Complex problem

LegacyUser

My Dad has suffered from depression for many years. He has been hospitalised on a few occasions and is on medication.

He refuses to exercise, attend councelling, eat healthily etc, he just thinks taking medication is enough. I have tried talking to him.

He can sometimes spend all day in bed, eat nothing all day and then spend all night drinking cans and binge eating despite the fact that he is diabetic. He is grossly overweight with a massive beer gut.

I have to live at home this summer and realised how bad it has become. He smells very bad, the smell from his bedroom is invading the whole house. He has his own business which he is keeping afloat because he has days where he can work.

He works from home and there is rotting food every where in his office. I was in there today and found that he has been storing his urine in plastic milk cartons. I feel really sick.

I was never close to him and he has been this way most of my life. My mother and him should be divorced but instead just live together in this state. The rest of the house is clean, but his office and bedroom are like something from a horror movie.

I don't know what to do. When I found the urine i couldn't stop crying. Should I say it to him? I feel sick and can feel my old anxiety and depression that I used to have when I lived here before. I feel so frustrated and crazy.

I can't tell my mother about the piss because she is quite a frail woman mentally and is a recovering alcoholic of two years. It is hard enough for her having to live with him and the state he has the office in, knowing about the urine would probably send her over the edge.

Tokyo

Hi OP,

do you have another family member that you can share this with? To be honest from the sounds of things, what's going on is far more than you are capable of handling (or indeed, should be expected to handle). You are describing a situation that is no small deal - your father seems to have a longterm problem with depression and all of its associated trappings and it may take more than just you saying something in order to encourage him to do something about it. This is where other family members could help.

For your own sake you may also have to take a step back somewhat. You cay that you have to move back this summer - is it possible for you to stay somewhere else? Perhaps with other family members or friends?

Ham Sambo

You should not have to deal with this in the first place, especially when it concerns your dad, however, could you make an appointment with your dad's GP and have a chat with him or her and get a better handle on how to get through this. by the sounds of it there is not too many other people in the house that can help out but there are other organisations who can.

Has you dad got any brothers or sisters that can help sort things out, Google a few of the help lines for depression etc and phone one of them tomorrow, there is help out there so you are not alone. Best of luck.

Rubberchikken

do you have other family members to share this with?
it's way too much for one person to deal with. Could you talk to your dad's gp?

don't feel you have to do this alone. no one expects you to. take care.