Nature of relationships today

Tower77

bye

blatantrereg

Tower77 wrote: »

I'm 36, male, and have no want or inclination to be in a relationship. Frankly and based on past experiences with girlfriends I have found relationships to be 60/40 or 70/30 in favor of the woman. I think it should be 50/50 as a partnership based on love, respect and understanding. What has happened in this country ??? I cant for the life of me understand why so many of my friends and significant others have to live in each others pockets. They are always on my case about being single as are some of my famly. Sitting perched on their thrones of marriage with the 'it will happen when you least expect it sanctamonious bull****. I respect their relationships why cant they respect my life choice to be single ?

Taking your post a sentence at a time:
Okay.
The balance in terms of power and contribution in a relationship varies. The tendency to generalise one's own experiences with things like this are part of what leads to repeating them.
I think 50/50 relationships are ideal, and result in the combined unit being stronger. Love, respect and understanding are good things to look for as the basis of a relationship.
There is a mixture of different types of relationships in this country.
That's their business.
That's not their business.
That's annoying.
Maybe they want to feel superior, or if your parents are included then they probably hope for grandkids.

Merkin

Wowsers, that's a whole host of very angry sentiments for such a short post.


You seem to be projecting a lot of your fury towards people in relationships, particularly women. How can you just assume that there is always an uneven balance of 'power' and that people live in each others pockets? Can we really speculate on the very intimate and intricate dynamics of any third party relationship?

Choosing to be single can be a really good decision, an empowering one, and one where a person can concentrate on personal growth. I get the impression you're doing it for the purposes of stewing in your own juices while sneering at anyone in a relationship however...you're going to become very bitter if that's the case and ultimately end up unhappy.

Lou.m

Tower77 wrote: »

I'm 36, male, and have no want or inclination to be in a relationship. Frankly and based on past experiences with girlfriends I have found relationships to be 60/40 or 70/30 in favor of the woman. I think it should be 50/50 as a partnership based on love, respect and understanding. What has happened in this country ??? I cant for the life of me understand why so many of my friends and significant others have to live in each others pockets. They are always on my case about being single as are some of my famly. Sitting perched on their thrones of marriage with the 'it will happen when you least expect it sanctamonious bull****. I respect their relationships why cant they respect my life choice to be single ?

I respect your choice to be single. I think single men can have happy fullfilling lives

Do it for happy reasons though not bitter ones.
People will respect your choices if they see you being happy about them they will be concerned if you seem bitter or aggressive though. It will seem to them like you would like one but you feel women are out to get you. Which might be the reason they are saying you will find one etc. Your narrative is not relationships are cool men and women are cool but I want to be single and do my thing..rather it is women are bad.

You also say you respect their relationships but then you say you don't understand why they have to live in each others pockets.

If you are emotionally self sufficient and happy being single more power to ya
I think being single or being in a relationship is cool. So long as you are happy.
Peace.

Emme

OP, it's your choice to be single but I don't agree that relationships favour women more than men. It depends on the people in each relationship.

You say you're 36 so some of the women you meet socially may mistakenly think you want a relationship. Set them straight immediately even if it means being blunt. If you have a profile on a dating website state this on it. Lots of people go on dating sites not seeking relationships but FB arrangements. That's fine as long as everyone is honest and upfront.

Some guys who don't want relationships mislead women who do want relationships and waste their time. As long as you don't do that there's nothing wrong with your intentions.

You will have to be very clear with your family and friends about this because at 36 you will be seen as highly eligible and people might be trying to set you up with women who do want relationships. It's harder for a woman of 36 to say she doesn't want a relationship than it is for a man but in Ireland it's difficult to avoid the pressure to be paired off.

You might be happier living a country where people's mentality isn't as closed as in Ireland.