Crap jobs

A cow called Daisy

Bit on news about a remote control helicopter being flown into an irish prison with drugs on it. One of the pprisoners is said to have swallowed some lf these drugs and is being held in isolation until evidence "is produced"
The warder watching this must have one of the crapiest jobs about.

Any other sh**y jobs out there

Captain Chaos

The chaps who work for Dynorod and Superdrain. Just crap day in and day out.

castletownman

The bar staff in the Dail bar.

Must have to listen to some scutter being talked each day.

SEPT 23 1989

A Petardier

kylith

Met a guy once who worked as a turkey wanker.

Since then whenever I'm having a bad day at work I think 'well, at least I don't have to **** turkeys'.

the_monkey

Yeah, I heard about the Turkey wanker one ... must be the worst in the world.

Mr. CooL ICE

Jizz moppers for those private booths at sex shows. That's a pretty bad job

Rasmus

kylith wrote: »

Met a guy once who worked as a turkey wanker.

Since then whenever I'm having a bad day at work I think 'well, at least I don't have to **** turkeys'.

Ok just so I don't have to google it, why do turkeys need to be wanked? Edit: Ugh, done.

Aglomerado

Rasmus wrote: »

Ok just so I don't have to google it, why do turkeys need to be wanked?

Because they can't master-baste themselves?

Buzz Killington the third

Here ya go

urabell

Water meter installation technician

jester77

LordChessington wrote: »

Jizz moppers for those private booths at sex shows. That's a pretty bad job

Yip, seen this in Amsterdam. Was at one of those peep show booths that had a revolving bed in the middle and booths all around it. All the windows were frosted but you could see silhouettes. There was only 1 free booth available, so I went in while my mate waited outside. I put in my guilders and the window opened so I could watch the show. However straight across from me was the silhouette of a dude furiously beating off. I walked out to let my mate in but someone else rudely jumped in. My mate kept walking around until a booth was free, but he returned quickly when he saw the jizz all over the booth window. A minute later we saw a poor lad walking in to the booth with a bucket and mop.

wretcheddomain

Politician

Tabnabs

Worked with a lad whose job used to be shelling prawns. Sounded like the absolute ****est job in the world.

stargazer 68

Article in the paper a few years ago about a British woman living in riyadh. Her job was to take care of the Kings piles!!!!

Collie D

jester77 wrote: »

Yip, seen this in Amsterdam. Was at one of those peep show booths that had a revolving bed in the middle and booths all around it. All the windows were frosted but you could see silhouettes. There was only 1 free booth available, so I went in while my mate waited outside. I put in my guilders and the window opened so I could watch the show. However straight across from me was the silhouette of a dude furiously beating off. I walked out to let my mate in but someone else rudely jumped in. My mate kept walking around until a booth was free, but he returned quickly when he saw the jizz all over the booth window. A minute later we saw a poor lad walking in to the booth with a bucket and mop.

Anyone on a diet should read this post. It has just completely turned my stomach and I don't think I'll ever eat again.


I know there is a smart comment about my post somewhere but can't think of one. I await AH's response.

Lucas Hood

Postman that has to deliver to Labra Park in Ballyfermot.

kylith

Rasmus wrote: »

Ok just so I don't have to google it, why do turkeys need to be wanked? Edit: Ugh, done.

They've been bred so large that they can't get up on the females. Also males would never be able to service enough females to cover the annual demand naturally.

LordChessington wrote: »

Jizz moppers for those private booths at sex shows. That's a pretty bad job

OK, that one's even more horrible.

Davarus Walrus

Call centre work is my idea of hell. On the phone for hours to the public while some manager in a cheap suit goes around talking about churn and call volumes.

Jonny Blaze

Dovies wrote: »

Article in the paper a few years ago about a British woman living in riyadh. Her job was to take care of the Kings piles!!!!

I dunno.

"Attendant to the Royal Piles" has a bit of a ring to it I would say..

Alf. A. Male

kylith wrote: »

They've been bred so large that they can't get up on the females. Also males would never be able to service enough females to cover the annual demand naturally.

Would the females not play ball and gobble them instead?

Specialun

Louis Suarez's dentist

Alf. A. Male

Specialun wrote: »

Louis Suarez's dentist

He was quoted this morning as saying that Suarez asked to have some teeth out recently, but the dentist said "Leave them, they're out far enough as they are".


Anyone seen my coat?

comongethappy

Specialun wrote: »

Louis Suarez's dentist

Cos of the boredom of underemployment?

