Dont find my girlfriend attractive without make up

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

Im with my girlfriend about 2 months now. I think I might love her, but there is just one little problem.

She has eczema and acne, she has to wear a special type of make up but it comes off so easy no matter what she does. When we are in private it doesnt bother me at all, I dont find her any less attractive.

But if we are out in public (partys/night clubs and all that kind of stuff) and it comes off from sweating or kissing I feel kind of embarrassed by how she looks without it, if she notices herself she would rush off to fix it because Im pretty sure she is embarrassed by it herself.

Once I told her that all her make up was gone and she went off and put it back on, she didnt seem as though I was saying something bad, but I felt really guilty and would be afraid to say anything to her about it incase shes hurt by what I say.

Its also not just her, I would find almost any girl unattractive without make up! Is this something I should feel guilty about?

ManonRiv

OP, i am a girl and i think it is a shame that you can't appreciate women's natural beauty ! Love is not only about how your partner looks . At the beginning it might count of course for some people but if you are looking for a long term relationship you shouldn't worry about that . And you know, your girlfriend's skin can turn good again . Acne is just a bad phase ...

bee06

Sorry, I'm confused. You say you don't find her less attractive when you are in private but it bothers you in public? Is it that you are worried about what other people think about her?

Alf. A. Male

I make no apologies for saying this, for **** sake grow up. And you're not in love with her if you think like that about her

retro:electro

Op a lot of girls feel extremely insecure around a new boyfriend without make up on, I can't imagine how your girlfriend must feel going without it as her skin is so bad and she seems to be paranoid about it. It's a shame that you don't appreciate the fact that she's able to take it off around you and be completely herself, and instead see this as something unattractive and something your almost ashamed of.

Penny Tration

Mate, I feel so bad for your girlfriend.

I had acne for a year when I was in my late teens, and became accustomed to wearing make up daily, even when the acne went away.

I used to feel awful without make up on, even when my acne disappeared.

My boyfriend PREFERS how I look without make up. He always compliments my make up when I do something really nice with it, but is also very clear that I'm even more beautiful to him with no make up.

That's what love is.

If you don't fancy your girlfriend without make up, leave her to find someone who will.
Pointing out that her make up has worn off is pretty nasty. She may have taken it well, but my god, I'd be fuming if my boyfriend essentially told me to go put more make up on.

This isn't love. You can't even fancy her without make up.

LegacyUser

Wow, your OP is one of the most shallow posts I have ever read.
You don't love this girl. It sounds like you just want a trophy girlfriend to stand beside you and look pretty so everyone can see how much of a stud you are. Let the poor girl go before you destroy her self esteem. Your attitude sounds like that of a very insecure boy.

I hope you're still a teenager, because it's pretty pathetic that any man would say that they don't fancy any women without makeup. Seriously OP it sounds like you have a very warped perception of women if the idea of any woman in her natural state is so unattractive to you. I think you need to dump your gf and seek help for your issues before you even consider dating anyone else.

Lou.m

NoMakeUpGuilt wrote: »

Hey guys,

Im with my girlfriend about 2 months now. I think I might love her, but there is just one little problem.

She has eczema and acne, she has to wear a special type of make up but it comes off so easy no matter what she does. When we are in private it doesnt bother me at all, I dont find her any less attractive.

But if we are out in public (partys/night clubs and all that kind of stuff) and it comes off from sweating or kissing I feel kind of embarrassed by how she looks without it, if she notices herself she would rush off to fix it because Im pretty sure she is embarrassed by it herself.

Once I told her that all her make up was gone and she went off and put it back on, she didnt seem as though I was saying something bad, but I felt really guilty and would be afraid to say anything to her about it incase shes hurt by what I say.

Its also not just her, I would find almost any girl unattractive without make up! Is this something I should feel guilty about?

I would think so yes.

You say it does not bother you in private ...you are ashamed of her.

I would say yes. But that is me.

dee_mc

I don't think the issue here is whether you 'should' feel guilty. It's that you don't feel guilty about making the girl you supposedly love feel self conscious about her appearance.
Do both of you a favour and break up with her, I mean if you're embarrassed to be seen with her and concerned about what people will think of you for being with her, what future do ye have anyway?!
And don't even think about discussing this with her, as it's clearly your issue, not hers.

