Life Goals 30+

bogwalrus

Have any of you set life goals that you have stuck with?

I will be 30 next year and making a list of life goals. My big fear is that I will be in my fifties diagnosed with a terminal illness and have so many regrets so I really want to stick to a plan that I have made.

Some of them are pretty basic such as finding a job you are happy with, get a degree, go on more cultural holidays, own a home, Avoid unnecessary debts, Live life more fully and be happier etc.

I was talking to my partner about setting these goals and she thinks it is weird. She says that if she is on her death bed and can look back on her life and say she is happy then she will have no regrets.

Although it is nice what she is saying I do not think life works like that. I think we will all have regrets in life when we know we are going to die. I just want to make sure I can die with a smile on my face and not thinking I wasted my time.


So is she right. Am I really just being weird?

snaphook

Not weird at all. You're only human.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-actualization

bogwalrus

Apparently I'll be an "older woman" when I hit 30 so I'll just sit in the corner and knit and occasionally nod off

bogwalrus wrote: »

I will be 30 next year and making a list of life goals. My big fear is that I will be in my fifties diagnosed with a terminal illness and have so many regrets so I really want to stick to a plan that I have made.


I was talking to my partner about setting these goals and she thinks it is weird. She says that if she is on her death bed and can look back on her life and say she is happy then she will have no regrets.

I think the two of you are saying the same thing

Duggy747

I made a grunting sound when I got up off the couch the other day.


I've prepared my will and have the coffin ready.

Alf. A. Male

I had a set of goals at that stage and I look back at them now and thank God they didn't come to pass, I had much better fun abandoning them to get involved in unexpected opportunities that came along. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Knex*

bogwalrus wrote: »

Have any of you set life goals that you have stuck with?

I will be 30 next year and making a list of life goals. My big fear is that I will be in my fifties diagnosed with a terminal illness and have so many regrets so I really want to stick to a plan that I have made.

Some of them are pretty basic such as finding a job you are happy with, get a degree, go on more cultural holidays, own a home, Avoid unnecessary debts, Live life more fully and be happier etc.

I was talking to my partner about setting these goals and she thinks it is weird. She says that if she is on her death bed and can look back on her life and say she is happy then she will have no regrets.

Although it is nice what she is saying I do not think life works like that. I think we will all have regrets in life when we know we are going to die. I just want to make sure I can die with a smile on my face and not thinking I wasted my time.


So is she right. Am I really just being weird?

Don't put that at the top of your list, or you may never get around to the rest.

Although, being happy with a job and enjoying it are probably two very different things.

ScumLord

bogwalrus wrote: »

Some of them are pretty basic such as finding a job you are happy with, get a degree, go on more cultural holidays, own a home, Avoid unnecessary debts, Live life more fully and be happier etc

Your goals are unrealistic and undefined. Set real atenable goals for the short term.

"find a job you're happy with"? What does that even mean? One that you can go into and doesn't make you want to jump out the nearest window? I wouldn't look towards employment for self fulfilment, find out what you like first the job might find you if you follow your interests.

Get a degree? Just a degree? Any degree? Why waste years of your life on something just because others say it's worth while? You can learn anything you want to a high standard outside of the education system if you just want to learn for your own satisfaction.

Go on more cultural holidays I can agree with, do it now.

"Own a Home" ewwuuu, why?

"Avoid unnecessary debts" like a house?

"Live life more fully and be happier" That's about as general as you can get.

Caliden

ScumLord wrote: »

Your goals are unrealistic and undefined. Set real atenable goals for the short term.

"find a job you're happy with"? What does that even mean? One that you can go into and doesn't make you want to jump out the nearest window? I wouldn't look towards employment for self fulfilment, find out what you like first the job might find you if you follow your interests.

Get a degree? Just a degree? Any degree? Why waste years of your life on something just because others say it's worth while? You can learn anything you want to a high standard outside of the education system if you just want to learn for your own satisfaction.

Go on more cultural holidays I can agree with, do it now.

"Own a Home" ewwuuu, why?

"Avoid unnecessary debts" like a house?

"Live life more fully and be happier" That's about as general as you can get.

You seriously have no desire to own some place that you can call 'home'?

Knex*

ScumLord wrote: »

"Own a Home" ewwuuu, why?

"Avoid unnecessary debts" like a house?

