helping a family with drug addictions

LegacyUser

Need some advice please,
I used to know this girl, a mum to a couple of little girls. She was single, doing what she thought was best for them, and seemed to be managing on her own. The girls father, loved the drink, and regularly let them down, put drink first etc, so they split.

Anyway, after being on her own for a few years, she met this guy out one night, she kind of knew him. I didn't know him at all. He was smitten with her, but she had her reservations, and asked for my advice. I told her 'go for it' if that's who you like, 'you spent long enough on your own, looking at the four walls every night' So they started dating. We (husband & I) knew he didn't have alot of money (any), but was trying. Fair enough. They eventually moved intogether, engaged married a few years later.

Looking back now, I should have known by the look of him. He looked old beyond his years, like very old. The colour of his face always looked odd! Now I know why, cos he was feeding a massive drug addiction. Apparently it can effect the colour of your skin?

For a girl who left her kids father for alcohol addiction, and to marry a drug addict, I couldn't believe it. She always had her head screwed on. We pulled back from having much to do with them, after we found out they were regularly smoking, as we didn't want to be around it. I haven't seen her in about 6 years now.

But someone I know well, spotted her going into SVP and coming out with bags of food, looking deathly thin (she was never a skinny person when I knew her) and had a 'funny smell off her' as my friend and staff at SVP noticed. It was quite noticable.

She's hooked on God only knows what drugs at this stage, I'm worried for her and what her girls might be seeing & listening to day to day. But I can't get directly involved again. I don't know what to do.

I often thought of her over the last few years, and wondered if she had helped him kick the habit, but it's obvious she using too.

I asked my hubby can we do something, sending money annon. would be used for drugs, bags of food would be wasted, as she was never a great cook, and I dont know her 'freezer' situation. Sending coupons for food, would be sold too. I feel I should do something, and feel guilty as I strongly encouraged her to date him in the first place. I knew she wouldn't have had I not encouraged her. Is there anything at all I can do?

My sister told me the first thing to do is ring child welfare and report them.
(they are in their 30's btw)

Neyite

Listen to your sister and ring social welfare.

She and her partner have chosen this life, the children didnt. Social services can ensure the children are safe, clothed and fed, and offer supports to your friend if she does have addiction issues and wants to quit.

Rubberchikken

I think you're feeling guilty because you encouraged her to date this guy.
But you didnt tell her to marry him. You dismt trll her to take drugs.

You have to, imo, lose the guilty feeling.
Whether you can do anything to help this person you hadnt seen in 6 years is doubtful.
Tbh the only person who can help her, is her, when she's ready to ditch drugs and drug addicted husband

Meathlass

I think you're feeling guilty as well OP. And you shouldn't be. She made the decision to marry him and go down this road with him.

Are either of the couple working? Possibly not if they are getting assistance from SVP. Also if SVP are involved then it is very likely that Social Services, Bernardos and other child protection agencies are aware of the situation.

I strongly urge you, for your own sanity, not to get involved.