I need your opinions..

zozo339

Okay, so now I've got my confidence back after having people tell me my threads were full of .... I'm here again to ask everyone else's opinions about something I have been confused about for nearly a month now.

In late July, early august, my boyfriend is moving away 200 odd miles from where we are at the moment...he has asked me to go with him, I've been thinking this over and over again, and it hasn't gone away, it's in my head most days and nights. I've applied for college where he is moving to, and have applied for funding and am yet to apply for a room at the local YMCA near my college, I'm so confused about what I should do. I have felt like we have a very different relationship and like he's different in some way, but I can never figure it out, he is the one person who has made me feel the most comfortable about who I am. Yet, I hate the place he is going and wants me to go, I have such a negative feeling about the place, and when I went to stay there, it was such a horrible feeling, I couldn't settle where I was staying while he was visiting family, and I didn't feel welcomed by his family, at all. Even though they probably didn't mean to make me feel like that. I just get bad vibes you know...

Anyway, I love him, I do, I know so, and he has helped me through and gotten me through so really difficult times where I would've rather ended all of it as that was such an easy way out... it's ripping me apart to make this decision, as I have already told him I'll move, hence my application to college etc, but I don't know what the hell to do. I'm getting support from his parents who live here, and my family too, but I get a really bad feeling. I have nothing where we would be going, yet he has everything, family, old friends, (who he may or may not get back into contact with again) and his college, where he will be studying for a year. I would have nothing. I have tried to stress to him how much I would be giving up for him to go with him. But I can't get over the fact if it all goes wrong, im stranded there, and have nothing, yet he will be fine.

My head hasn't been in a very good place for a little while now, and I don't think I've been admitting that to myself very well either. I don't have a job at the moment, I'm claiming job seekers, and saving that money for the supposed "move". It's so hard you know.

Please give feedback and no silly comments, as this is upsetting for me enough.

Thanks.

Chara1001

You say there's nothing there for you, but family and friends aside, it doesn't sound like there's masses here for you at the moment either as you're not studying or working.
Worst case scenario- you take the course, move, realize you hate the course or the place even more and end up back where you are now? Well you'd probably be in the same position you are right now. But at least have figured out some things you definitely don't want.

The way I see it is that you actually don't have that much to lose by trying it out. You're already halfway there by finding a course & accommodation.
And as for getting a bad vibe.. might that not be just the place itself but the nerves about moving and anxiousness about leaving where you are now?
You're not taking in to account that you will meet new people and make friends- but don't keep telling your boyfriend how much you're giving up for him- you're an adult, he's not forcing you and its YOUR decision. If you decide to go, don't put its success/ failure on him. It's not fair.

I think you should give it a shot

Meauldsegosha

Zozo from what I remember of your previous thread your boyfriend is a 17 year old controlling type who believes its one set of rules for you and a different set for him.

Did you resolve the issues you had with him last month? Are they the reason you are having doubts about moving with your boyfriend?

Also I don't believe any poster said your last thread was full of sh*t.