In a Rut and Need to Get Out

LegacyUser

I feel my life has (or is) starting to pass me by and go out on a whimper. A lot of it is to do with my current situation. I live at home with my parents and sister who I get on great with. But I'm 25 and need to move on.

I was in a job I hated for 5 years straight after leaving secondary school. The stress I was put under by management really got to me from day 1 but I just bottled it up and pushed on. 3 years ago I decided I had enough and couldn't work in something I didn't like, I just couldn't live like this. I decided to move into doing something I love which was video production, seeing as I loved film and I really made a choice that I wanted to work in something that made me happy. I did a years diploma and finished up about 2 years ago.

But now I think I may be depressed because I don't have a job ... in the 2 years since I've made a couple of student/short films but it's so expensive to make them and I really feel like it's something I should be doing on the side while working because it's the only way I'd be able to afford it. At the same time I hate the thought of working in this country (nothing against the country, I just feel if I don't leave now I never will) ... but to leave I need a job to save, especially because I'm on the dole and everyone here knows jobs are hard to come by.

I've started hating the decision to do the diploma course because I did it with money I'd saved from working and now I regret not using that money to travel and giving up the job (even though I hated it) really affected my financial situation. For the past 2 years I've lived at home and I'm coming under the parents income level and only getting €52/week which is a pittance really. You might think my parents are well off but the means test is really only based on their income, which while high enough to deem I'm only deserving of €52/week ignores their expenses - they have massive expenses, they remortgaged for when my sister went to college abroad and they have other debts.

As a side note: I've been to the social welfare about this many times and appealed to no success, but this post isn't about that.

The majority of my friends have either left the country or have left and came back. I feel even the ones that came back still got to experience something different. A lot of them told me to do the teaching language abroad thing but because I don't have a degree I'd have to do the Celta which costs €1800 and then need money on top of that to move.

I really feel my life has totally stagnated. I literally spent most of the last 2 years at home because I'd no money to do anything. Then at the start of this year I decided to make myself more outgoing (I'd go for nights out on the cheap, no drink, etc.) and this is what has really pushed me over the edge - a few months ago I started seeing a girl and long story short her Canadian visa came through, she applied before we met and is moving in 2 weeks. Now it's not a case of me expecting her to stay or anything but just the thought of this - it is more important for her to travel than it is for her to stay with me. And I understand we are only going out 3 months, but it really hammered home the importance of getting away from this country, that she feels it's worth more of a chance of her going to Canada for 2 years on her own than it is to stay with me here. And I agree with her, I'd do the same in her situation. I really feel I need to get out.

I'm sure there's plenty of people in this here that are/were in similar situations. Those that got out of it I'd love to hear how and those that are still here I'd love to know how you fill the void.

stickybookmark

In a Rut wrote: »

At the same time I hate the thought of working in this country (nothing against the country, I just feel if I don't leave now I never will) ... but to leave I need a job to save, especially because I'm on the dole and everyone here knows jobs are hard to come by.

Does this statement mean that you could get a job if you tried to find one but you're not really trying that hard because you hate the thought of working in this country?
Because the obvious thing for you to do is to get a job, save up some money and emigrate. Sounds like your parents are already stretched if they remortgaged their house to pay for your sister's college abroad. Plus they are allowing you to live at home so I presume giving you bed and board.
You'd never know though, they might save money if you moved out so there could be a financial incentive for them to lend you the money to emigrate? First thing you should calculate how much money you need. Look into the different countries you could go to, maybe you could move to somewhere in Europe and you don't even need to go as far as Canada or Australia. Research where seems to have a good economy/plenty of jobs.

Have you exhausted job opportunities in your area? Could you look for a job in a bigger city in Ireland than where you are (e.g. move to Dublin). Do you have someone you could stay with until you get your first month's pay cheque and get your own place? You need to start putting plans together and then figuring out step-by-step how you can make it happen. First off you need to lose the sense of hopelessness and helplessness. And there's no point looking back with regret that you spent your savings on the video dipolma, that's done and dusted now you can't go back and change it. You're only 25 you have plenty of time to turn your fortunes/life around. But you need to put your thinking cap on and start coming up with ideas. If you have a sensible, affordable plan it's much more likely your parents might back you in it and give you a few quid to get you started. E.g. if you secure a job somewhere they might be willing to give you your first month's rent and deposit for a room in a shared house near the job.

Maphisto

Hi OP I sympathise with your plight.

The idea of looking at Europe in the post above makes sense. Have any of your friends gone that route? Are you in touch with them? Could they ease your move over with short term accomodation, maybe a start at a job (anything would do for a couple of months)

Wish you well OP