:pac:

bogwalrus

bluewolf wrote: »

I think the two of you are saying the same thing

Well being happy is very broad. I could probably say on my death bed that I lived a happy life but still have my regrets. She is saying as long as she can say she is happy she will have no regrets.

ScumLord

Caliden wrote: »

You seriously have no desire to own some place that you can call 'home'?

Not really, I don't see the point. It's like an anchor tying you down. All I need is a roof over my head, I don't really need the false sense of ownership. I won't under any circumstances be beholden to a bank.

Nichololas

ScumLord wrote: »

"find a job you're happy with"? What does that even mean? One that you can go into and doesn't make you want to jump out the nearest window? I wouldn't look towards employment for self fulfilment, find out what you like first the job might find you if you follow your interests.

I guess something that aligns large, overarching goals like 'help humanity fight cancer' with something where the day-to-day is also enjoyable. I couldn't handle the stress of being a doctor managing patients (and work-load!), but I can write medical software that'll help .. If your overarching goal is 'make people happy everyday' you could be happy as a barista.

I think you shouldn't look only to employment for self fulfillment, but it's definitely something you should consider strongly.

Mink

I'm not great with long term goals, I work better with short term 6 month goals for example;
1) sort out all my backlogged taxes,
2) get knocked up,
3) Start and finish a painting.

They're attainable and real and more or less converge into my airy fairy happiness longterm goals

snaphook

If you aim at nothing, that's exactly what you will hit.

anncoates

Not really.

It's my life, not a project meeting.

bogwalrus

ScumLord wrote: »

Your goals are unrealistic and undefined. Set real atenable goals for the short term.

"find a job you're happy with"? What does that even mean? One that you can go into and doesn't make you want to jump out the nearest window? I wouldn't look towards employment for self fulfilment, find out what you like first the job might find you if you follow your interests.

My goals are in no order at the moment.

In relation to work I completely agree with what you say. I have had many garbage jobs over the years and realise that I no longer want to work for companies that do no contribute positively to the world. Even if the people I work with are annoying at least the work I do is positive. So I mean happiness in the sense I can be happy with the work I do that earns me a wage.

ScumLord wrote: »

Get a degree? Just a degree? Any degree? Why waste years of your life on something just because others say it's worth while? You can learn anything you want to a high standard outside of the education system if you just want to learn for your own satisfaction.

I have no Degree so it is very hard for me to find work. I do not think a Degree is a waste of my life as it will help me get employment with a company that will make me happy. I also feel it will be an academic achievement to prove to myself that I am capable and something I will regret not doing if I find myself on my death bed,

ScumLord wrote: »

"Own a Home" ewwuuu, why?

"Avoid unnecessary debts" like a house?

I am currently paying €550 rent. If a bank were to give me a mortgage to buy this nearby house I will be paying the exact same except it will be to owning the house. I really want a home not just a house I rent. A home is very different. Something that is mine to manage and take care of. I hate living in other peoples houses.

Legs.Eleven

snaphook wrote: »

If you aim at nothing, that's exactly what you will hit.

Unless you hit something accidentally, which has happened to me often.

o1s1n

ScumLord wrote: »

Not really, I don't see the point. It's like an anchor tying you down. All I need is a roof over my head, I don't really need the false sense of ownership. I won't under any circumstances be beholden to a bank.

Here's the point (for me anyway)

• Stability in where you live, you have control over where you'll be year to year (opposed to the whim of a landlord)
• The ability to make changes to the structure.
• Do you have any hobbies? I now have a hobby room and absolutely love tinkering around with it.
• Not having to move ever again. Moving is a pain in the hoop.
• It's an anchor in that you can view it as a 'base' - however you're still free to travel, free to rent it out and free to sell it if you so wish.
• If you ever have children, you won't be moving them around to different rented accommodations.
• I need to mention the ability to make changes again because it's just so great. 'I need cabling running around the house? Cool! I'll smash a hole through this wall'
• Not having to constantly change billing addresses. This drives me mental.
• Similar to the above, having a set postal address.
• Asset ownership after the mortgage duration.

Obviously it varies from person to person and some of the above wouldn't interest you in the slightest, but it definitely does hold a lot of value to many people.

I loved moving around to different places when I rented, however I hated feeling like my home was at the whim of a landlord. Like I didn't have complete control of my surroundings.