A cow called Daisy

Dovies wrote: »

Article in the paper a few years ago about a British woman living in riyadh. Her job was to take care of the Kings piles!!!!

Job like that would be a pain in the ar*e

murphydublin

Rectal thermometer tester....each one is tested before sterilization and packing. Definitely the worst job out there!

FTA69

I posted this on a similar thread:

The worst job I ever did was bouncing in a pub in Killorglin in Kerry during Puck Fair. While having been a doorman for a couple of years, this was the first contract I had myself. I arrived on the first day only to be informed that the back room of the pub was full of a group of well-known and dangerous Travellers from Tralee who decided to pop in for a few dozen pints while casually armed to the teeth. After politely remonstrating with the apparent leader of the group they decided to leave before the "shades" came; however one of them attempted to dig me on the way out leading me to grab him in an armlock and turf him out the door; which thankfully I managed to close and lock in time as the lads proceeded to smash three windows in the front of the pub. About three hours later they came back and through a huge firework with nails taped on to it at me as I stood at the door, thus leading to my leg getting cut to sh*t. Thankfully most of them got arrested later on in the day for fighting another group of Travellers from Limerick so I avoided getting a slash-hook in the face for my efforts.

If dealing with violent nomadic lunatics wasn't bad enough, the local farmers and mountain men were nearly as bad. Some of the people there were like something out of a time-warp back to the 1950s; it was like a cartoon portrayal of Irish drunkenness. The bar opened at 7am and closed at around 4am. I had to start on the door at 10am and already had to turn people away for being out of their minds. One day the farmers drove in cattle for sale at 5am and the entire street was covered in cow sh*t. One auld fella actually fell asleep in a pile of sh*t he was so drunk, and tried to attack me because I refused him entry. While attempting to wrestle me in the door he smeared a huge dollop of excrement onto my face. This was at 11am in the morning.

Later that afternoon around lunch time some other man pulled out his dick and p*ssed all over a woman's back. On average I had to throw out at least fifty people, about five of which went peacefully. People openly lit cigarettes in the pub and by the end of it I had to admit defeat and let them smoke in the back room, just as long as the cops couldn't see in the window. Trying to roust them out of the pub at 4am was akin to a life-or-death battle with every sing customer.

At one stage a local character, who announced his name as "Sexy Richard" jumped in over the back wall. Pulled off his top advertising his prison tattoos and dared any man or woman to fight him. After evicting the unruly patron (in which a brief struggle ensued) he came back the next evening and bought me a pint.

Insane place. Insane people. I'll never be back.

guttenberg

murphydublin wrote: »

Rectal thermometer tester....each one is tested before sterilization and packing. Definitely the worst job out there!

I hate to be that guy, but I'm gonna. That is a stupid internet joke that refuses to die. No such job:)

Dovies

Dovies wrote: »

Article in the paper a few years ago about a British woman living in riyadh. Her job was to take care of the Kings piles!!!!

Only slightly better than being http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

Fiolina

I know a girl whose job it is to empty/replace those sanitary bins in ladies toilets. She doesn't seem to have a problem with it, I personally don't think I could do it.

ToddyDoody

Being a sewer worker would be crappy

Jonny Blaze

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Being a sewer worker would be crappy

No need to make a stink about it.

FTA69

FTA69 wrote: »

I posted this on a similar thread:

The worst job I ever did was bouncing in a pub in Killorglin in Kerry during Puck Fair. While having been a doorman for a couple of years, this was the first contract I had myself. I arrived on the first day only to be informed that the back room of the pub was full of a group of well-known and dangerous Travellers from Tralee who decided to pop in for a few dozen pints while casually armed to the teeth. After politely remonstrating with the apparent leader of the group they decided to leave before the "shades" came; however one of them attempted to dig me on the way out leading me to grab him in an armlock and turf him out the door; which thankfully I managed to close and lock in time as the lads proceeded to smash three windows in the front of the pub. About three hours later they came back and through a huge firework with nails taped on to it at me as I stood at the door, thus leading to my leg getting cut to sh*t. Thankfully most of them got arrested later on in the day for fighting another group of Travellers from Limerick so I avoided getting a slash-hook in the face for my efforts.

If dealing with violent nomadic lunatics wasn't bad enough, the local farmers and mountain men were nearly as bad. Some of the people there were like something out of a time-warp back to the 1950s; it was like a cartoon portrayal of Irish drunkenness. The bar opened at 7am and closed at around 4am. I had to start on the door at 10am and already had to turn people away for being out of their minds. One day the farmers drove in cattle for sale at 5am and the entire street was covered in cow sh*t. One auld fella actually fell asleep in a pile of sh*t he was so drunk, and tried to attack me because I refused him entry. While attempting to wrestle me in the door he smeared a huge dollop of excrement onto my face. This was at 11am in the morning.

