Online Dating and Asking Someone Out

A_Sober_Paddy

Hey all,

So was having a conversation with a mate there, and we got talking about online dating, and he tells me that his been chatting to this one for nearly a week on POF, and asked how long is too long to wait for asking her out...And how exactly he'd do it.

My suggestion was just ask her for a drink or whatever, but I was unable to give him a timeframe, of when would be too soon or too late...

What do ye guys think?

MagicMarker

He should have done it already.

Grandpa Hassan

After a week she is pretty much a pen pal. In the week they've been chatting I wonder how many other guys have asked her out

Alf. A. Male

Jaysis, the definition of online dating is to meet quickly enough. Few mails, ask her out, don't drag it out until she loses interest.

woodchuck

I've a good bit of experience with this lately, and personally I think a week or so is just about right. So now is the perfect time to ask imho

It is all a matter of opinion though, some people prefer to wait a month or more, others after just a few messages. Nothing to lose by asking anyway!

zxcvbnm1

Personally I ask them out after half a dozen messages over and back or so.

Why would you want to mail a stranger for a week ???

A_Sober_Paddy

Well here is some news, he was messaging her earlier and asked her out, they are doing something during the week, his well happy...

Now me asking here wasn't a purely selfless act, i'm also in a similar situation, but only been messaging for a few days(3)...So i messaged her and we are hoping to meet up this weekend when we're both free, I'm new to this online dating thing, well new to actually messaging people on it anyways :P

woodchuck

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

Personally I ask them out after half a dozen messages over and back or so.

Why would you want to mail a stranger for a week ???

Sometimes it can take a week just to send a half a dozen messages over and back. It depends on the quality of the messages, length of the messages, time available to reply to the messages etc.

The best of luck on your date OP

Grandpa Hassan

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Well here is some news, he was messaging her earlier and asked her out, they are doing something during the week, his well happy...

Now me asking here wasn't a purely selfless act, i'm also in a similar situation, but only been messaging for a few days(3)...So i messaged her and we are hoping to meet up this weekend when we're both free, I'm new to this online dating thing, well new to actually messaging people on it anyways :P

You mean up until now you've just been lurking and looking at the pretty photos!? :eek:

GreeBo

Different strokes...
I used to chat for quiet a bit before asking out, in some cases over a month.

Personally I find it useful to get to know someone without being confused by being physically attracted to them straight away.

I actually found it off putting anytime a girl asked me out after a couple of msgs...to me it implies after one thing. (yes, thinly veiled I'm a super stud!)

Sun in Capri

A few messages and than ask for a date otherwise a vision of what the person is like is created your head in extremes and the real person is likely to be a disappointment.

Lenmeister

Grandpa Hassan wrote: »

After a week she is pretty much a pen pal. In the week they've been chatting I wonder how many other guys have asked her out

Say what? That's a rediculous thing to say. Every woman is different. Women get tons of messages on every Online Dating platform. It doesn't matter how many guys ask her out, she is only interested in who she likes, not every guy that messages her. 90% of guys will be ignored anyway. Same story offline. Lots of girls will ignore guys asking them out as soon as there's an oppertunity and appreciate someone who takes that little bit of time to have some kind of conversation with them.

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

Jaysis, the definition of online dating is to meet quickly enough. Few mails, ask her out, don't drag it out until she loses interest.

Says who? Maybe on Tinder or AdultFriendFinder. Not that many who use online dating wants to meet asap.

Has it ever occured to you lads that a lot of people use OD so they can get to know someone a bit before they meet up to make sure they're on the same page as you, not clueless, aren't kids etc?

Honestly Paddy there is not set "time frame" - the right time is the right time. It can be as quick as 1 hour after you start chatting or 3 weeks later, just depends how you both get on.

Join the Online Dating forum yourself Paddy to get a better idea of peoples opinions on everything to do with it.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1591

levi12

Every girl is different every relationship style is different. Personally if ur talking to me abd ask me out after a few days....it could look like u dint care about the person....more about rushing into something with an online stranger....so be careful...u might think a week is long enough for a date....another person might think tht a little too fast.

levi12

Every girl is different every relationship style is different. Personally if ur talking to me abd ask me out after a few days....it could look like u dint care about the person....more about rushing into something with an online stranger....so be careful...u might think a week is long enough for a date....another person might think tht a little too fast.

levi12

Every girl is different every relationship style is different. Personally if ur talking to me abd ask me out after a few days....it could look like u dint care about the person....more about rushing into something with an online stranger....so be careful...u might think a week is long enough for a date....another person might think tht a little too fast.

A_Sober_Paddy

Went on my date last night and it went very well, we are meeting again during the week, had so much fun, she was great craic:D

pajodublin

Some absolute tosh posted in here.
I met my wife online. We chatted for 3 weeks over email before I asked her out on a 'date' (coffee)
That was 4.5 years ago and we've been married 4 weeks.
Online dating is not rocket science. Ask whenever you feel comfortable asking.

Lou.m

When it feels like the right time.

A_Sober_Paddy

Said i'd pop back in...All going well after about 11 weeks since our first date:D