ScumLord

bogwalrus wrote: »

I have no Degree so it is very hard for me to find work. I do not think a Degree is a waste of my life as it will help me get employment with a company that will make me happy. I also feel it will be an academic achievement to prove to myself that I am capable and something I will regret not doing if I find myself on my death bed,

What if you find you don't like the course? I accept it's not easy to find a job in a world where people just want to see the paperwork, but I think that paperwork is most meaningful to the laziest and corruptible businesses. If you want to get onto the corporate career ladder a degree will serve you well.

o1s1n wrote: »

• Stability in where you live, you have control over where you'll be year to year (opposed to the whim of a landlord)

Well yo can have a lease too, there's also nothing to say you will be able to live there in a year, anything could happen, you could find the house is rotten to the core, they want to build a road where your house is, natural disaster floods the area, house prices plummet because it turns into a bad neighbourhood. It seems like a long term gamble to me, your gambling this house is worth all your time and effort and this location will always be worth living in.

[*]Do you have any hobbies? I now have a hobby room and absolutely love tinkering around with it.

Rented accommodation has spare rooms too, I converted one room into a gym so I've something to look at when I eat a cake.

[*]Not having to move ever again. Moving is a pain in the hoop.

Ah sure, a change is nice at the same time.

[*]It's an anchor in that you can view it as a 'base' - however you're still free to travel, free to rent it out and free to sell it if you so wish.

It's still a worry, renting it out comes with it's own responsibilities. You'd be as much beholden to that tennet as you'd be if the roles were reversed.

[*]If you ever have children, you won't be moving them around to different rented accommodations.

My children will grow up wild like nature intended.

[*]I need to mention the ability to make changes again because it's just so great. 'I need cabling running around the house? Cool! I'll smash a hole through this wall'

Ok, I'll concede that point.

[*]Similar to the above, having a set postal address.

That's what the home house is for, all my post (bar amenities) still go to the parents house.

[*]Asset ownership after the mortgage duration.

We seem to be having recurring recessions every 20 years, the value of your house will change depending on the moods of the general public and whatever criminal activity the banks are getting up to on that day.

Obviously it varies from person to person and some of the above wouldn't interest you in the slightest, but it definitely does hold a lot of value to many people.

It can hold value but it can turn into a huge financial liability at the same time.

Like I didn't have complete control of my surroundings.

Well you don't, and never will.

o1s1n

ScumLord wrote: »

Well yo can have a lease too, there's also nothing to say you will be able to live there in a year, anything could happen, you could find the house is rotten to the core, they want to build a road where your house is, natural disaster floods the area, house prices plummet because it turns into a bad neighbourhood. It seems like a long term gamble to me, your gambling this house is worth all your time and effort and this location will always be worth living in.
.

Ah here, bit dramatic I think! What's the probability of losing a rental lease versus my house falling into a sink hole/some other natural disaster?

You can say, 'you just don't know' - that's true. But the probability definitely swings much farther in one direction than the other.

Flooding - This is something I'm really paranoid about and purposely avoided anywhere at risk of flooding by buying a house with a hill sloping away from it.

I also bought a house built in an era where there was no risk of pyrite or any other structural rubbish. There was as structural survey done and the building is sound.

ScumLord wrote: »

Rented accommodation has spare rooms too, I converted one room into a gym so I've something to look at when I eat a cake..

I mean more in a modification sense. There are things I'm doing to the room which there's no way I could get away with in rental accommodation. Same with a gym, you wouldn't be able to hang a ceiling mounted punch bag etc.

ScumLord wrote: »

Ah sure, a change is nice at the same time.

I'm more talking about the logistics it's a nightmare for me as I have two arcade machines and loads of other rubbish :pac:

ScumLord wrote: »

It's still a worry, renting it out comes with it's own responsibilities. You'd be as much beholden to that tennet as you'd be if the roles were reversed.

True, I know what you mean. It is definitely a responsibility you are forever 'anchored' to I suppose. For me that's no problem as it's what I want, for you (you seem like a bit of a traveller, not in the ethnic sense :pac:) maybe not so much.

ScumLord wrote: »

That's what the home house is for, all my post (bar amenities) still go to the parents house.

Same here until I moved - and you know what, I was absolutely sick to death of having to travel from Clontarf to Bray every time I wanted to pick up my ebay packages

My parents were also sick to death of all my ebay packages.

