Abnormal dislike/jealousy of people sometimes

LegacyUser

I really don't get myself sometimes. I am naturally a pretty introverted person, but some days, like today, I actually just don't feel like talking to anybody at all. When you work this becomes awkward as you are already thought of as the quietest person in the office, it will get to the stage where nobody bothers with me. But it gets worse.

On days like today I feel an abnormal dislike for people. Disliking them because they are easily able to socially integrate and I am not. Disliking them because they don't have anxiety. Angry because they don't attempt to include me in conversations. Maybe dislike is the wrong word and possibly jealousy is more accurate. But basically the feeling I had today at work was that I can't stand to be in this place around people who are just so much better at naturally human things like being social than me. I felt like walking out the door and not returning.

I'm actually a fairly normal person with varied interests and a decent sense of humour but I spent a lot of the last 8 years alone in my room watching porn and playing video games which obviously isn't conductive to social behaviour. I wasn't completely anti-social though and always managed to have 1-3 good friends and had a girlfriend until a couple of years ago.

I just don't get the big secret behind it all. Being naturally social is not something I feel I can achieve and it's hurting me knowing that I am now 24 and time is running out fast to cop on. I'm decent socially with a few drinks on me but that's hardly a way to live life. Can't be drinking in work obviously! I have been to college and went through the exact same thing of being too shy and sometimes feeling jealous/angry. I made a couple of friends eventually but it was a big struggle.

Thanks to anyone for reading this i'm not even sure what advice I am looking for but if anyone has anything to say it would be appreciated because at my age I feel years behind where I ought to be in terms of social development.

Merkin

Roooooop wrote: »

I'm actually a fairly normal person with varied interests and a decent sense of humour but I spent a lot of the last 8 years alone in my room watching porn and playing video games which obviously isn't conductive to social behaviour.

I think you've hit the nail on the head here. If you were the most jazz-hands, life and soul of the party person and did this it would have a huge impact on how you interact with people and doing this has obviously had an effect.

I think you need to step right out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself by doing something that will necessitate you speaking up in public and putting yourself out there. Are you based in Dublin? You should look at Toast Masters which is a group who meet once a month to help you with public speaking. I've heard great reports. http://www.dublintoastmasters.ie/

You could also look at joining an amateur dramatics society, there are lots peppered around the place and something like this would also help you with your confidence.

You're only 24 and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let the next 8 years go by in a haze of solitary confinement because you would miss out on so much. If you challenge yourself you will improve your life no end and build up your confidence bit by bit.

gugleguy

OP trying to broaden your horizons in the video game context here. Why not check out the Games forum here on boards. There's a retro section. You just maybe could find common company , thought I'd throw it out.

Xterminator

Hi OP

I would liken social skills to playing a musical instrument. If you dont exercise your social skills you certainly wont get any better at it. But with practise you can improve. and its never to late to start.

Take the initiative. join a club or volunteer somewhere - there are plenty of places crying out. I dont know if you ever saw that ad "travel yourself interesting" but its an interesting premise. If you sit at home every evening, you don't have a lot of interesting topics to chat about.

But if you get some outside interests - like helping with Simon, salvation army ,or in your local church, or a local club; maybe taking an evening class; there are so many things you could do.

This will lead you to meet people with whom you have a blank slate socially, and you can start afresh, learning from past lessons by making a real effort to be social to develop acquaintance and maybe even friendship.

Put that time you sit in your room to better use.

X