Am I weird for not wanting to go out?

lonelylady321

I am 24 but don't go out. I don't drink because I don't like the way it makes me feel and the group I go out with all bitch and talk about each other behind their backs. Not one of then are genuine and they all treat each other like crap and I would rather not be involved in the malicious circle. I feel like I am a weirdo though or missing out because most people my age are out enjoying themselves. Anyone else feel this way?

longhalloween

Not weird at all. There's plenty of better things to do than spend you money and time in a pub. Don't think there's many who have realised this though.

Every so often I get the feeling I'm missing out by not going out as often as my friends. One night in a noisy pub and club and waking up with a banging headache €50 poorer usually reaffirms my beliefs though.

lonelylady321

Yes that's how I feel, I would much rather save my money and go away on short trips and see the world and experience cultures without alcohol involved. There has to be more to weekends than alcohol. But society in particular irish society, believes the only way to have a good weekend is drink until you cannot stand

Overheal

There are plenty of activities that dont involve drinking to act stupid with complete strangers, and plenty of activities to go do with your friends that, eh, can involve a few beers. or not. Some people like to have a few beers and go bowling. Or house drinking and Cards Against Humanity. Or lots of things, its left up to the imagination. In most cultures where there is sure, a drinking problem but not a drinking culture, most activities dont revolve around the stuff.

I don't like the way it makes me feel and the group I go out with all bitch and talk about each other behind their backs. Not one of then are genuine and they all treat each other like crap and I would rather not be involved in the malicious circle.

Find a new group. To be fair. When I first started my job at a retailer a few years back I hung out with the wrong people, nice enough but at times but self-absorbed c*nts all. They talked themselves up all the time, got turned down for promotions and became bitter. I momentarily felt unsure about cutting my ties with them but I'd have done it sooner if I had the same choice again today. A very important thing I learned from that job OP was that you can't please everyone and if you do you're going to be the least genuine person there. Don't be afraid to rub some people the wrong way, adhere to your own values; it's better to have fewer good friends then a lot of fake ones.

Pawwed Rig

lonelylady321 wrote: »

Yes that's how I feel, I would much rather save my money and go away on short trips and see the world and experience cultures without alcohol involved.

Do that then. It will give you more memories than a hazy night out anyway. I would say however that you need a regular social outlet. Do you have hobbies that you like to do? Try and incorporate your friends into these.

December2012

lonelylady321 wrote: »

But society in particular irish society, believes the only way to have a good weekend is drink until you cannot stand

I think your opinion is wrong - there are plenty of fun and interesting things to do in your free time that don't involve drinking to that level.

If you don't like the people who you are talking about then why are you friends with them?

lonelylady321

December2012 wrote: »

If you don't like the people who you are talking about then why are you friends with them?

Im not I only speak to them if I see them. My best friend chooses to speak to them thats how I know them. But even at that he never stops talking about them...

tomwaterford

lonelylady321 wrote: »

I am 24 but don't go out. I don't drink because I don't like the way it makes me feel and the group I go out with all bitch and talk about each other behind their backs. Not one of then are genuine and they all treat each other like crap and I would rather not be involved in the malicious circle. I feel like I am a weirdo though or missing out because most people my age are out enjoying themselves. Anyone else feel this way?

if you don't like drinking...don't drink (not a huge drinker myself...too much a lightweight:o!!)

a lot more to life than drinking

also...them people sound awlful...wouldn't blame you for not heading out with them...why would you bother....esp if you'll not enjoy yourself??

lonelylady321

Not sorry I didn't go now, one of the girls slept with her sisters boyfriend and her best friend rang her at work middle of the night to tell her and she is on her way back home now! There will be murder in that house!

Stavro Mueller

Do you not have any other friends to hang out with? It's possible that this group of people are little more than drinking buddies and they're only "friends" because it means they've got someone to go out on the town with. Not everyone goes out on a Saturday night and gets twisted either. You'll also find that as people get older they often don't drink in the way they did when they were 21 or 22.

My advice to you is to try and make new friends by getting involved in different activities etc. You don't sound like you've got anything in common with this lot at all and are only loosely associating with them because of your friend. You won't miss them if you stop hanging around with them and I'm sure they won't care either.

Azwaldo55

lonelylady321 wrote: »

I am 24 but don't go out. I don't drink because I don't like the way it makes me feel and the group I go out with all bitch and talk about each other behind their backs. Not one of then are genuine and they all treat each other like crap and I would rather not be involved in the malicious circle. I feel like I am a weirdo though or missing out because most people my age are out enjoying themselves. Anyone else feel this way?

If you don't like drinking then don't drink and if you don't like the group you usually go out with don't go out with them then. Find a new group of friends and go out with them.

Ham Sambo

There seems to be a culture in Ireland that if you are not stuck in a noisy pub or club at the weekend pissed as a fart then you are weird, It's laughable, this girl chooses not to socialise in pubs and clubs and posters still advise her to hang out in pubs and clubs.

@lonelylady321, fair play to you, you will in time find something to enjoy while the rest of your peers vomit, pee, cat fight and spend their way through the weekend and more than likely wake up in the morning wondering who the **** is the guy next to them.

Pawn

lonelylady321 wrote: »

Anyone else feel this way?

Yes, although I have grown up a bit and I don't really care about circles of friends and social events like I used to in school/college, I have learned that it is nothing but good to be my own ship and a captain. If you feel good with yourself it's all what matters. People around you change, they come, they go. But remember, you are the only one who stays with yourself for the entire life. If you are not happy with yourself, then there is a problem. Otherwise - I wouldn't bother. You are not weird. Good luck

LegacyUser

I'm in the same position drinking-wise OP. I do like my friends, but their social lives revolve around going out to clubs three nights a week to drink until they're (almost) sick. I don't like clubs for a few reasons and choose not to go out with them. I also want to travel rather than waste money on drinking, because it seems like a waste of time and money. Obviously the night out isn't a waste of time, but the next morning you're hardly fully ready and rested for a days work.