R.D. aka MR.D

This is 100% your issue. I feel so terrible for your girlfriend.

I've been with some one who had acne and acne scars. He was really paranoid about it but it honestly never bothered me. I only noticed if he complained.

You have this issue and that girl deserves to be with some one with a bit more maturity than to be ashamed of her in public. So maybe you can do her a favour and break up with her so she can find the right person for her.

A tip for the future: don't get into a relationship with some one that you aren't attracted to. That's a scumbag thing to do.

PLL

Love is seeing someone at their worst and still wanting them as much as you did when they were at their best.

Sorry but it is.

If you can't cope with how she looks when her make-up is off then you wouldn't survive through a pregnancy/childbirth which is very sad.

DylanII

I think everyone is being very harsh with the OP.

No woman is just as attractive without make up. He said he would be the same with any woman, not just this one.

It seems to me that the problem is more that he still thinks she beautiful (as he does in private) but cares way too much about what others think.

To be honest if my girlfriend wasn't wearing make up in a club or restaurant id be a little embarrassed too. Not because she's ugly but because it shows a lack of self respect (in my opinion).

He also said he would feel guilty about it, and only said something about it once, I don't think it's as bad as everyone seems to think .

baby and crumble

DylanII wrote: »

No woman is just as attractive without make up. He said he would be the same with any woman, not just this one.

....

To be honest if my girlfriend wasn't wearing make up in a club or restaurant id be a little embarrassed too. Not because she's ugly but because it shows a lack of self respect (in my opinion).

Wow. I am 32, female and never wear makeup. Makeup is one facet of being well groomed. To imply that I don't have respect for myself because I don't put chemical on my skin to alter my appearance daily is so unbelievably ignorant and arrogant.

Op, you need to be with someone you find just as attractive at 7am with no makeup on getting dragged out of bed as you do after she puts her full makeup on. Especially if she has to wear such heavy makeup during the day all the time for medical/ serious cosmetic reasons. To say that you are embarrassed by her natural state in public is just awful.

dellas1979

DylanII wrote: »

To be honest if my girlfriend wasn't wearing make up in a club or restaurant id be a little embarrassed too. Not because she's ugly but because it shows a lack of self respect (in my opinion).

Oh hehehe this gave me a great laugh.
Really tickled me it did.

I dont wear make up very often (and if I do, it has to be very natural looking and to accentuate not to hide) 1. Because I dont like the feel of it on my skin. 2. Because to me its like wearing a mask (what am I hiding?).

If I get a spot break out, I couldnt careless if someone like you thought I should be covering them up. Thems are my spots. I grew 'em. My skin.

So, tell me, how is that lacking in self-respect that I choose not to cover my skin, with, what I perceive to be, a mask?

I remember being bridesmaid at a wedding in my early 20s. And I fought, oh lord, the arguments I had with my mother, about having to put on fake tan. My argument was that it was fake-it would be a fake me. And my mother fighting with "thats what women do!!!"

Every woman is beautiful, in her own way. To say that she is more beautiful with make up on, to cover something that is there/part of them, that is just fake m'dear.

DylanII

DylanII wrote: »

To be honest if my girlfriend wasn't wearing make up in a club or restaurant id be a little embarrassed too. Not because she's ugly but because it shows a lack of self respect (in my opinion).

I think it shows a lack of self-respect to be unable to show your bare face in public. You're allowed to like women that wear make up, that's your opinion/preference. If you think all women should wear make up that's one thing, but to say it shows a lack of self respect reflects some seriously messed up values. Make up is just something to help you look/feel a bit better. So are breast implants. Does it mean I have no self respect if I don't have breast implants?

NoMakeUpGuilt wrote: »

Its also not just her, I would find almost any girl unattractive without make up! Is this something I should feel guilty about?

