man arrested for having sex with inflatable raft for third time in three years

wexie · 18-06-2014 7:49pm #1

Not sure if this should be in the YLYL or WTF threads (is there a most bizarre headline thread?)

A MAN has been arrested for having sex with an inflatable raft – the third time he has been arrested for the same offence in three years.

I just hope this doesn't catch on over here with the lovely weather, I'm sure there are many perverts and pool toys out across the country.

Frosty McSnowballs · 18-06-2014 7:49pm

3 pumps and yer out!

Sky King · 18-06-2014 7:51pm

He should escape and lilo for a while

phill106 · 18-06-2014 7:51pm

I hope there isnt a raft of such offences

mike65 · 18-06-2014 7:52pm

He didn't have sexy with an inflatable. Its not possible. This has been blown out of all proportions

ShooterSF · 18-06-2014 7:56pm

Headline is a lie. Article clearly points out that the second time was a pool float.

K.Flyer · 18-06-2014 7:56pm

Whatever.. err.. floats yer boat.

893bet · 18-06-2014 7:56pm

Sky King wrote: »

He should escape and lilo for a while

Sky king wins the thanks war by a nose!!!!!

Lando Griffin · 18-06-2014 7:57pm

Must love watching poarn.

kbell · 18-06-2014 8:01pm

He must have been rubberd.

Wacker The Attacker · 18-06-2014 8:02pm

did the raft squirt?

i'd totally watch that on redtube

Red Nissan · 18-06-2014 8:05pm

Someone should tell them rafts and floats, that no really means NO!

Rothko · 18-06-2014 8:06pm

What were the charges?

kneemos · 18-06-2014 8:07pm

Is it illegal?

wexie · 18-06-2014 8:11pm

kneemos wrote: »

Is it illegal?

It is if you do it in public (like on a road : was arrested after he was seen carrying out the act on a road in the town of Hamilton)

Not sure about if you do it in the privacy of your own home

kneemos · 18-06-2014 8:13pm

wexie wrote: »

It is if you do it in public (like on a road : was arrested after he was seen carrying out the act on a road in the town of Hamilton)

Not sure about if you do it in the privacy of your own home

Stay away from the crack kids.

dodderangler · 18-06-2014 8:15pm

Ride, ride, ride your boat gently down the stream

cassid · 18-06-2014 8:17pm

Was it a blow job, the face on him ! holy ****

Red Nissan · 18-06-2014 8:25pm

cassid wrote: »

Was it a blow job, the face on him ! holy ****

He found more rubber by the looks of it and some of it is seemingly where the sun don't .........................

Yamanoto · 18-06-2014 8:31pm

Would he not just have taken an oar back to his dinghy flat?

Aphex · 18-06-2014 8:31pm

cassid wrote: »

Was it a blow job, the face on him ! holy ****

That raft must have been pissed drunk at the time!

Mickey H · 18-06-2014 8:35pm

Did he motorboat it?

No Pants · 18-06-2014 9:03pm

wexie wrote: »

It is if you do it in public (like on a road : was arrested after he was seen carrying out the act on a road in the town of Hamilton)

Not sure about if you do it in the privacy of your own home

Me neither. There was a bloke in Scotland who ended up on the Sex Offender register for having sex with a bicycle in a hotel room.

mark_jmc · 18-06-2014 9:13pm

He should buy a Palestinian sex doll..... you take it home and she blows herself up.....

Odyssey 2005 · 18-06-2014 9:22pm

If he punctured it,would that constitute a blow job ?

wexie · 18-06-2014 9:23pm

No Pants wrote: »

Me neither. There was a bloke in Scotland who ended up on the Sex Offender register for having sex with a bicycle in a hotel room.

Now....I have to admit, I travel for work....and on more than one occasion I may have found myself in a hotel room.....with an.....itch lets say...

But....never, ever, ever....would it have occurred to me to look at a bicycle and go...well....lets give that a go.

(don't normally have a bicycle handy either to be honest)

EDIT : to clarify, I've never had any inappropriate thoughts about pool toys or any other inanimate objects either*

aside from an apple pie but that was a long time ago and I was very drunk

MRnotlob606 · 18-06-2014 9:24pm

why dont he do it at see

Dave! · 18-06-2014 9:26pm

I hope he wore a rubber on his dinghy

Czarcasm · 18-06-2014 9:33pm

Tharr she blows! :pac:

Joe prim · 18-06-2014 9:41pm

wexie wrote: »

It is if you do it in public (like on a road : was arrested after he was seen carrying out the act on a road in the town of Hamilton)

Not sure about if you do it in the privacy of your own home

No problem doing this in the privacy of one's own home , none at all..errr........so I'm told......by, ehhhhh. A solicitor :eek:

fleet_admiral · 18-06-2014 9:44pm

did it go down on him eventually?

Alf. A. Male · 18-06-2014 9:47pm

This thread must have been one of the greatest opportunities for puns AH ever had, but they've been terrible. After reading the posts expecting so much more, I feel totally deflated.