I'd recommend suggesting other things to do. Going to the cinema, for a road trip or day trip (Stenaline have daytrips for a tenner), concerts, etc. They can still drink on the ferry or at concerts (going somewhere like the Academy 2 is cheap enough as well), and it'll be fun.

Fabio

OP it's not weird at all. It's different to the norm I suppose but I count myself in the same camp as you.

Here's an example... One New Year's Eve night I was out the back yard, in the rain I might add, working on a motorbike with a flashlight. I was happy out. I've a normal amount of friends, a small few who are close, some drink, some like to party a lot and others don't. I do my own thing and they respect that I think. I also found a few of those friends through motorbikes and they understand my preference for staying late in a garage and working on something than bothering to go out clubbing or whatever.

Have a look around for a group that might suit you, there might even be some on boards.ie. I happened to join the motorcycle club in UCC and that's kept me entertained, alternatively, for a long time!

THEZAPPA

Hi OP,

Not weird in anyway. I myself am a 24 year old female. I used to go out every weekend drinking, over at friends houses drinking etc. One day when I was 21 It was almost like I woke up and realized I wasn't having fun. Since then I go out to pubs with friends very occasionally for a birthday but don't drink much at them.

I stopped hanging out with the group I drank with on weekends because they stopped trying to get me out after a few times asking and I stopped trying to get them to hang out without alcohol. Needless to say I was no more fun without drinking so why try be my friend. I'm truly more happy now travelling, hobbies and I found my small group of true friends.

So no you're not weird

Rubberchikken

I agree ireland has a drinking culture and for some that's all the weekend involves.
If you dont want to be part of that and would rather save up for trips abroad then do that. It a great thing to do:)
Accept your friends for what they are and live your life the way you want too.
Good luck

carzony

I'm 22 and stopped drinking at 19. I just never understood the whole thing and actually found going out drinking extremely boring. People our age are like sheep and IMO just go out to look cool and have somthing to talk about.

I know girls that nearly leave themselves broke for weeks so they can go out for a night. I just don't understand it... only thing is, i find, it's extremely difficult to hookup with someone in their 20's without drinking.

lonelylady321

carzony wrote: »

only thing is, i find, it's extremely difficult to hookup with someone in their 20's without drinking.

Who are you telling! My heart is broke.. It's so hard to find a partner outside of the pub. They say join clubs or groups but that does nothing for me

Stavro Mueller

Pubs and nightclubs aren't the best way to meet someone anyway. A lot of people meet their partners through friends, work or activities they're involved in. Online dating works for some people as well though you'd need to be a little cautious.

Do you not have any other friends or other social outlets? I don't knew what anyone can say to you really. You can vent all you want about people going out on a Saturday night and getting rat arsed but it's not going to solve your issue. You can either continue to sit at home or do something proactive. New friends aren't going to fall into your lap if you do nothing about it.

Not everyone is into getting pissed on a Saturday night but you've fallen into a group who are of that mindset. You can't control what other people do but you've the power to change your own life. Try not to be so negative.

carzony

lonelylady321 wrote: »

Who are you telling! My heart is broke.. It's so hard to find a partner outside of the pub. They say join clubs or groups but that does nothing for me

I'v actually come to the conclusion that it's impossible to meet anyone. Women our age seem to be in nightclubs and that's it.

lonelylady321

carzony wrote: »

I'v actually come to the conclusion that it's impossible to meet anyone. Women our age seem to be in nightclubs and that's it.

Im a woman your age and Im not in a nightclub

carzony

lonelylady321 wrote: »

Im a woman your age and Im not in a nightclub

Not into nightclubs? Hand over your phone number at once :p

I'v met very few women who are not into going out. I don't care what anyone says your definitely gonna find it extremely hard to meet someone if your not interested in drinking/going out.

I also can't stand social media so I'm screwed either way :P

December2012

carzony wrote: »

I'v actually come to the conclusion that it's impossible to meet anyone. Women our age seem to be in nightclubs and that's it.

Then you're looking in the wrong places.

If you're going to remove one option for finding a date you'll have to replace it with other options.

Online dating is an option.

So are going to meet ups and dating agencies. Group activities and social sports are other options.

Lots of men and women don't follow the bar scene.

LegacyUser

I've spent my life feeling the same its as if I'm some kind of freak ,I recently met a women who I was really attracted to but guess what she can't go a night without a acholic drink it seem everyone I meet is a coke head or dependent on alcohol !! Lol so to be honest I guess you try and find more positive people to hang out with but in my experience its easier said than done ,I can't even find a girlfriend that's clean and as for back stabbing I just think that life these days sad but true!!

lyinghere

There's a real then versus us attitude on thread which I really don't like . I like a good night out with friends every now and again , I also like swimming , running , meeting friends for tea and a chat, gyming , shopping , restaurants , reading. It's ridiculous what some people are saying on this thread about people who enjoy a night out , its literally one night a week if even for most people I know.

Sometimes I'll have a night out with my friends, more times it'll be a catch up over a mug of tea or maybe even a walk or a run. I just love any excuse to catch up with friends and we always have a good time regardless if drink is involved or not.

I don't care if someone doesn't drink. I do care if people are judgemental about people who do drink. If its not something you want to do no one is forcing you to and you should join clubs that interest you. If your not bothered doing that then there's not much else anyone here can do for you.

Merkin

Please don't resurrect old threads.