I don't think you should feel guilty about how you feel, but I think you should be seriously worried about your values. If you can't find a woman attractive without make-up, it means you're essentially not attracted to women (as they naturally look). So how can you ever really be happy with anyone? I do think you should either re-evaluate what you think women should look like, or break up with your girlfriend, because it's downright cruel to be with someone if you're embarrassed of them in public.

Queen-Mise

NoMakeUpGuilt wrote: »

Hey guys,

Im with my girlfriend about 2 months now. I think I might love her, but there is just one little problem.

She has eczema and acne, she has to wear a special type of make up but it comes off so easy no matter what she does. When we are in private it doesnt bother me at all, I dont find her any less attractive.

But if we are out in public (partys/night clubs and all that kind of stuff) and it comes off from sweating or kissing I feel kind of embarrassed by how she looks without it, if she notices herself she would rush off to fix it because Im pretty sure she is embarrassed by it herself.

Once I told her that all her make up was gone and she went off and put it back on, she didnt seem as though I was saying something bad, but I felt really guilty and would be afraid to say anything to her about it incase shes hurt by what I say.

Its also not just her, I would find almost any girl unattractive without make up! Is this something I should feel guilty about?

OP - I don't think you did yourself any favours with the title of you post

I understand exactly what you are saying. No girl is attractive hot, sweaty, half your make up running down the face, and lip stick smeared. It isn't an attractive look. And in your GF's case this happens especially easily because of the type of makeup she uses.

You have a dilemma with this because you don't want to come across as controlling or horrible.
I'd ask your GF bluntly - does she want you to tell her when her make up begins to run. Bring up the subject sideways - ask her if there is any better products on the market.



On your last question. You like what you like. I have things I like and dislike about people. C'est la vie. Just don't judge the book by the cover.

Vito Corleone

If that's how you feel, that's how you feel. Don't know why you would feel guilty.

Chara1001

To be honest if my girlfriend wasn't wearing make up in a club or restaurant id be a little embarrassed too. Not because she's ugly but because it shows a lack of self respect (in my opinion).


I don't really know whether to be weirded out or laugh at this. What kind of thought processes have you gone through to make that observation? Seriously i'm really asking, I think this post is nearly worse than the op.

I don't want to give you or the op too much credit- but from these posts, i presume you're both young men. With A LOT to learn. I'd put you both under the age of 23, where you still have plenty of time to have this kind of thinking trained out of you.
How to do this? Actual real life exposure to real life women. Actually getting to know women, to become friends with them, to work with them, study with them, see them on a day to day basis, and not have your views set by nights out where the women you come across have spent a lot time and effort to look a certain way. Because this is the exception, NOT the rule.

Some women here don't wear makeup at all for comfort or simply out of choice. This is fine, this is in no way a lack of self respect, and to equate makeup to a sliding scale of self respect is one of the most childishly disrespectful judgements i have heard in a long time.

As for you op, well what can i say further?
This is entirely your problem, your thinking is skewed, and you've taken it to the stage where you point out to your gf that she needs to reapply her makeup in public.
I don't think you feel too bad about it as her reaction was not to be as offended as she could have been- and as many women would have been. This leads me to think that she's very aware and self conscious about her skin, and you pointing that out has confirmed that she's right to be.
You are embarrassed to be seen with her in public without makeup, in private you're ok but i'd really like to understand why- is it because you're conscious of other guys not finding her attractive? That it somehow relates to you and makes YOU look bad?

You're not doing her any favours by being with her- and you're reaffirming those things she's self conscious about. By doing this you're lowering her self esteem and why would you want to do that? I think you need to let her go, you're not doing her any good.

Idle Passerby

Contrary to your post title the issue isn't that you find your girlfriend unattractive without make-up, its that you are embarrassed to be seen with a girl who has bad skin. Since you have no problem with it in private, I'm guessing you feel people will judge you for the attractiveness of the girl your with. That's your own insecurity. I'd work on developing less of an interest in the shallow opinions of others.

Chara1001

Queen-Mise wrote: »

OP - I don't think you did yourself any favours with the title of you post

I understand exactly what you are saying. No girl is attractive hot, sweaty, half your make up running down the face, and lip stick smeared. It isn't an attractive look. And in your GF's case this happens especially easily because of the type of makeup she uses.

