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Is it weird to be sexless in your early 20s?

  • 03-06-2014 5:52pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Just looking for some advice because I suppose I get down over this sometimes. Anyway, my issue is that I am now 23 and have not had full intercourse since I was 20 years old. I've got oral a few times (within the space of a week last year) but that's my only sexual experience since breaking up with my ex 2 years ago. I guess in today's hypersexualized society, where everyone is perceived to be at it like rabbits, I feel a bit left out or even like a loser sometimes because i'm not having it.

    It's not that I don't try get it, I am on online dating websites and actively use them without success though. I'm not the worst looking guy in the world and my ex gf was very good-looking so I don't think that's the issue. I guess I just have this idea in my head that most people my age have it relatively frequently, whilst I am missing out. It doesn't help that it takes me a while to get to know a girl before I want to have full blown sex with them. Cheers for any advice if anyone has any.


Comments

  • #2
    Maphisto
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,014 ✭✭✭Maphisto


    sexless20s wrote: »
    I guess I just have this idea in my head that most people my age have it relatively frequently, whilst I am missing out.

    Thats what they want you to think. For all you know they could be in similar positions. IMO there is a lot more sex being talked about and in various media than is actually being performed.
    It doesn't help that it takes me a while to get to know a girl before I want to have full blown sex with them. Cheers for any advice if anyone has any.
    Nothing wrong in getting to know someone. In fact its a very good idea. What does "full blown" mean?

    As for advice, try and be more relaxed about it. If you telegraph that that is what you want you will scare people off. Try a new activity that is a break from the norm e.g. hill walking or pottery. It matters not just somewhere you can meet different people.


  • #3
    AnonMouse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 95 ✭✭AnonMouse


    sexless20s wrote: »
    I guess in today's hypersexualized society, where everyone is perceived to be at it like rabbits, I feel a bit left out or even like a loser sometimes because i'm not having it.

    The media over hype everything, to create insecurities in people, who in turn will spend money on items to fix their insecurity, e.g. not brown enough, fake tan, not skinny enough, weight watchers etc. It is a disgrace that the media get away with this, as it makes people feel like they have to be different from the person that they really are. It's all a farce, in my opinion.

    Try not to get down over it; just be yourself and it'll happen when it is supposed to and you will appreciate it more. :)


  • #4
    Rucking_Fetard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,260 ✭✭✭Rucking_Fetard


    If you pushed a group your age for honest answers on their sex lives, i think you'll find a lot of similar stories.

    Watch out for stds with unprotected oral. Rare but not impossible. Alot of incurable stuff going around now.


  • #5
    Sleepy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,365 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    It was the exact same 10 years ago and it'll still be the same in another 10 years: the media loves to make out that 20 somethings rarely go a night without getting laid but it's nothing more than a media illusion. Of course there are outliers who have fantasy-like sex lives but for the vast majority of us that's not the case. I punched above my weight for much of my late 20's but certainly had long dry spells between relationships when I was younger. It never quite got to 3 years but, tbh, there were times I slept with someone purely to break the dry spell...


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