Criteria for attending funerals

foxy farmer

I got a call from a buddy this evening asking me if I'd be going to a certain funeral. I never set eyes on the deceased man. He was adamant I should go because we were in the same class in secondary school as one of his daughters. This was over 20 years ago. I came across her a few times in college in the 90s but haven't seen her since. If I didn't know better I'd say my buddy was carrying a torch for her as he said if he went to the burial he might get a chance to talk and catch up with her. Surely this doesn't qualify as a valid reason to attend a funeral. Would ye go?

corkgsxr

No. Almost definitely not.

Frosty McSnowballs

Funeral crashers! Jaysis

El Weirdo

foxy farmer wrote: »

... he said if he went to the burial he might get a chance to talk and catch up with her...

Smooooooooth.

patsypantaloni

I wouldn't feel obliged to go for the sake of the deceased or his family, in those circs, but maybe your friend wants to go and wants moral support, in which case the question is whether you're happy to go as your friend's wingman?

Definately go....... If you have no emotional involvement it's a great place to pick up.

wretcheddomain

The only valid reasons not to go to a funeral is if:

a) You killed said person

or

b) There's no body to bury/incinerate

Should you not fulfil either of these two criteria, you must attend the funeral.

Pwindedd

One thing I've noticed since living in Ireland, you's are all obsessed with funerals. The amount of time off people get for attending...Ahhh. Lightbulb!

Lucifer MorningStar

Sounds like your buddy just want's to get his leg over

Alf. A. Male

The only absolute criteria is that someone should be dead, the rest is anyone's guess.

Capt'n Midnight

foxy farmer wrote: »

Criteria for attending funerals?

You need a body, preferably dead otherwise you'll never hear the end of it


So anyway are you going to be a wingman for your buddy ?

Tail Docker

I don't go to any, that way everyone's equally offended. I don't even intend going to my own.

le la rat

Stay away he has just found out you came across his daughter a few times in the 90s

wazky

Hate funerals, I'll be hard pressed to attend my own to be honest.

One of my neighbours appears to have become a "professional mourner", he goes to about three funerals a week, sometimes he even digs the grave, he is not an undertaker..

wazky

wazky wrote: »

Hate funerals, I'll be hard pressed to attend my own to be honest.

Get cremated on a windy day and be blown away!

shruikan2553

I wouldnt bother. I wouldnt even go to the funerals of some people I went to school with though so my funeral standards might be a bit high by irish standards.

winnie the schtink

find out what kind of soup they are havin,then make up your mind

foxy farmer

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

You need a body, preferably dead otherwise you'll never hear the end of it


So anyway are you going to be a wingman for your buddy ?

Hell no. He's bang out of order on this. The woman will know straight away he's not sympathising. Its tacky.

I had the "rather embarrassing" unintended arrival at a funeral a few months ago..
I was driving home from work and had a colleague with me (he couldn't drive as he'd broken his leg) was going along the road and got stuck behind a couple of slow old wans, they then turned right and there was a man in the road directing traffic! He flagged us to turn, I thought that the road was closed and followed the signals and ended up at a funeral!

It was a bit of a Fr Ted moment...

NUNS! REVERSE REVERSE.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

One of my neighbours appears to have become a "professional mourner", he goes to about three funerals a week, sometimes he even digs the grave, he is not an undertaker..

Impressive dedication there, or maybe even addiction.

Galwayguy35

Deleted User wrote: »

One of my neighbours appears to have become a "professional mourner", he goes to about three funerals a week, sometimes he even digs the grave, he is not an undertaker..

The neighbours always dig the grave, in rural areas anyway.

Sir Arthur Daley

Deleted User wrote: »

One of my neighbours appears to have become a "professional mourner", he goes to about three funerals a week, sometimes he even digs the grave, he is not an undertaker..

He is just going for the free food and booze. Has he a Safe Pass and shovel ticket?

Tardful Slakerly II

No. No reason to go and less than no reason if you're going to be attached to some freak that sees it as an opportunity to pull. No way.

ShooterSF

Deleted User wrote: »

One of my neighbours appears to have become a "professional mourner", he goes to about three funerals a week, sometimes he even digs the grave, he is not an undertaker..

Get worried if he starts asking how you're feeling or suggesting you look a little peeky.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

foxy farmer wrote: »

I came across her a few times in college...

That's all I got from the entire post.

Good job!

Son Of A Vidic

foxy farmer wrote: »

I came across her a few times in college in the 90s but haven't seen her since. If I didn't know better I'd say my buddy was carrying a torch for her.

But have you told your buddy, you came across her a few times in college?

Mickey H

Deleted User wrote: »

Get cremated on a windy day and be blown away!

Smooth.

foggy_lad

There is an art to attending funerals of people who you may only know of from the death notices in the paper rather than someone you knew well.

I grade the funerals on the standard of venue and the food of course but also the number and quality of the auld WANs crying and wailing and then spontaneously bursting into decades of the rosary the pope himself would be proud of.

Then of course is the wake and removal if the house is not "private".

Ah you could live quite well on the auld funeral scene!

the groutch

Deleted User wrote: »

One of my neighbours appears to have become a "professional mourner", he goes to about three funerals a week, sometimes he even digs the grave, he is not an undertaker..

Is he a Fianna Fail TD/Councillor by any chance?

SuperS54

Maybe he's stuck for cash, a little "trip" in the graveyard could be worth thousands!

foxy farmer

Be interesting to see if he digs his own grave.