You have a dilemma with this because you don't want to come across as controlling or horrible.
I'd ask your GF bluntly - does she want you to tell her when her make up begins to run. Bring up the subject sideways - ask her if there is any better products on the market.



On your last question. You like what you like. I have things I like and dislike about people. C'est la vie. Just don't judge the book by the cover.

But he is

I'm guessing the OP is a teenager. No adult is so insecure that their self consciousness extends to worrying about how their partners looks reflect on them in other peoples eyes. That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it? He's ashamed of how his GF looks, but he should be more ashamed of his priorities.

As for the guy who thinks women don't respect themselves if they aren't wearing makeup...I hope he's a teenager. At least then there'd be a chance of him growing out of his childish judgments.

ElleEm

Chara1001 wrote: »

I don't want to give you or the op too much credit- but from these posts, i presume you're both young men. With A LOT to learn. I'd put you both under the age of 23, where you still have plenty of time to have this kind of thinking trained out of you.
How to do this? Actual real life exposure to real life women. Actually getting to know women, to become friends with them, to work with them, study with them, see them on a day to day basis, and not have your views set by nights out where the women you come across have spent a lot time and effort to look a certain way. Because this is the exception, NOT the rule.

This is so true. OP, you really come across so immature in your post. You certainly don't love this girl if you are embarrassed by how she looks naturally. I cannot begin to guess how she feels, because no matter how good an actor you are, she will certainly get the vibe off you that she doesn't look okay without painting her face.

Chara1001 wrote: »

Some women here don't wear makeup at all for comfort or simply out of choice. This is fine, this is in no way a lack of self respect, and to equate makeup to a sliding scale of self respect is one of the most childishly disrespectful judgements i have heard in a long time.

I rarely wear make- up. I definitely look better with it on, but I also look good enough (to myself and those who love me) without it on. My boyfriend compliments me when I am dressed (and made) up, but he also loves me when I am straight out of the shower with wet hair, just awake with puffy eyes and smelly breath or in jeans and a t- shirt. Real love moves past appearance. You will learn it at some stage, OP.

Vito Corleone

Candie wrote: »

No adult is so insecure that their self consciousness extends to worrying about how their partners looks reflect on them in other peoples eyes.

It something quite a lot of men would think about.

IrishEyes19

I can't believe you told your girlfriend her make up had come off, what a nasty thing to do! Guilty, yes you should feel guilty, you are constantly highlighting an issue that is probably very sensitive for her already.

I only wear make up when going out for the night and its very little, and I wear it because I like dressing up for the occasion. You need to take a hard look at yourself and re-evaluate your outlook on life, or you will end up alone. I reckon your girlfriend has self esteem issues. How could you make someone feel that way that you apparently love?

Stavro Mueller

You asked should you feel guilty about this issue? I suppose yes would be the answer but that's not going to do you any good, is it? Attraction isn't unconditional - all you need to do is open up a thread here where someone's partner has gained weight to see how the issue polarises people. You like what you like.

I had bad acne when I was younger so I know all about the self-consciousness and the horror of looking in mirrors to see that my make-up had worn off and my pizza face was back for all to see. Thank god nobody ever commented on it at the time because I know it would've been embarrassing and upsetting. I'm sure your girlfriend feels the very same. It must be doubly awful for her because the eczema (and maybe the acne) is here to stay.

It's inevitable that your girlfriend's make-up is going to wear off when you're out in public. So can you face into years of being seen out with her while her skin doesn't look the best? If the answer is no, then you've got questions to ask yourself concerning your future.

Legs.Eleven

Vito Corleone wrote: »

It something quite a lot of men would think about.

Vito, I'm familiar with you as a poster and with all due respect, you're a young man (around 20?) yourself. As you get older, you'll realise what others think of you is not the be all and end all and you grow out of those kinds of insecurities.

beks101

If you would find any girl unattractive without makeup then you definitely have a problem. Women take their makeup off. Even the most caked, make-up obsessed people I know take it off going to bed, or for knocking around the house, or exercising, 'off days' etc. What's your game plan for those days? Make yourself scarce? Take sex off the cards until she can squeeze a moment to hop into the bathroom and slap on some warpaint?

