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Gift for a wedding I'm not going to

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  • 06-06-2014 11:20pm
    #1
    digzy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,049 ✭✭✭


    A work colleague of my wife is getting married soon but we can't make the wedding. We'll be giving cash but were wondering how much given that we won't be there. We usually give 200 for any wedding we go to.

    She's not very close to the colleague- they never meet outside of work and never txt or phone each other. I was thinking about 50, the OH reckons 100?


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    #2
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    I would never consider giving a gift to someone I'm not close to if I'm not attending the wedding, is that just me?


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    #3
    Mayo Miss
    Registered Users Posts: 585 ✭✭✭Mayo Miss


    Coleman Slawski wrote: »
    I would never consider giving a gift to someone I'm not close to if I'm not attending the wedding, is that just me?

    Me either.


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    #4
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    If I'm invited, don't go, and amn't particularly close to the bride or groom, I put €50 in a card


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    #5
    Typer Monkey
    Registered Users Posts: 941 ✭✭✭Typer Monkey


    I've turned down a good few invitations from work colleagues over the years and never gave a gift. It never even crossed my mind tbh! If it was a good friend or family member I'd probably give a gift if I couldn't make it. I'm getting married this year and wouldn't expect a gift from people who can't/don't want to attend.


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    #6
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    It's a work colleague not a close friend. You shouldn't be giving ANYTHING considering you are not attending except for a card.


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    #7
    Toots
    Administrators, Business & Finance Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,905 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Toots


    I'd agree with the above, if it was a colleague who I wasn't really close to, I'd just send a nice card. If you REALLY want to give something, then the €50 in a card is more than generous. In your situation, I think putting €100 in the card is far too much.


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    #8
    Addle
    Registered Users Posts: 4,812 ✭✭✭Addle


    tinkerbell wrote: »
    It's a work colleague not a close friend. You shouldn't be giving ANYTHING considering you are not attending except for a card.

    How does it make sense not to give someone a present to wish them well in married life because you can't attend the wedding?
    If you were going, how much would you give?


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    #9
    LynnGrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭LynnGrace


    Toots* wrote: »
    I'd agree with the above, if it was a colleague who I wasn't really close to, I'd just send a nice card. If you REALLY want to give something, then the €50 in a card is more than generous. In your situation, I think putting €100 in the card is far too much.

    Agree with this. If it's someone not particularly close, fifty quid is more than generous, one hundred is far too much, in my opinion.


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    #10
    BeatlesFan1992
    Closed Accounts Posts: 59 ✭✭BeatlesFan1992


    digzy wrote: »
    A work colleague of my wife is getting married soon but we can't make the wedding. We'll be giving cash but were wondering how much given that we won't be there. We usually give 200 for any wedding we go to.

    She's not very close to the colleague- they never meet outside of work and never txt or phone each other. I was thinking about 50, the OH reckons 100?

    Don't be stressing that you can't go or feel the need to give a gift. You barely know the person, as does your wife.

    I'm sure the Bride and Groom will barely notice who is and isn't there.

    Keep the money and bring your wife out for a nice meal. I'd prefer that than going to a wedding of a person I hardly know.


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    #11
    mrsbyrne
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,228 ✭✭✭mrsbyrne


    Absolutely no need for a gift. If I'd sent a colleague a wedding invite out of courtesy but in the full expectation that they wouldn't attend, I'd be morto if they gave me a cash gift, and I'd probably try to give it back.
    If you wife wanted to spend €10 to €15 on a photo frame or a smelly candle of some sort and wrap it up and give it to her on her last day before her big day, then that would be much more appropriate.


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    #12
    Gatica
    Registered Users Posts: 3,299 ✭✭✭Gatica


    Was invited to afters of a workmate's wedding. Only known him a few months. Thought of putting 50 in a card, but his manager got a common card and did an envelope collection, everyone gave between 10 and 20, so I gave 15.
    Basically, don't think anyone expects gift from people not attending a wedding. Even from close friends of ours that didn't come to our wedding, we got $100. We thought it was generous of them as we certainly didn't expect a penny. A card to wish them well is appropriate, unless your wife signs one at work from everyone. Anything on top of that is entirely optional...


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    #13
    Mrs OBumble
    Registered Users Posts: 25,732 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    Addle wrote: »
    If I'm invited, don't go, and amn't particularly close to the bride or groom, I put €50 in a card

    Please PM me your address, I have a wedding invitation to send you.




    :D


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