sex drive gone

misha129

So iv been with my partner for 3 years, im female 25. He is gorgeous iv never fancied anykne so much ever. But when it comes to sex I dont know it just doesnt happen. I get all geared up.. shower, shave make up hair done and all ready get into bed and I feel myself just getting cranky and going to sleep. I always enjoy it so much when it does happen but getting to that point is non exsistant. Its been months and really taking its toll on us and I dunno what to do or what is wrong with me

Tasden

Do you have a busy day? Maybe you're just too tired after a full day of work or whatever else?

Have you tried doing it during the day or first thing in the morning instead?

Like you say, once you're doing it you enjoy it so maybe its more just a lack of energy that puts you off, but the more you do it the more you'll want it usually so if you try make an effort to schedule it in (not very exciting but..!) when you're feeling your best and most energetic it might get you out of the rut and into a phase of having sex regularly so that you want it regularly if that makes sense??

Sometimes it can be hormonal or a symptom of something else if you're feeling it is not just down to tiredness, you can speak to your GP if you do think its something that needs to be checked out.

rotun

We've been together for 11 years, and once the kids came along, bed time was precious sleeping time only.

So we started doing it during the day.. way more energy.

Merkin

You're obviously choosing the wrong time of day to enjoy it if you're feeling cranky and tired at night. How about morning sex? Or spending a day in bed at the weekend? Or meeting for a naughty lunchtime tryst? You both need to find a time (and make the time!!) to have some fun together or else your relationship is unsustainable. Address the problem head on and get it sorted ASAP.

Penny Tration

Aside from changing the routine and making time during the day, do you have a sex drive?

Do you find yourself wanting sex at all, or is the makeup and nice underwear to keep him happy?

If you do indeed have a sex drive, but are tired at night, then changing it from a night time activity to a day or even morning time activity could be of use.

If you don't have much of a sex drive in general, it may be no harm to pop down to your GP to discuss it. Many things can affect your sex drive, including stress. I was once with a guy in a LTR and had no sex drive for six months because of a medication I was on, and a conversation with my doctor, and a change of medication sorted that out. So it might be worth looking into.

misha129

Hi its not a tired thing, it can be any time of the day and I really want to I just cant seem to get into it and just get cranky at my boyfriend and iv no idea why, he thinks im not attracted to him but that couldnt be future from the truth and like I said it is awesome when I get past everything and go for it. I feel abnormal.

Penny Tration

misha129 wrote: »

Hi its not a tired thing, it can be any time of the day and I really want to I just cant seem to get into it and just get cranky at my boyfriend and iv no idea why, he thinks im not attracted to him but that couldnt be future from the truth and like I said it is awesome when I get past everything and go for it. I feel abnormal.

You're not abnormal at all!

I know say that you do want to, but can't get into it, but do you think about it much? Like, if one of you is off at work or college, do you ever get turned on while alone and end up thinking about sex, things you want to do with him that night?

Or is it that you don't really get turned on, but want to have sex because you know you'll enjoy it?

NeonCookies

Have you changed your contraception at all recently? That can have a big effect. Even if you haven't changed it, it's still worth going to your doctor if you're feeling no sex drive at all. It's a proper problem, so don't feel silly going to ask for help!

dannyc31

OP are you sure you're not going through some anxiety or stress at the moment? can you trace back to when this started as their maybe something that triggered this loss in sex drive?

with sex like most things, its all in the mind. if you're head is not with it your body wont follow. if you were a man it would be easier to visually spot because for most men this would be exhibited by loss of erection or possibly premature ejaculation.

so if i were you i would look outside the bedroom to the possible stressers in your life that could be causing this loss in sex drive in the bedroom.

NEDDURC

Misha129,

I would say that most relationships after a few years would become abit more routine etc. and the early sparkle starts to fade abit. I'm not saying this is something to worry about but just be aware of.

You noted yourself that you go through the same rountine to get ready for sex. Does your bf know this rountine?

I'd suggest you stop doing that and start surprising him at more random times by telling him your horny, wearing some sexy underwear or just start rubbing him to get him in the mood when watching tv etc.

stickybookmark

Maybe you're putting yourself under too much pressure with all the preparations, building the whole thing up too much/ There's nothing wrong with letting it happen naturally on a weekend morning when you've got a big sleepy head and a boring old nightie on. Just start with morning cuddles and let it develop from there? It's about creating an atmosphere where you feel relaxed and can let yourself go into the moment.

Bafucin

Could it be hormonal?