Have you considered the fact that the makeup may well be detrimental to your girlfriend's skin conditions? I suffered from acne for years and without exception, makeup would make the problem worse. It was a vicious circle because I caked it on to cover up, yet in doing so would aggravate my skin further - and that probably prolonged the problem by years for me. Didn't give my skin the chance to breathe and to naturally restore its own PH balance - and that was without a judgemental boyfriend around to make me feel insecure and inadequate.

If you really 'loved' this girl, that would be a greater concern and worry for you than the fact that some people might - shock, horror! - see that your girlfriend's skin isn't flawless.

If you can't get over this issue, do her a favour and let her loose before you damage her self-esteem even more than you likely already have. Skin conditions like acne are simply soul-destroying and can wreak havoc with someone's self-confidence - at my worst, and it wasn't completely and utterly terrible in the first place, I would avoid mirrors because my self reflection would make me cry. I struggled to look people in the eye and would instictively hide my face with my hands - it's a horrible, upsetting and incredibly frustrating condition that can often be unresponsive to conventional treatment and it can take years to find a solution that works. Please don't make it even more difficult on this girl by literally confirming her worst fears and insecurities - that she IS unattractive and her face IS repulsive and disgusting - and I've no doubt that's exactly what your behaviour and demeanour around her is conveying.

Louise Jordan

I respect that you have come on here OP to ask if you should feel ashamed? To me, this sounds like you do feel ashamed and you are hoping people will tell you not too.

I have very pale skin, it's impossible for me to tan and nowadats I would always wear fake tan if I'm going anywhere important, I'm self concious about my milk bottle legs etc. I spent a summer in spain with my first serious boyfriend and the sun cream and the fake tan were not friends so I wound up going without the fake tan in an effort to not get burned. It was fine when we were by ourselves and i wasn't too self conscious about it honestly and one night when we went out to dinner and a group of Spainish kids walked by us chatting in Spanish and then all of a sudden they started laughing hilariously, I was aware of it but didn't feel it had any bearing on us. Afterwards my boyfriend who speaks spanish told me that they were laughing at how white my legs were. I wore jeans for the rest of the holiday and couldn't wait to get home. On the plane home he admitted he had no idea what they were laughing at and he was just mortified by how white I was..... I actually have never recovered, and as it transpired he was an all-round asshole.

Don't waste this girls time, you'll do more harm than good to her in the long run

Tasden

Louise Jordan wrote: »

I respect that you have come on here OP to ask if you should feel ashamed? To me, this sounds like you do feel ashamed and you are hoping people will tell you not too.

I have very pale skin, it's impossible for me to tan and nowadats I would always wear fake tan if I'm going anywhere important, I'm self concious about my milk bottle legs etc. I spent a summer in spain with my first serious boyfriend and the sun cream and the fake tan were not friends so I wound up going without the fake tan in an effort to not get burned. It was fine when we were by ourselves and i wasn't too self conscious about it honestly and one night when we went out to dinner and a group of Spainish kids walked by us chatting in Spanish and then all of a sudden they started laughing hilariously, I was aware of it but didn't feel it had any bearing on us. Afterwards my boyfriend who speaks spanish told me that they were laughing at how white my legs were. I wore jeans for the rest of the holiday and couldn't wait to get home. On the plane home he admitted he had no idea what they were laughing at and he was just mortified by how white I was..... I actually have never recovered, and as it transpired he was an all-round asshole.

Don't waste this girls time, you'll do more harm than good to her in the long run

This made me well up a little

I hope you realise how horrible he was and that the colour of your skin really doesn't matter! Most of us feel a bit better with some tan or makeup on but I'd hope most girls realise that the majority of people don't actually care if your legs are tanned or not. Why on earth would they?! You're only around for a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things, don't spend it worrying about what shade of brown/orange your legs are!

