Would you clean someone else's skid marks

brightkane · 19-06-2014 9:43pm #1

Out for dinner with the girlfriends parents to meet them for the first time.

head off for a sh1t after because of a dodgy spar hot chicken roll I had at lunch.

Notice skid marks in the toilet before taking the throne but decide not my problem.

Hear her father outside the jacks on the phone and the enter the toilet. I see hes from his foot steps he is not going to the p1sser and waiting outside the cublicle. He obviously was at the same spar or has a closet coke problem and wont share.

I thought about cleaning the toilet of the previous sh1tters skid marks prior to handing over the toilet roll baton but decide not to.

Girlfriend tells me a week later her told her mother I left the toilet bowl in a terrible state (true but not my sh1t) and i was hoping he wouldnt be bothered looking as of the acidic smell I had left in the cubicle.

Anyways, would you clean it or leave it..

MayoSalmon · 19-06-2014 9:43pm

Yes with my tongue

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 19-06-2014 9:45pm

You tell your girlfriend that he came onto you, and he's just being spiteful cos you turned him down.

FearDark · 19-06-2014 9:45pm

That's the best story ever.

Aidric · 19-06-2014 9:45pm

lol

hose it down with a piss

catallus · 19-06-2014 9:45pm

MayoSalmon wrote: »

Yes with my tongue

You dirty bastard. PM sent

dee_mc · 19-06-2014 9:45pm

Is this what people mean when they talk about 'over sharing'?

PirateShampoo · 19-06-2014 9:47pm

And that's exactly how this country ended up in the awful state it's in now.

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-06-2014 9:47pm

Aidric wrote: »

lol

hose it down with a piss

Get a semi first to bring up the psi.

Atlantic Dawn · 19-06-2014 9:48pm

Classic booby trap, you have 3 options...

1 piss on it to clean it off imagining your flute is a Karcher powerwasher
2 put the seat up so next user assumes it wasn't you
3 clean it

Lucifer MorningStar · 19-06-2014 9:49pm

Aidric wrote: »

lol

hose it down with a piss

and semen

catallus · 19-06-2014 9:50pm

Actually, I can't imagine a person who wouldn't clean a toilet after themselves. And I prefer not to think of such odious things.

wretcheddomain · 19-06-2014 9:51pm

What a sh1t story :pac:

Sir Arthur Daley · 19-06-2014 9:53pm

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

and semen

You would be leaving evidence at the scene then.

Charlie19 · 19-06-2014 9:53pm

Just cover with toilet roll..

Simple really.

pow wow · 19-06-2014 9:54pm

FearDark wrote: »

That's the best story ever.

You need to get out more.

Lenin Skynard · 19-06-2014 9:55pm

I think people sometimes mistakenly accredit men of a particular age with being paragons of virtue. Really a lot of them are like Victor Meldrew/Norris from Coronation Street.

I wouldn't skidmark all over the toilet in someone's house but I certainly wouldn't go to the extent of cleaning a public toilet either.

Hande hoche! · 19-06-2014 9:55pm

brightkane wrote: »

Out for dinner with the girlfriends parents to meet them for the first time.

head off for a sh1t after because of a dodgy spar hot chicken roll I had at lunch.

Notice skid marks in the toilet before taking the throne but decide not my problem.

Hear her father outside the jacks on the phone and the enter the toilet. I see hes from his foot steps he is not going to the p1sser and waiting outside the cublicle. He obviously was at the same spar or has a closet coke problem and wont share.

I thought about cleaning the toilet of the previous sh1tters skid marks prior to handing over the toilet roll baton but decide not to.

Girlfriend tells me a week later her told her mother I left the toilet bowl in a terrible state (true but not my sh1t) and i was hoping he wouldnt be bothered looking as of the acidic smell I had left in the cubicle.

Anyways, would you clean it or leave it..

That line was magnificent.