Emotional detachment, good or bad ?

new32234

Hi going to get straight to the point

I'm an emotional detached person and I wonder if this is a good thing for me or a bad thing ??

I'd like to set up a poll thing on this thread to let readers vote whether emotional detachment is good or bad for me but I dont know how to set a poll

any advice would be great thanks

Alf. A. Male

I don't think this forum allows polls, but it'd be a terrible idea anyway. Can you say how the emotional detachment manifests itself?

new32234

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

Can you say how the emotional detachment manifests itself?

how it manifests itself ??

Im not entirely sure, people just kept on emotionally hurting me, it seemed like a constant pain and suffering that I had to go through day in day out throughout my life, the pain & suffering got seriously bad

One day I just didnt feel anything towards the people that hurt me so badly, I haven't experienced any emotional pain since that day

dee_mc

It sounds like you're subconsciously trying to protect yourself from being hurt again (if I don't feel, I can't feel hurt).
I can't imagine it being a good thing in the long term - I'd imagine it prevents you from forming close relationships with people?
If I were you I'd go to the GP and see about a referral for counselling, which might help you to deal with your feelings instead of repressing them.

new32234

dee_mc wrote: »

I'd imagine it prevents you from forming close relationships with people?
If I were you I'd go to the GP and see about a referral for counselling, which might help you to deal with your feelings instead of repressing them.

I wouldn't say it prevents me, I can form friendships & relationships if I chose to do so, but I just don't want to

new32234

Timmehhh wrote: »

You felt depressed as you said,

I never said I felt depressed ???

I don't feel anything emotional wise, I dont feel depressed

happiness joy longing sorrow, I know what these feelings mean by they never come to pass

dee_mc

new32234 wrote: »

I never said I felt depressed ???

I don't feel anything emotional wise, I dont feel depressed

happiness joy longing sorrow, I know what these feelings mean by they never come to pass

You mentioned pain and suffering, followed by feeling nothing emotionally, both of which states could point to depression or something similar.
I've been depressed in the past, and I'm sure I mentioned in a previous post on boards how surprised I was by the diagnosis, because I assumed being depressed meant feeling constantly sad, whereas I felt pretty much nothing - no joy as such, no sadness as such; a feeling of pretty much total detachment.
I know I'm repeating myself but I'd strongly recommend a visit to the GP, who might suggest counselling, medication, a combination of these, coping strategies... It's good to get these things sorted.

Queen-Mise

new32234 wrote: »

how it manifests itself ??

Im not entirely sure, people just kept on emotionally hurting me, it seemed like a constant pain and suffering that I had to go through day in day out throughout my life, the pain & suffering got seriously bad

One day I just didnt feel anything towards the people that hurt me so badly, I haven't experienced any emotional pain since that day

Oh deary me - that is so unhealthy.

To be human is to suffer. We all 'suffer' or experience pain, joy, hurt, etc; emotions basically. The trick is learning how to cope with them. Or spotting trouble-makers (like emotional users) and keeping up boundaries against them.

But to cut off all emotional feelings is inviting trouble. What happens the day when you can't suppress or ignore them any longer and you have years worth of stuff built up.

I can keep myself pretty emotionally distant from people if I want but I learnt how to do it. I am not cutting off the emotions or preventing myself from feeling them.

I'd be concerned OP about the way you are keeping yourself emotionally distant.

ongarboy

I also agree it's unhealthy. OK, you might shield yourself from some of the hurt and pain by not getting emotionally involved, but you also shield yourself from joy, love, affection, closeness, intimacy and countless other good feelings that help humans overcome the tough times. You've admitted that you've shunned friendships and relationships because of being detached so you are already doing more damage to yourself.

Asking for a poll to validate your stance is useless as everyone endures personal issues in different ways based on their completely different backgrounds, environments and experiences so any votes would be meaningless.

Would you consider counselling to try and address this? You have a long life ahead of you that has so much potential for great emotional happiness and honest inner peace - it would be a shame to deprive yourself of this.

Lou.m

A balance of both is good.

Controlled detachment for certain situations and allow yourself to go with what you feel sometimes.


Some people though mistake wallowing after negative experiences for detachment.

That to me sounds what the OP is doing simply wallowing.

I hate emotional drama over superficial crap my relationships tend to be on the calm positive loving side. If someone is causing unneeded stress that is childish i have no problem forgetting about that person. But I would not say I am doing it deliberately.

Without feeling you cannot answer basic questions like what would you like to do with your life? What do you feel about this or that?

You would end up in a very boring job being a very boring person with no passion.

Cut the assholes out of your life pretty quick and leave it at that.

blatantrereg

I wouldn't describe that as emotional detachment but more an emotional flatline. I would think of emotional detachment as when you still feel emotions, but put them aside - so they don't obviously influence your thoughts or behaviour. What you describe sounds like you might be withdrawn or depressed.