Richy06

Speaking as a man, I hate seeing a pale Irish, or any nationality, girl sullying her skin with fake tan, make up and other products to impart the 'tan' look. It never looks right and whilst it may give the wearer a sense of self confidence, it's a false confidence. Almost always, they look better without it. Even less, is more. It's so sad to me that ladies feel the need to wear this second skin. Wear your skin with pride and if anyone, a man especially, says any different well then he's not worth the same air you breath or spending anything more than a passing thought upon.

LegacyUser

Richy06 wrote: »

Speaking as a man, I hate seeing a pale Irish, or any nationality, girl sullying her skin with fake tan, make up and other products to impart the 'tan' look. It never looks right and whilst it may give the wearer a sense of self confidence, it's a false confidence. Almost always, they look better without it. Even less, is more. It's so sad to me that ladies feel the need to wear this second skin. Wear your skin with pride and if anyone, a man especially, says any different well then he's not worth the same air you breath or spending anything more than a passing thought upon.

We need more men like you!! What a lovely post

Richy06

It's always been a subject close to my heart to be honest. It's always bothered me and I've seen first hand the nastiness that can come from fellow ladies as well as men that can come when someone who doesn't try to slather themselves with all manner of chemicals. It can completely shatter someone's confidence and sense of self. This can affect a person for life and can lead to a lot of unhappiness.

The day women can free themselves from the whole beauty/cosmetic industry will be a great day indeed.

Be careful what you say to people, consider your words and the weight they carry, you really never know how they're going to take it or the effect it may take going forward.

Emme

OP, are you very young?

Let the girl go and find someone who loves her for herself and isn't ashamed to see her without makeup. Ironically you could be inadvertently making her skin worse - if she covers it up with make-up all the time this might not help her eczema or improve her skin without make-up. Stress can also make eczema worse and the stress of trying to look perfect for you might not be helping her.

If I was giving your girlfriend advice I would say to her end the relationship with the guy who doesn't want be seen with you. Take time out to go without makeup and take a good look at your diet and lifestyle.

If you end the relationship you will be doing her a huge favour.

LegacyUser

Richy06 wrote: »

Speaking as a man, I hate seeing a pale Irish, or any nationality, girl sullying her skin with fake tan, make up and other products to impart the 'tan' look. It never looks right and whilst it may give the wearer a sense of self confidence, it's a false confidence. Almost always, they look better without it. Even less, is more. It's so sad to me that ladies feel the need to wear this second skin. Wear your skin with pride and if anyone, a man especially, says any different well then he's not worth the same air you breath or spending anything more than a passing thought upon.

Yes, because women wear makeup for men and care what they think. Give me a break, I could care less if you think I look horrible with red lipstick and mascara on. If looking tan makes me happy, that's all that matters.

Richy06

iwearmakeup wrote: »

Yes, because women wear makeup for men and care what they think. Give me a break, I could care less if you think I look horrible with red lipstick and mascara on. If looking tan makes me happy, that's all that matters.

I didn't say all makeup. Take from it what you will. Makeup when it's used right is wonderful. But some feel the need to do it because...why? I've heard women say they wouldn't leave the house or go out in public without it on. It's those I'm referring to. The choice should be all yours, but the pressure to look a certain way is one felt by many.

Why would you want to 'look' tanned? Are you ashamed of your skin, of how you actually ARE? I'm not denying the fact it makes you happy, but the motivation for it.

Having said all that, I'm pretty sure I never said that women wear it for men. But saying they don't care what the opposite (or the same, depending on what way they swing) sex thinks? That's just posturing.

Richy06

Richy06 wrote: »

I didn't say all makeup. Take from it what you will. Makeup when it's used right is wonderful. But some feel the need to do it because...why? I've heard women say they wouldn't leave the house or go out in public without it on. It's those I'm referring to. The choice should be all yours, but the pressure to look a certain way is one felt by many.

Why would you want to 'look' tanned? Are you ashamed of your skin, of how you actually ARE? I'm not denying the fact it makes you happy, but the motivation for it.

Having said all that, I'm pretty sure I never said that women wear it for men. But saying they don't care what the opposite (or the same, depending on what way they swing) sex thinks? That's just posturing.

