Teammate has something against me

fran38

I play on a pub pool team and we compete in our county pub league a few months of the year.There are seven on the team and we generally all get to play matches. This year I was made captain after speaking up about how the team and competition was being run. So really I was handed the captaincy in a "if you think you can do better, here you go" kind of way.
There is one member of the team who has taken a real dislike to me. I don't know if it's because of my personality or because I'm captain of the team. He seems to think that as captain, I make the rules. This couldn't be further from the truth. I make sure that everyone is included in decision making, even this guy.
There has been one or two instances where this guy took exception to decisions and he took it out on me by being overly verbally aggressive and made it plain that physical violence was on the cards. On Friday, when we were competing in a match, a team decision had to be made. This guy took great exception to it and as I was the one who led the discussion, I felt the full brunt of his anger. He was verbally aggressive and menacing. I was down the pub last night and met him. I tried to reason with him saying that whatever decisions are made is for the good of the team and decided by the team. I said "Look, you were menacing towards me the other night and I don't need that. I'm coming here to enjoy myself, not be threatened by you". He said "Yeah I was menacing, and if it happens again I'll be menacing again".
So my question is, for the sake of my self respect and dignity, do I leave the team? Or do I continue with what is an enjoyable pastime and put up with his behaviour? I'd appreciate some opinions please....

Renegade Mechanic

See what the rest of the team think of him and if they share even a similar opinion to yours, boot him "for the good of the team". Otherwise you may have to leave if outnumbered. At the end of the day, youre there to enjoy yourself and if thats not possible then whats the point? Mabye check vacancies in other teams?

fran38

Thanks Renegade. The other team members won't want to get on the bad side of this fella. There isn't a culture of support/ backing up here at all. But yeah, I think I'll leave coz as you rightly point out, whats the point?

Renegade Mechanic

It may be for the best then. You've already talked directly with him. The first thing youll feel is relief at not having to deal with sh*te like that, and if and when you want to return, do so with a different crowd. But there's no point in having to put up with something thats no longer enjoyable. Thats what jobs are for:p

username123

You are on a team and someone is threatening you with violence?

Leave it! Are you mad to stay on a team with someone like that? I would resign from the team with immediate effect and be clear that it is because as a civilised person it is unacceptable to you to be threatened with violence from another team member.

Pawwed Rig

I woud call a team meeting and lay everything out. Tell the others you cannot continue with this other guy on the team. Leave it upto the team. If they vote to get rid of you then tbh you are better off without them all.

loalae

Fair play to you! It sounds like you've dealt really well with a horrible person.

I'd agree with others who have said that you should have a talk with the whole team and say that you find that behaviour unacceptable and unless he's willing to change it he has to leave or you will!

Otherwise you'll just have to put up with it because it seems that he sees nothing wrong with being an aggressive bully.

Lou.m

OP he will have to leave eventually. If he is a problem person it would end up being a team of UNO.

The team must realize the problem stays if you leave and he stays ...if he leaves the problem is remedied.

The team will not last long or others will start dropping out.

I was in a dance troupe until a while ago. There was one unpleasant girl. None of us realized how we should deal with her. And like you two people (out of five) said it's not worth it. But we realized that actually it solves nothing for the team as whole. It is not fighting that causes the issue it is the character causing it and they need to leave. You learn a lot about people being on a team it is useful for life! You continue to argue with a person the team suffers. The problem needs to go.

I would say lay out ground rules for behavior. Insist that if people cannot follow them they have to leave. Team rules are a pre-requisite for joining there must be and agreed upon standard of conduct.