i think liked me asked me to join her in the pub i went into a different pub and said i would be a while then i didnt even chat to her hardly. another night a girl was talking about having a party in hers and told me i could stay there. after a few drinks she hugged me and told me she loved me. as she was heading home i lamely asked if i could join her but by this stage the moment had passed. i dont know if its related but i also feel uncomfortable with hugs either from males or females. i find i just do it mechanically. i had problems with my own family who were in constant conflict. i also live in my head a lot.

how can i find it easier?

Lux23

Can you talk to other men? How about the next time you talk to a girl? Forget that you might fancy her and just talk to her like you would with a friend, minus the bawdy blokie type stuff. Maybe have a look at the news and try to remember some general stories so you have something to talk about. For example, did you hear that James Reilly wants a pack of smokes to be €20, isn't that mad like?

strobe

Don't try to 'chat up' women man. Just talk to them. Try to find out about them, what kind of person they are, what kind of things they like, as Lux says, much the same way you'd talk to a guy you've met, a friend of a friend or whatever. Try to get out of the mind frame that you're 'chatting them up', and just chat. I know it's really hard but try to put any thoughts of where it could lead out of your mind and try to be in the moment and enjoy the talking and getting to know them and the buzzing off them in and of it's self.

LeonardNelson

Just be yourself dude. A conversion will go along. Maybe you'll get quiet for a starter but as time goes by, you can start the talk. I think girls find you mysterious too.