People wear make up (or not) for many different reasons, I'd say very few of those reasons involve 'issues'.

Most girls just like to look their best. It's really that simple.

Vito Corleone

Well, this is a little different to just pale skin in fairness. I'm not bothered about tan or make up and actually like pale skin, but what the OP describes would probably be enough to make someone not attractive to me. And in the end of the day you can't help what you are attracted to. I don't know why the OP is getting so much harsh treatment if I'm honest.

strobe

OP, you don't find the girl particularly attractive (there's nothing wrong with that, you're attracted to what you're attracted to (or not)) and you don't love her. There's another 3.5 billion or so women in the world, so let this one go, and go find one of the others. It sounds like you're with her because you want a girlfriend and she's who you happened to end up with. That situation isn't good for either of you. Both of you should be with someone they really want to be with and that really wants to be with them. People are not a scarce resource, there's fuvktons of them around, so best to end things and you both can find someone else.

dellas1979

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Well, this is a little different to just pale skin in fairness. I'm not bothered about tan or make up and actually like pale skin, but what the OP describes would probably be enough to make someone not attractive to me. And in the end of the day you can't help what you are attracted to. I don't know why the OP is getting so much harsh treatment if I'm honest.

The point is, if you dont find someone attractive, let them go.
There is no need to be cruel.

Take something that you yourself are self-conscious about (there is something). Whatever part of your body that is. Imagine your partner who "loves" you pointing it out to you. Being embarrassed about it. Morto in public.

Vito Corleone

dellas1979 wrote: »

The point is, if you dont find someone attractive, let them go.
There is no need to be cruel.

Take something that you yourself are self-conscious about (there is something). Whatever part of your body that is. Imagine your partner who "loves" you pointing it out to you. Being embarrassed about it. Morto in public.

Yes, but the harsh comments the OP received were unnecessary. People could have just given him advice, I feel some posters let their own insecurities seep into their posts on this forum too often.

Stavro Mueller

Apparently it's OK when they're by themselves...

She has eczema and acne, she has to wear a special type of make up but it comes off so easy no matter what she does. When we are in private it doesn't bother me at all, I don't find her any less attractive.

I can only assume that this isn't to do with attraction at all but embarrassment. You're bothered about people seeing you out with Miss Pizza Face, aren't you? If you can't come to terms with it, I don't see any other option but to break up with your girlfriend. Especially if (as I suspect) she's always going to have problem skin.

dellas1979

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Yes, but the harsh comments the OP received were unnecessary. People could have just given him advice, I feel some posters let their own insecurities seep into their posts on this forum too often.

The OP is the one with the insecurity.
The advice concludes to if he doesnt find someone attractive, and is projecting his insecurity onto her, then he most likely shouldnt be with her.

There was also some other mindless comment about "women not wearing make-up having no self-respect, yadayada ladies ye need to cover yer faces" comment which people responded to.

Vito Corleone

dellas1979 wrote: »

The OP is the one with the insecurity.
The advice concludes to if he doesnt find someone attractive, and is projecting his insecurity onto her, then he most likely shouldnt be with her.

There was also some other mindless comment about "women not wearing make-up having no self-respect, yadayada ladies ye need to cover yer faces" comment which people responded to.

He can't help if he's embarrassed by her face, but, yeah, probably best to call it a day if he can't get over it.

But some of the judgment on this forum is just such a pain to read, and completely unhelpful.

dellas1979

Vito Corleone wrote: »

But some of the judgment on this forum is just such a pain a read, and completely unhelpful.

Yeah - I know I agree! The unnecessary, judgemental, and unhelpful "yadayada ladies ye need to cover yer faces have ye no self respect" comment was right up that street.

dellas1979

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Probably best to call it a day if he can't get over it.

Well, the options are 1. to just be with her in private. 2. When in public keep her covered up 3. deal with his own issue with this (which Id think he'd choose 1 and 2, over 3 and 5). Or 5. do the humane thing and let her go. Noone should be made feel like they are an embarassment.

Who knows, maybe life experience will make him choose no. 3 some day.