Violent neighbor abusing family.

LegacyUser

Hi I live next door this Egyptian guy, he's at home on disability and is constantly shouting at his family. Last week this erupted into a full blown fight and we could hear his wife screaming through the wall, like screaming in fear not shouting. Then his front window smashed and we heard his wife screaming. I went out and banged on the door till he came out with blood all down his face. Myself and some others from the street kept him outside while my girlfriend went in to check on his family. The guards (eventually) showed up and it transpired that a fight had broken out because she had hidden the children's passports because he was threatening to leave her and take them with him, and that he had hit her head off the wall. He was taken away and told not to return till Tuesday.
We boarded up the window and offered to bring her around to social services the next day, she said she would knock into us but never did.


Later in the day the guards came back and told us that his version of events and her version don't match up and they think she might be fabricating aspects of the story.

Anyway he's back since Tuesday and every night and day I can hear him screaming at his wife and kids. There's not much I can do and I'm so frustrated.

A friend of the mans who had shown up around the time of the fight told me this was just common in Muslim society but I can't swallow that, especially when I hear it through the wall all day, every day.

Penny Tration

If she's not willing to take the help offered, there's very little you can do.

What I would do in your position would be -

1. Call the police each time the screaming starts.


2. Call social services. It's not a safe environment for children.

Merkin

Yes, I agree. I think while you have the best of intentions, there is very little that you can actually do. If you hear it again, I agree with above, log every incident with the cops (who might not necessarily materialise) but also go through these channels if you fear the kids are in any danger:

https://www.ispcc.ie/concern

December2012

Report it every time it happens to the Gardai

Here is a link from Barnardos about who to call when a child is neglected / abused.

http://www.barnardos.ie/resources-advice/child-protection/worried-about-a-child.html

Tokyo

As has been pointed out, call the police each time an argument like this erupts. Otherwise don't get involved to try to intervene if possible - you may end up enraging him further, or drawing his ire upon yourself. One thing you can also do if the arguments are penetrating into your house is to record the arguments and hand them over to the police next time they speak to you. It's frustrating I know, but other than alerting the relevant authorities, there really isn't much more that you can do.

One thing I will add is try not to let this colour your perception of Muslim societies or other nationalities - this is a personal anger that transcends all societies and religions, and is far from the norm in Muslim society.

cat_dog

It's actually quite common for muslim men to hit their wives if they do not do as they're told (e.g. leaving the house without telling him or not satisfying him in bed) It's not talked about much but from my research it's more common than we think. Muhammed hit his wife - it is in the Koran. The wife is unlikely to press charges against him so there's very little you can do.

December2012

There's a lot of things in the bible too that most Christians don't follow so I wouldn't just say because they are Muslim it's part of their culture.

And plenty of non Muslim women and other otherwise successful women stay in domestic violence relationships for many reasons.

Neyite

cat_dog wrote: »

It's actually quite common for muslim men to hit their wives if they do not do as they're told (e.g. leaving the house without telling him or not satisfying him in bed) It's not talked about much but from my research it's more common than we think. Muhammed hit his wife - it is in the Koran. The wife is unlikely to press charges against him so there's very little you can do.

Well, yes there is. Social services should be made aware of the fact that children are witnessing abuse and violence in the home. The mother chooses to stay in that environment, and I hope that someday she will find the courage to leave him, but the children have no choice, no options.

Please report the abuse the children are witnessing through the appropriate channels whenever you hear it.

Overheal

Religion debate? You want to go here.

OP if you own any recording devices (smartphones etc) I would employ them. And start writing down anything you hear, when you hear it, etc. and build up a list of events. The cops say its his word against hers, but include your take on events too and see where it leads. If they aren't yelling in English that is the best reason to have it recorded.

Diziet

No, it is not 'common for Muslim men to hit their wives'. What a racist generalisation.

OP, please do call the police when you hear a disturbance.

Rubberchikken

I very much doubt it's a 'muslim' thing to beat your wife.
I'd say it 's a bully thing with a wife who is too afraid to speak up.
Happens with people of every colour/race/religion

If you want to be involved then call the gardai/ social services.
They're usually quick to take kids out of home on any spurious notion

Taltos

cat_dog - have a read of our charter. Sweeping generalisations are not welcome here. If you can't post inline with our charter please refrain from posting at all. This is a strictly moderated forum due to the nature of the issues here so I am sure you can appreciate that failure to post per the rules can result in moderator action.

Thanks
Taltos

Linka

bob2790 wrote: »

We boarded up the window and offered to bring her around to social services the next day, she said she would knock into us but never did.

This is common in abusive relationships, regardless of nationality, religion or even sex. As frustrating as it is for those that have to watch or hear this going on, it is the very nature of an abusive relationship that makes the victim feel powerless. An abuser removes power, confidence and self esteem until the victim basically feels worthless and helpless. Advice given to a victim makes perfect sense, but when it comes right down to the crunch, they are scared.

Calling the Gardai is something that you can do each time this breaks out, to diffuse the situation. If he is smashing her head against walls then her life is in danger, while her children look on. Get social services involved, because this is a family in need of help.

ShowMeTheCash

balaclava, bat, broken knee.

Tokyo

ShowMeTheCash - as per the forum charter, advocating violence as a solution is not tolerated. Yellow card issued, and bear in mind that infractions are accumulative, so next time it'll be a red card or a forum ban.

Regards,
Mike

ShowMeTheCash

It's actually the name of a book about conflict resolution.
The book is German and the above is a literal translation but you should give it a read I found it very enlightening!

Bafucin

Call social services and the police. Don't get drawn in yourself though. He could be dangerous.