Later that afternoon around lunch time some other man pulled out his dick and p*ssed all over a woman's back. On average I had to throw out at least fifty people, about five of which went peacefully. People openly lit cigarettes in the pub and by the end of it I had to admit defeat and let them smoke in the back room, just as long as the cops couldn't see in the window. Trying to roust them out of the pub at 4am was akin to a life-or-death battle with every sing customer.

At one stage a local character, who announced his name as "Sexy Richard" jumped in over the back wall. Pulled off his top advertising his prison tattoos and dared any man or woman to fight him. After evicting the unruly patron (in which a brief struggle ensued) he came back the next evening and bought me a pint.

Insane place. Insane people. I'll never be back.

Sounds like mighty craic, could be a spot for a weekend away on the beer

SmilingLurker

Door to door salesman. Getting the door shut in your face, dogs set on you, and once someone went to get their gun. Would not do it again in a million years.

I feel sorry for people in call centres, especially those on complaint lines.

Also anything repetitive that a machine could theoretically do.

Tail Docker

Lucas Hood wrote: »

Postman that has to deliver to Labra Park in Ballyfermot.

It's Labre Park. I had to go in to collect some stuff, was a bit wary, but the people there were grand. I even got a nice cup of tea. Not all boogey-men are actually boogey-men.

c_man

SmilingLurker wrote: »

Also anything repetitive that a machine could theoretically do.

I feel bad for the lads up town holding signs. They could be replaced by a bit of concrete.

Saipanne

Human signpost

gifted

kylith wrote: »

Met a guy once who worked as a turkey wanker.

Since then whenever I'm having a bad day at work I think 'well, at least I don't have to **** turkeys'.

My buddy was one, best man mentioned it in his speech at the buddys wedding, went down like a lead balloon

EyeSight

Fiolina wrote: »

I know a girl whose job it is to empty/replace those sanitary bins in ladies toilets. She doesn't seem to have a problem with it, I personally don't think I could do it.

I used to work in a shop and once a week 2 men with gloves that go up to their shoulders would replace them. They would just walk into the shop, give me a determined nod and do it without saying a word.
They actually replace the whole bin so I don't think it's that bad for them

EyeSight

EyeSight wrote: »

I used to work in a shop and once a week 2 men with gloves that go up to their shoulders would replace them. They would just walk into the shop, give me a determined nod and do it without saying a word.
They actually replace the whole bin so I don't think it's that bad for them

They probably empty it when they get back to the van and swap it at the next premises.

Galwayguy35

An AI man, messy job.

UCDVet

SmilingLurker wrote: »

Door to door salesman. Getting the door shut in your face, dogs set on you, and once someone went to get their gun. Would not do it again in a million years.

I feel sorry for people in call centres, especially those on complaint lines.

Also anything repetitive that a machine could theoretically do.

I did the call centre thing for a while; it's only as bad as you make it. I'd sit in a nice cool office building with a headset and a stack of colouring books. And I'd sit there, and colour, while chatting to people on the phone. After a while, I didn't even mind the people who were upset and yelling at me....the worst was the voicemails (I was mostly doing out-going calls.....so I'd listen to ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.....voicemail. Then I had to hit a button to go to the next call and that screwed up my colouring.

fleet_admiral

Dovies wrote: »

Article in the paper a few years ago about a British woman living in riyadh. Her job was to take care of the Kings piles!!!!

was her name Emma roide?

Alf. A. Male

fleet_admiral wrote: »

was her name Emma roide?

It was and she was married to Nobby Styles.

pragmatic1

SmilingLurker wrote: »

Door to door salesman. Getting the door shut in your face, dogs set on you, and once someone went to get their gun. Would not do it again in a million years.

I feel sorry for people in call centres, especially those on complaint lines.

Also anything repetitive that a machine could theoretically do.

Worked in a call center ,cold calling, trying to get people to buy things. It truly was a horrible job.

However, door to door sales is another animal entirely. God bless anyone that does that for a living and I don't even believe in God.

twinytwo

Anything to do with customer service.... You have people say there is no such thing as a stupid question. Well I would like to inform all of those people how wrong they are.

Iv seen everything from people smashing their goods off the counter to physical violence. All because people dont understand that a) you need a proof of purchase b) warranties do run out etc etc