Parcel Motel helped with that somewhat!

ScumLord wrote: »

We seem to be having recurring recessions every 20 years, the value of your house will change depending on the moods of the general public and whatever criminal activity the banks are getting up to on that day.

Yes, but you can't argue with the fact that once the house is paid off, it's my house. My asset. I can sell it on. Whether that's for 500k, 50k or 5 euro.

Even if I sell it for less than I paid for it, I'm still getting something extra on top of dwelling there for the time period.

With renting you only get the dwelling part.

ScumLord wrote: »

Well you don't, and never will.

A lot of your argument is very airy fairy, bohemian type logic.
Obviously nobody really has control over anything. We're on a big blue sphere hurtling through space at huge speed - a meteor could smash into my face tomorrow. I could step in front of a bus. My house could explode. I might suffer spontaneous human combustion.

However, I'm talking about control within my means.

I have far more of this now owning a property than I did renting. As I have control to modify my home and I have control to stay there year on year.

I don't have that sense that a landlord could decide, at any moment, that he wishes for me to leave my home. (sure, they have to give notice, but the end result is the same)

logically

Re: regrets.

“Here’s the thing, if we have goals and dreams, and we want to do our best, and if we love people and we don’t want to hurt them or lose them, we should feel pain when things go wrong. The point isn’t to live without any regrets. The point is to not hate ourselves for having them.”

“We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create and to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.”

ScumLord

The only way I could consider buying a house is if I could buy it outright, getting a mortgage is basically like having a bank as your landlord.

I can see peoples reasoning behind owning a house, I just don't want to go through the 30 years of debt to get one, the advantages don't outweigh the negatives in my mind.

B.A._Baracus

Mink wrote: »

I'm not great with long term goals, I work better with short term 6 month goals for example;
1) sort out all my backlogged taxes,
2) get knocked up,
3) Start and finish a painting.

They're attainable and real and more or less converge into my airy fairy happiness longterm goals

Well I can help you out with one aspect





















... I always wanted to start and finish a painting myself :pac:

The Diabolical Monocle

I dont plan on having a death bed.

I plan on having a death pistol.

No.1 Life goal - Not dragging out the end bit.

Jonny Blaze

Mink wrote: »

I'm not great with long term goals, I work better with short term 6 month goals for example;
1) sort out all my backlogged taxes,
2) get knocked up,
3) Start and finish a painting.

They're attainable and real and more or less converge into my airy fairy happiness longterm goals

You didn't by any chance wander in from this thread did you?

gramar

Duggy747 wrote: »

I made a grunting sound when I got up off the couch the other day.


I've prepared my will and have the coffin ready.

A grunt? Is that all? I'm 35 and I sound like a female tennis player when I have to get up off the couch.

Arthur Beesley

bluewolf wrote: »

Apparently I'll be an "older woman" when I hit 30 so I'll just sit in the corner and knit and occasionally nod off


I think the two of you are saying the same thing

Be careful - you may end up on his list.

Ihatecuddles

At 30 id like to bé finished having kids.

Happily married for 8 years.

Have the house exactly how id like it.

Thats it

Just.Jessie

I wanna buy a small cottage in the middle of nowhere
Since I got rid of my ex it seems to be realistic.

Tail Docker

I would have said aim for the moon, career, blah, blah, blah, but last friday a mate died of brain-cancer and today a close friend was informed he has cancer, which has caused some re-appraisal. He's 29.. So now, I'm gonna go with spend time with those you love and have some fun. No-one ever died regretting not working more.

LorMal

ScumLord wrote: »

Not really, I don't see the point. It's like an anchor tying you down. All I need is a roof over my head, I don't really need the false sense of ownership. I won't under any circumstances be beholden to a bank.

well done you. I think you are dead right. Far too many of us (including me) are scared to death every damn month trying to pay the mortgage - its a bloody life sentence.

I would advise any young person today to save your money and only buy a house if/when/ever you can buy it cash.

Fox_In_Socks

,No real goals.

Oh I have day dreams alright, of crushing my enemies, instilling law and order as the World Emperor, dealing justice and mercy to those that deserve it.

Unfortunately, to get where I want would involve too many pyramids of human heads, and I just don't have the time to be an all powerful dictator.

I mean I have the gym and jogging during the weekdays after work, nowhere to fit it in.