I'm lonely

Questionaire

Not sure if this is the appropriate forum for the question I'll ask and the opinion's I seek but I'll post on anyway *Mods; feel free to move if need be.

I'm a fella in my 20's and I'm almost a year in to a recovery from a 'breakdown'. I'm slowly but surely getting my life back on track. I'm getting back in touch with old friend's and socialising again. I'm not blessed with lots of friends so I'm doing my best to build bridges with old friends and making new friends. I've a LOT of acquaintances and not a lot friends unfortunately and that at the minute is making me feel down.

I particularly wanted to build bridges again with my old best mate. We drifted during my breakdown. Recently he invited me for few celebratory drinks and we'd great craic. His other half said to me don't be afraid to contact him more as she knew my situation as I didn't want to enforce myself on him or anything. I have more contact now with him but he seems a little lukewarm at times. Sometimes he'll reply to a message on facebook, others he won't. He has been out plenty nights but I haven't got the invite from him to head out with them (his OH and mates). As I'm just getting back on the straight and narrow, the thought he mightn't have that much time for me is hurting but maybe that's all it is...a thought!

I just wanted idea's here on how to make new friends and/or turns acquaintances to friends.

NO PRESSURE THEN!

Thank you for reading! X

ash23

He might not be wanting to put pressure on you to go out. Or he might be busy with his new friends.

My advice OP is to bite the bullet and invite yourself. As in say "I'll pop over some evening this week if that suits?" or "Let me know the next time you're going out. I'm dying for a good night out".

If he continues to be lukewarm then it's probably time to find other friends. Try meetup.com as there are loads of different clubs there.

Alf. A. Male

Facebook messages are not a reliable, useful, healthy means of communicating. If you want to talk to your friend, pick up the phone or go and see him. Some of the nights out he hasn't invited you to may not have suited you and maybe he knows that. Or maybe he's trying not to put you under pressure when you're getting back on your feet. One way or another, don't read too much into it, you're just rebuilding a relationship, take your time. Similarly, the acquaintances may become friends over time, but you can't force it. Just keep tipping along and you'll find which ones stick around and become friends.
Best of luck with the continuing recovery.

levi12

So he was ur best friend and then u went through a tough time. Maybe he is just completely lost as to how to be around u...because things changed so much. Men, particularly irish "men" really struggle with " talking" or "feelings". So what would u say to maybe calling to se him some evening in his home....not in a busy pub...have a cuppa and just....talk.

maybe don't try to get over this....go through it. Talk to him. He is probably after a very tough year watching u have a very tough year.

Best of luck

levi12

So he was ur best friend and then u went through a tough time. Maybe he is just completely lost as to how to be around u...because things changed so much. Men, particularly irish "men" really struggle with " talking" or "feelings". So what would u say to maybe calling to se him some evening in his home....not in a busy pub...have a cuppa and just....talk.

maybe don't try to get over this....go through it. Talk to him. He is probably after a very tough year watching u have a very tough year.

Best of luck

Lou.m

Questionaire wrote: »

Not sure if this is the appropriate forum for the question I'll ask and the opinion's I seek but I'll post on anyway *Mods; feel free to move if need be.

I'm a fella in my 20's and I'm almost a year in to a recovery from a 'breakdown'. I'm slowly but surely getting my life back on track. I'm getting back in touch with old friend's and socialising again. I'm not blessed with lots of friends so I'm doing my best to build bridges with old friends and making new friends. I've a LOT of acquaintances and not a lot friends unfortunately and that at the minute is making me feel down.

I particularly wanted to build bridges again with my old best mate. We drifted during my breakdown. Recently he invited me for few celebratory drinks and we'd great craic. His other half said to me don't be afraid to contact him more as she knew my situation as I didn't want to enforce myself on him or anything. I have more contact now with him but he seems a little lukewarm at times. Sometimes he'll reply to a message on facebook, others he won't. He has been out plenty nights but I haven't got the invite from him to head out with them (his OH and mates). As I'm just getting back on the straight and narrow, the thought he mightn't have that much time for me is hurting but maybe that's all it is...a thought!

I just wanted idea's here on how to make new friends and/or turns acquaintances to friends.

NO PRESSURE THEN!

Thank you for reading! X

I think you are over thinking.

Relationships take time to build or rebuild. And in a way you are building a brand new relationship.

You should not take it so personally or sensitively.

Friendships just happen.